The (MIS)Adventures of Sugar&Spice

The Mumbai Signal: A One-stop Shop!

2011-03-31T22:42:00.002+05:30

Gone are the days when you shopped at the kirana or the mom-n-pop stores down the street or around the corner. With time one saw the advent of departmental stores,w hich stacked everything you needed, in neat little spaces, all under one roof. Small stores lead to big ones, and they got bigger and bigger till they became Hyper!

But the latest format of sales which seems to have hit the urban cities, especially one as diversely populated as Mumbai, is the signal market (yes they call it signal here, not "red light" as they do in Delhi!). "Whats that?", I hear you say? Well let me elaborate!

Wanna taste the first mango/strawberry of the season? Bored on the long trip home, wish you could catch up with the latest gossip in the cine magazine or catch the latest Jeffrey Archer book? Looking for a matching trinket for the latest dress you just bought? Wish you could pacify your kid making a ruckus on the back seat, with a drawing book or a toy? Fancy a cute or cool stickon decoration for the dashboard, or maybe a an ornate vase/statue for home? Just had a fight with your wife/gf and wished you had some flowers to make up? Running late for a party where you needed a cool contraption like the glowing devil horns? Phone runs out of battery, wish you had a car charger? Feeling hungry, looking for a quick snack like peanuts or something? Well look no further! your friendly traffic signal on the way to home/work will give you all that and more!

Gone are the days when the only thing you got n signals (atleast Delhi signals) were gola (or nariyal), fake (or maybe real) Bisleri water bottles, mid-day newspaper and people selling aggarbattis and orange dusting cloths for your car. From food, to latest contraptions, to flowers to reading material... you got it all in just 2 minutes that you wait at the signal. Dare you stop and you are hoarded by a plethora of products to choose from.

However, Caveat Emptor! There is no guarantee of these things, which look very nice from the window but may turn out to be totally different once you reach home and check em out! And the constant buzzing and knocking of the irritating hawkers may get to you, especially on some of the longer signals (yes, some of them have a waiting time of upto 10 minutes sometimes!), and ofcourse the other irritants like beggars and eunuchs! Some of the hawkers are weird too: some book sellers always ask me for a lift across the sea link to Bandra from Worli sea face! These days another favourite ploy to rid you of money is to pretend someone died, and ask for money for teh funeral: funny how teh same wman loses her relative every day!! And then there are the Eunuchs who love to touch you (atleast men, thank god not women), to get you to pay them! God bless if you try to get away with paying them just a measly fiver! And some just dont stop bargaining, like starting with Rs 300 for the box of strawberries, and coming down to as low as Rs 50!

Sure there are pros and cons but sometimes you do get some neat bargains and cool stuff at the signal that you not have seen or picked up otherwise. And the time you save by doing the shopping on the go! No need to park the car, or hunt for shops! :)

I just thank god Mumbaikars dont believe in Shani, and we are not hounded by people asking for money for Shani Maharaj on Saturdays, wearing hideous black clothes, and carrying decayed blackened metal tins with photos of random deities! Well, that is another thing to love about aamchi Mumbai! :D

Well time to wrap up and get ready for another trip around the city: looking forward to the latest stuff on the block, or shall I say signal? ;)

Blood is thicker than water?

2010-01-21T09:09:00.002+05:30

One thing I have observed over the years, in media, in real life: blood really is thicker than water. Its amazing how much we care about our parents, siblings, and children, but alas, the same devotion is not to be there for spouses. Not to say there is no love, but when compared, blood ties win over love ties, even if just by a shade.

Look around. There are divorces happening by the second. Funny how we dont hesitate before parting ways with our life partner. But have you heard of divorce form kids or parents? Sure not everyone treats their parents or kids well. But a majority of us manage lifelong relations with our parents, because we owe them, and we accept who they are. Same for our kids.. they are our own flesh and blood, we create them, so we have a speacial attachment which goes even beyond our parents/siblings. Such emotion!

Similarly why cant we accept our partners for what they are? Why is there always this divorce option we can resort to? Why cant we just work on the relationship like we do for our parents/kids? I dont mean one should accept abuse or adultery. But these are hardly reasons for divorce these days. People part on petty everyday issues. Due to "irreconciliable differences". I see people willing to kill and die for their kids. But few can do it for their partners. Dont we understand if it were not for our partners we would not have the kids?

Today, trust comes naturally from blood ties. We blindly trust our parents, but are more suspicious of our spouses. I feel atleast in the indian context, when a child is born to a couple, the love relation of the couple dies and parental relationship emerges, and stays forever. No space for love anymore. Life revolves around kids. I am totally for taking care of parents/siblings/kids the best way you can, but to ignore relation with your spouse as a lover, as a companion in the whole race for taking care of others, is sad.

So much is said, written about love. Our books, movie, music... everything revolves around love. But what happens to love some time after marriage? Seems today no one really needs a life partner. You have friends for company and intellectual stimulation, flings for physical need, and servants to do everything else. Need a kid? just adopt, or go for IVF etc. Seems marriage, and life partners have outlived their use.

Great idea. No lazy husbands or nagging wives. No feeling of being bound. Everyone is independent and free to do whatever they want. But remember: one day, your parenst will be no more, your kids will have a life of their own, and the only person you will have is your partner. And if you have not given importance to that relationship, or you dont have a partner, you will be lonely till the end of your life. And trust me, loneliness is the worst disease of them all.

Someone please tell me

2010-01-21T08:52:00.003+05:30

I do not have the time, patience or inclination to read lengthy newspaper articles nor sit glued to news channels, so I may not know inctricate details of the proceedings of the case. But someone please tell me.. Why are we just not hanging Kasab? It has been over a year since the 26/11 carnage, there is every proof available that Kasab is guilty... then why discuss a details of a million charges one by one, even when he has pretty much pleaded guilty to his crimes? Seriously why is this trial taking forever, why are funds being spent on keeping him in custody, whay the hell are the authorities dilly-dallying? IS there any doubt he is a monster who killed so many people? Havent they gotten out enough from him? Whats the point in dragging this forever? Enough words. Time for some action now. Cmon lets hang him and get over with this finally.

Defining Religion

2009-12-27T22:12:00.002+05:30

I have been feeling a surging emotion for a few months now. Every time I think about what my religion is, I feel unsure. What should I say?

Technically I am born into a Hindu family. But isn't religion about believing in the teachings and following the way of life prescribed by it? That way I am quite the non-believer. Though I have been brought up to perform and participate in basic festivals/poojas, I primarily indulge in teh same to be part of the community. It is fun when everyone sits around, and dresses up, has yummy food, etc. But if you ask me if I believe in idol-worship, keeping fasts, giving money/food to temples/animals, doing all night jagrans.. I would politely decline.

Though I am not as smug as to believe there is no power, as I am still struggling with answers to many of life's questions, like what are we doing on this earth, how and most importantly did the whole universe come into being... I still dont believe in a particular GOD, or theory, or principle. I am also not a firm believer in destiny... that one is helpless, everything is already written for you. I believe everyone makes their own luck or destiny.. we are given situations, and how we react to them, is our choice and hence we decide the course of our lives.

As for GOD/DEVIL I think it is just about good and bad, a little bit of both of which is there in every human being. What part manifests itself more, is upto the person and their situation. Same for HEAVEN/HELL... it is all here on this earth. Whatever you do, good or bad, you reap teh benefits here in your lifetime only.

However, I still think that there is some power, which is behind all which is inexplicable to me, most of the things are otherwise explained by science. But Ramji, Allah, Jesus... I think they all are just mythology. No offense to those who believe in religion and GOD, I have utmost respect for believers. Even if I dont necessarily subscribe to their beliefs.

So where does that place me? I am not exactly an Atheist. Maybe agnostic. But what do I say when someoen asks me my religion? These days I have resorted to saying "None". However absurd it may sound, but that is the truth. Why is it so difficult for someone to accept that someone may not want to have a religion? Why cant we have a column in every damn form where there is an option under religion "None"? It may be common, acceptable, even fashionable abroad to not be religious, but in a country like ours, it is unimaginable. Wonder why.

I am not religious, and I am not ashamed of it. I am thankful when good happens, and I pray for safety when something bad happens. But to no one in particular. I just wish for what I want, from teh bottom of my heart, hoping it comes true.

I am waiting for the day when I will be asked to fill up the religion option in a form or something. And I will leave it blank. And I will be questioned. And I will answer. Lets see what happens then.

A couple was in the news recently, for doing just that. The husband is Muslim, the wife (coincidentally named Aditi), a Hindu. They had a baby, and while getting a birth certificate, the question of religion arose. They decided to not give any religion as an option, they wanted to leave that choice with their children when they grew up. But alas, the authorities would not accept it. "Are you ashamed of beinh a Hindu/Muslim?", they asked. "We are not ashmed of our roots but we dont practise our religion", the couple quipped. Nevertheless, the certificate is auto-generated and cant be printed if any information is left blank. The authorities suggested going for "Others" option. Though the couple was not happy with that, as that option still means defining what religion one has apart from the commonly known ones, in the absence of any other way out, the couple relented.

Like them I know I will be faced with this situation many times in my life, while making a passport, admitting a child in school, or getting admitted into a hospital; but I intend to stick to my guns. Wonder if there will be a day when it wont be frowned upon, or even noticed, when I just leave it blank, or better still there is an option "Not Applicable" or "Atheist/Agnostic"!

Chivalry is dead these days.... or not!!

2009-09-22T14:44:00.003+05:30

Chivalry is a much debated topic in these modern times. Whether its about how much is too much (Sir Walter Raliegh laying down his coat over a puddle to let Queen Elizabeth cross it) or too little (opening doors, offering seats), to the feminists vehemently calling it a violation of their rights to equality (I know of friends who refuse to take the ladies' seats in buses etc), chivalry is popularly discussed amongst us. But whether chivalry is dead these days, I am never able to make up my mind!

A few months ago I was travelling from Delhi to Mumbai. When we landed in Mumbai, and got into the bus which transfers to the airport, 2 people were discussing how Delhiites are such MCPs while Mumbaiites are more chivalrous, taking an example within the bus of a man, who was contentedly sitting on a seat while a lady next to him was standing, looking uncomfortable. I heard the comment but felt bad for the guy, cuz I did see his gesture towards to woman to offer her a seat, but she herself refused.

Though I don't know if there was any merit in this statement, and having lived in and loved both Mumbai and Delhi I was unable to decide.... when 2 incidents occurred on my recent trips to Delhi which both asserted as well as refuted that statement of Delhiites not being chivalrous.

In my first incident I was visiting a doctor with my mother. I went up to the clinic to have a quick meeting and get back, while my mother stayed back in the car. As soon as I got back and started to leave, I realised the key had got stuck and something inside the ignition had broken because of which I could not start the car. Now the car was parked on the roadside, not a parking, as I had intended to be there only for a few minutes. But we were now stuck on the busy roadside, where soon our car was a hindrance to the already very heavy traffic.

Soon the traffic policeman came and asked us sternly to remove the car from there ASAP. We tried to explain the situation to him, but to no avail. We called a helpline, who promised to be there in half hour, but eventually turned up more than an hour later. All that while we were continuously harassed by the policemen, and were forced to move the car on neutral, manually. Mom and I got out and started to push the car towards a nearby lane. The road was unsuitable and our strength not enough to make much headway... I looked around and saw we were near a bus stand and just next to us many people, all men, were standing. But in spite of seeing two women haplessly trying to move a car by themselves, not one guy budged. They kept standing there watching the tamasha! I got really pissed and asked someone to help... and not a single guy came forward.. they just stared at me shamelessly! I told them off, telling them what a shame it was that they would not help two women in distress... not one guy felt ashamed enough to come up to help even then. I was so pissed off that day, I can express. Downright shameful behaviour, like I have never seen before. No feeling of humanity in anyone! That day I made up my mind, that indeed Delhi men were a bunch of asses.

Till I changed my mind a few weeks back, on another trip to Delhi. That day mom, dad and I were travelling to my in-laws' place, which is a good 35 km away. We had barely left our house that it started to drizzle and 2 km into the journey, we had a flat tyre! Now we had a spare, but it was raining, and we were dressed for an outing, and I was with my 55 and 65 yr old parents... Nevertheless Dad and I got out and started to work on replacing the tyre, while mom tried to hold up an umbrella for us.. again we asked a few rickshaw-walas to help... we even offered money. But no one bothered. Dad refused to let me do the hard work, and started working on removing the tyre while i assisted him. Seeing him do this brought tears in my eyes, less out of sadness and desperation and more out of frustration on the lack of some good samaritans in this city! When suddenly a Wagon R stopped and a middle aged and an old man came out, both of them with folded hands saying "Bhaisaab, can we be of any help in any way?" And then they took over, refusing to let any of us help, and both of them (the old man with an injured hand too) changed the tyres in the pouring rain, and ensured all was well, before bidding us good bye. I did not know how to thank them, not that they asked for anything. I wanted to express my thanks in some way, but giving money for example, felt like an insult to their genuine help and concern. So we all just thanked them profusely with words and bid them good bye and good luck.

And that is how I came back to square one.

Since then I have thought about this and various other experiences and incidents and though, with the attitude towards women being much better in Mumbai than in Delhi, Ive come to a conclusion that chivalry is very much alive, even if in a few men, and no matter what the statistics reveal, I think it has nothing to do with the country or city or religion or education... A true gentleman can be of any caste, age, background, and touch your life out of the blue in unexpected ways, and make you feel truly, like a lady!

Finally! It's time to be happy and Gay!

2009-07-03T08:06:00.004+05:30

As you may have already heard, in a landmark judgement by the Delhi High Court yesterday, Homosexuality has been decriminalize. Before this, Section 377 of the IPC, from the British Raj times, read that homosexuality and any form of unnatural sex was a crime. The same has been amended, keeping in mind the basic right of a human being to equality and choice of partner. While this is a reason to rejoice for many, both LGBTs and others, issues like legalisation of gay marriages are still under debate.

I am all for equality and right to choose a partner for every human being, and ever since I came to know about the existence of Section 377, I have wondered which dark era we are living in. Why are we still sticking on to such ridiculous laws left to us by the British? As the biggest democracy, and the second largest population in the world, cant we think and make laws for ourselves, as per the situation and for the better of the people in our country?

News about the repealing of Section 377 was a great relief for me. I'm straight, but I feel happy for all those who have finally got the right to be who they are, and not be made out as criminals. I can imagine the sighs of relief and happiness the LGBTs must be heaving, having fought for their basic rights for so many years in India. I am glad to know, that finally India has started to tread the path of maturity, and is trying to rid itself of biases, stereotypes, and conservative beliefs.

But I still have doubts in my mind. Forget about further steps and legalisation of gay marriages etc. Taking this first step of decriminalisation itself might be a big problem for India. Already several religious groups and leaders have started to protest against this historical judgement, justifying that legalising homosexuality will lead to further disintegration of the family system and this kind of consensual unnatural sex is against the law of nature, and India's moral, social and religious fibre.

What crap. I mean its high time we adapt ourselves to the changing world and accept certain things in life, like the existence of Gays. Though its less popular, its not unnatural for a person to feel attracted towards the same sex. And whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, whether you legalise it of not, gays will always be there. By legalising homosexuality, we have allowed these people an equal right to be who they are. It is a basic right, denial of which was extremely unfair.
Every individual has their own religious, social, moral, cultural beliefs, and is entitled to their opinion. If you think that homosexuality is against your belief system, then you keep away from it. How can you dictate to another adult human being to choose their partners as per your beliefs?

But these protesters don't care for rationality, right to equality, and logic. I wonder what they are really afraid of? That suddenly all straight people will start feeling homosexual after this ruling? That suddenly all their kids will get affected by this ruling and become gay? Yes, is someone is gay, they will now get a chance to come out of the closet, but isn't it better that way than to force people to get "Cured" from this "affliction" and FORCE them into straight marriages?

They say it will ruin the already fragile family system. I do not agree. If gay marriages are legalised, I am sure may gays will be more than happy to settle down into happy matrimony and live a fulfilling life like any other straight couple: set up a house together, earn a living, do household chores, take care of each other. How does it matter if the two people doing that are both men or women? As long as they love each other and care for each other; no one in the world has a right to judge them as a threat to the society. They are part of society and have every right to live as they want.

They say there will be no offspring and the human race will die out. I don't think it is ever possible that everyone in this world turns gay and no babies are born. Not everyone is gay, nor ever will be. And even if that does happen, I think the earth will rejoice that finally the human race has stopped producing more people, who do nothing but violate nature. I know this sounds extreme but so does the protest.

They say if their son is gay they wont have grandchildren and their family name will not continue. In countries where gay marriages are legal, gays are also allowed to adopt or have children of their own with some help. There is no reason why we cannot have that here as well. With so many childless straight couples, and orphans on the other hand, adopting sounds like a great idea. And with sperm banks and surrogacy, now one can have their OWN flesh and blood too.

They feel that even if they are OK with someone in their family being gay, the society will not accept and ostracise them. Well, as time passes, people will get matured, or so I hope, and realise that homophobia is baseless and ridiculous. Haven't we come a long way from the times when Sati was legal and widow remarriage unthinkable? We managed to change one of the many important and long-believed traditions of our culture. MAybe we will be able to make a change in this case too. Hopefully sooner or later people will think logically and accept homosexuality: it wont be a taboo anymore, and LGBTs will be a comfortable part of the society. This change may take years or decades, and maybe the stigma may not be completely wiped out, but I hope some change does come about. And the change will start from each individual.

Ofcourse, until then we should prepare ourselves for a slew of protests, rallies, marches, and who knows, maybe even riots, all against this judgement, and continuing social stigma against the queer. But here's hoping that one day soon, this will die down and everyone will move on.

If only we understand, accept, respect and celebrate our diversity, can we be happy together as one nation. Kudos to the High Court for taking this decision. Cheers to all the gays on India, and boo to all those who are against this!

MJ - R.I.P.

2009-06-26T19:51:00.003+05:30

Today is one of the saddest days of my life.

I woke up, thinking it was just another usual friday, when the news hit me.
Michael Jackson died yesterday at his LA home. He collapsed, went into coma and finally died.

But I still cannot believe it. It has not sunk in. He just suddenly died. Im shocked.

I loved that guy. He was the first international music star I ever heard. I grew up on his songs. We all did. We sang, danced to his tunes. He had a song for every mood... romance, dance, brotherhood...
There have been many talented musicians who have walked on the face of this earth, but no one had the mass appeal and fan following like that of MJ.

I know apart from all the mourning, there are many people who are happy he is dead or are making fun of his supposed paedophile ways. I dont know if he really did those things, and I dont care.
He was a phenomenon. A legend. He crossed all boundaries of music and geography. He did a lot to give back to the world through his songs and activities. He was a great man and I sincerely feel the world has suffered a great loss.

Not only is it a sad loss, its a tragic loss. MJ had unmatched fame and fan following. And money. But a rare skin disease, failed marriages, financial ruin and paedophilia controversies marred the man, and made his last 5 years a horror.
I feel sad for him, what a sad way to go, but maybe it was a relief for him from the mess his life had become.

All said and done, I wish he had stayed longer, come to India for one last concert, written and sung his last legendary song... But that is not to happen and we will have to make do with the legacy and the music he left behind.
I just hope the whole autopsy thing is done and over with ASAP and more mockery and drama is not made out of him and his life. May his soul Rest In Peace.

Michael Jackson - we love you and will always miss you. You will be remembered forever!

Monsoon Ala Re!

2009-06-26T19:37:00.003+05:30

Monsoon is here, and how!

It has been raining a bit here and there in the past few days in Mumbai.
But it was only today that it really poured. Started early morning around 7-8, and continued till afternoon. The town side got flooded, large parts of suburb roads were covered with water too. Many people got stuck on the way to work..

All this in just a few hours of rain on day 1! Im all for rain.. but I wonder if we are prepared as a city for the upcoming onslaught, what with the highest tide in years coming up next month! Im sure no one wants a repeat of July 2006 floods.

I hope the residents and BMC together can make this monsoon enjoyable and not painful!

Home. Chapter 3.

2009-05-30T17:59:00.003+05:30

His days in boarding school were the best days of Ashish’s life. He was away from the troubled environment at home, though he missed having parents like other kids. He felt a bit lonely, a bit angry to not have a regular family life. But time heals, and he healed too. So did Rashi. After a few years, finally she came face-to-face with her son. She looked better, sounded cheerful. She hugged and kissed her “boy all grown up”, but somewhere, something was missing. They did not share the same bond anymore. Was it her fault, had she done everything she could in her power to give a good life to Ashish, he could not decide. But Ashish felt distant. This woman was not his mother. He tried to be happy for her, but could not find any words to reciprocate her emotions. Rashi knew she was pretending everything was fine, but she had lost her son a long time ago.

She tried to re-establish contact with Ashish. She would visit him often and discuss his progress. In spite of her personal trauma, he was a good student with bright prospects. “Intelligent, just like Steve…” she would comment. They talked about Steve sometimes. He was married with kids, and was living in Mumbai. They spoke once in a few months, generally to check up on each other. But Ashish did not like to talk about him. He had never forgiven his father for abandoning him. He never tried to meet or talk to him and liked it that way. Not that Steve tried either. Anyway, the visits continued and the relationship grew.

One day, Rashi gave him some shocking news “I have someone in my life I want you to know about” she said. “I met him in one of the support groups for divorcees. We met and instantly connected. Even he has gone through a sad divorce himself, and he understands my pain. We have found solace in each other, and would like to get married. I hope you can find some way to be happy for us.” Ashish was taken aback for a moment. It was happening again. He was scared, for her. What if even this too did not work out?

He smiled and congratulated his mother, who instantly gauged that something was amiss. But then, it was big news, and she thought better to give him time to digest it. And he did. He knew he had no other choice but to be OK with it. He knew that somewhere his mother would not go ahead with it if she felt Ashish did not want it. He met the man, and he looked OK to him. And Rashi’s second wedding took place, with no fanfare, just a simple court marriage ceremony. Only her parents and Ashish attended it.

By now Ashish had finished school and started his engineering course from IIT Mumbai. On the other hand, his mother and step father also settled in happy matrimony in Bangalore where his stepfather had his business. Many times they asked Ashish to come and live with them, but he refused. He felt much better at a distance. He would never feel at home with them. They desperately wanted a child, and since she married and had Ashish early, she still had a chance at 38. And one year later, though with much difficulty, they finally had a baby girl they named Ahana. Ashish went to meet them and the new baby once a year, and was pleased to see his mother, happy once again, and his little half-sister growing up so fast. She was not his real sister; he was not his real father, but close enough. They extended their love and support, and he did his best to reciprocate.

Chapter 4.

It was during his final year that he started to prepare for his MBA. Just the day after the CAT exam, he got that phone call that changed his life. It was his step father. “Ashish, I’m sorry; your mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It is quite advanced and she will have to undergo intensive treatment and surgery to make it. It would be great if you could spare some time to meet her.” Ashish held on to the phone long after the call went dead. He was aghast. At the unfair games God played with mankind. “Look at my poor mom, suffering cancer after all that she’s gone through, and look at my father, who is hale as a hog, even for all the sins he has committed.” After he had finished cursing the powers, and shedding a few secret tears in prayer for his mother, he went to visit her.

When he saw her, full of tubes and needles, he realized how much he really cared for her. He felt strong emotion for his family for the first time in years. After all blood is thicker than water. He spent a whole 10 days with her, and worked double hard on his projects and exams so he could get more and more time with her. Rashi struggled with the treatment. Many chemotherapy and surgery sessions later they realized they could do anything to save her. The cancer had spread too much to be controlled, and they had done everything in their power. She had little time left.

Was it destiny that on the very same day Ashish’s most cherished dream of making it to an IIM came true, his mother breathed her last. Coincidentally he had made it to IIM-Bangalore, the very city she had made her home. With a heavy heart, Ashish completed the cremation rites. A distant looking Steve came to attend the funeral, but Ashish refused to let him disgrace his mother’s memory with his presence. His step-father stepped up in the way a father would, and joined hands with him in putting Rashi to a peaceful sleep. As always, his step dad had proved his loyalty and love for his mother, and his care and concern for Ashish. He had brought her out of a miserable past, given her a source of unlimited joy-Ahana, and a peaceful life till her untimely death. He had proved to be a dutiful husband, a doting father to Ahana, and gave support, even if mostly financial, to help Ashish realize his ambitions. And now there he was, standing next to the burning pyre, looking forlorn and broken, alone with the little Ahana, who had just started to know her mother. How will her ever explain the little princess where her mommy had gone? Ashish felt a deep sense of sympathy for him, and guilt for not spending more time with the family in the past. He wondered if he could ever make up for all the time he lost

Finally he did get an opportunity. Little Ahana probably did not understand fully the implications of what really happened, but even she sensed and felt the loss and sadness, and knew she would never have mommy again. But she knew something that would make things better. After the prayer meeting for Rashi was over, and everyone had left, as Ashish was saying goodbye to his stepfather, Ahana went up to him and tugged on his shirt sleeve. “Dada, now that mommy’s gone, why don’t you please stay with me?” Ashish did not know what to say. With a lump in his throat, and glistening eyes, he picked up the 4 year old and took her in his arms. He looked at his stepfather, who said “Yes, Ashish, why don’t you. I mean you will be based out of this city only, why don’t you come home? I realize with your mother gone, you might not want to stay, after all I am your stepfather and Ahana your step sister. But if you ever wanted a home, you know where you can find us.” And without a moment’s hesitation, Ashish hugged his father and sister: he knew exactly what he was going to do. He was his Father, she was his Sister, and they were Family. And when he finally entered the house in Bangalore with all his stuff, he knew that after 10 years, he was finally HOME.

Home. Chapter 1

2009-05-30T17:50:00.003+05:30

She was a small town girl. But she loved her city – Pune. The fun hangout joints in camp, the beautiful roads and greenery around the cantonment area… it was a lovely city, with amazing weather, and lots of friends made Rashi’s life full of fun.

She had just started college when she bumped into the tall, dark, handsome 23 year old Steve, who was pursuing MBA from another college in the city. Some of his friends were in the same college as hers, and soon, one meeting led to another, and before they knew it, they were in love.

They had been together for hardly a year, when Rashi’s parents came to know and objected to the relationship. “Beta you are too young to know what’s good for you. And that too, a Christian guy…” “So what mama, you know he is going to finish his MBA, and get a good job. He is from a good family, and he loves me.” “All that is OK, but our family doesn’t allow inter caste marriage Rashi…” “I don’t care Dad, I will marry him and only him; else I’ll die a spinster.”

Now Rashi’s was the only child of her parents, and having brought up their daughter with some much love and care, they could not break her heart, and finally agreed to the alliance. At the tender age of 19 Rashi decided to get married, she could not bear to stay away from Steve anymore. The wedding happened with much fanfare. Steve’s parents were not ecstatic either, but like Rashi’s parents, they too had given in to the demands of their son. “Kids today…” they all nodded in resignation.

Life was a bed of roses for Steve and Rashi. Steve got a great job with an MNC in the Sales & Marketing Department. Rashi became a homemaker, after she graduated. They bought a small house and decorated it with knick-knacks. Soon they were blessed with a baby boy, they named him Ashish. And he was a blessing. With his arrival, the household became even happier, the couple came closer, and money flowed in. They were having the time of their life!

Chapter 2.

Towards their 12th anniversary however, Rashi began to figure subtle changes in Steve’s behaviour. His increasing disinterest in the affairs of the house and his family, late nights, worry lines appearing on his face. Something was not quite right. “Maybe he is having an affair”, she thought once. But she later dismissed it as a figment of her imagination. “C’mon, Steve can’t do that to me”, she consoled herself, and went on with her life.

Trouble was, Steve WAS having an affair, and though he was doing his best to keep it hidden, he had a nagging suspicion that Rashi knew. He still cared for Rashi and Ashish, but somewhere the magic, the charm of his marriage had faded, and he started to feel trapped. “Typical Man”, he told himself once, but he could not help but get attracted towards the new head of PR, Ms. Sanjana Kapoor.

He was wondering when and how he would break the news to Rashi when she came to him one day, teary eyed, holding his cell phone in her hand, looking at him accusingly. Even before she said it, he knew she knew. She had read one of the many SMS’s the two had shared over the past few months, and though Steve always hid or deleted them, this was one SMS he forgot about. “Maybe it was God’s wish that she should know”, he wondered, as she said “Why Steve, why?” And all he could say was “I’m sorry, but I love her.” She broke down. Her Steve. She could not believe he could do this. But he had. And she could do nothing about it. Or could she?

She asked about Ashish and her future. He said he would give her alimony, but it was over. He was leaving. She pleaded with his parents to talk to him; they could not make him change his mind. At last she gave up signed the divorce papers and Steve left Rashi and Ashish. She felt terrible alone. Even though she was getting some money towards basic expenses, she knew she could not live on it, and needed to work. After being a homemaker for so long, she found it difficult to find a job. She managed to get a teacher’s position in a nearby playschool. With her meager salary, some help from Steve and some from her parents, she managed somehow. But the thought of future scared her.

And Ashish was in a world of his own. After 11 years of fun-filled childhood, he had suddenly grown up. He fights between his parents, his mother crying all day, his father not coming home for days… He felt cheated out of his childhood, his carefree days which were supposed to have no responsibility. He was dragged in court during the divorce case, but there was no custody battle, as the new Mrs. Steve George did not want Rashi’s child in her house.

Ashish felt like a burden. His father did not want him; his mother could not afford him. Rashi went into chronic depression. She soon started to neglect her own and Ashish’s welfare. She would frequently miss office; forget to feed Ashish, not talk to anyone for days. And Ashish took care of himself. He learned how to make basic omelets, maggi etc, travelled to and from school on his own, did all schoolwork by himself, and managed the funds while his mother withered away. Soon the grandparents agreed that it’s best they put him in boarding school, while Rashi underwent treatment for depression. He thought it would be the last he saw of her. He was wrong.

Mahira

2009-05-27T09:46:00.003+05:30

Mahira was her name. It meant “expert”. And she was. At her favourite game, the only thing she looked forward to every day. Carrom!

It started when she was 6… with much older brothers who had no time for her, and a mother battling with chronic depression and uncontrollable outbursts of rage, she had no company except the old small carom board that her siblings had long discarded. And she liked it like that.

They were not very well off, and lived in a small apartment in Sunshine Housing Society in Mukherjee nagar, Delhi. The only person she really loved was her father, a old looking man defeated by the trials of life. Not only because he was the only one who gave her hugs and got her toffees, but because he used to play carrom with her every evening!

As the years went by, she got a better hang of the game. By 8 she could defeat all her family and friends, by 10 she was fighting off 15 year old champs. No one talked about Mahira's beauty, or her performance in school, but they all noticed her talent at one of the most popular indoor games of the country. And she swelled with praise.

It did not go to her head though. She worked hard, and deserved the praise. At just 12, she was taking part in all local and inter-school sports championships, and rarely came home empty handed. If only people gave more importance to Carrom, she thought, I would be no less than a Sania Mirza! She was almost obsessed with her carrom board, playing with it while eating, watching TV,… Her family did not understand her craze, but did not care much. As long as she was getting decent grades at school.

Finally the day came. Every summer the local Sports club celebrated sports day and held various competitions for children of all ages. Last year, Mahira managed to reach the finals for Carrom, but lost her last game. She had never been more devastated. Since that day she swore she will not lose again in this competition. She practiced more, challenged as many friends and relatives she could find to a game, and worked on improving her concentration skills and hand dexterity. It was all worth it, for that week in June when she would get to finally prove her mettle to all. She had managed to win the initial matches and now was gearing up for the finals to be held that weekend.

She went to the old sports room in the neighbouring apartments where the competition was to be held. With 3 children, her family could not spend on a big fancy carrom board with accessories for her, especially when they had other important expenses towards the brothers. So this was where she came everyday to practice. She had made quite a lot of friends there. An otherwise shy girl, carrom was her only source of friends. They were all impressed by her abilities, and loved to play with her. No one minded losing to her; she was a sweet, fun-loving girl passionate about her game, never haughty and always quick to help the learners. They all looked forward to having her around, and were even gunning for her in the competition. Since the people of Megha Apartments knew and trusted Mahira, they even allowed her access to the room unattended.

When Mahira reached the room, she found it the door wide open and a few lights on. It was a large hall, with some table tennis equipment, and lots of tables for indoor games like scrabble, chess, pictionary, carrom, cards. There was an adjoining room for squash, and 3 huge lawns outside for cricket, tennis, football and badminton. It was a Friday afternoon during summer vacations, so a few 8-yr-old kids were playing table tennis inside (or trying to). Mahira smiled at their efforts to keep the ball on the table, and went on to occupy her favourite table with her favourite board.

Suddenly she heard some noise. There was a small toilet in the corner of the hall, near the carrom tables. It was hardly used by residents, as it was dingy and smelly. The servants, watchmen, drivers etc occasionally used it. At first Mahira dismissed the noises to be that of some servant using the toilet. She was embarrassed to hear the noises, which she thought were not her business. But soon when they turned into apparently painful moans, she could not stand it any longer. Emboldened by the 2 boys playing TT (she was not alone in case anything WAS wrong) she slowly made her way towards the half open door of the bathroom, to see the most shocking sight of her life.

A young guy with a stubble, dressed in trousers and shirt, head tilted towards the ceiling, eyes closed, moaning away, was shaking his hand vigorously near his waist, holding on to something Mahira could'nt see properly. And then it suddenly came into view, as Mahira let out a gasp, and the man let it go in a fright… Mahira had never seen ‘it’ before, though she knew about it. She did not understand what was happening, but in a second she felt sick: she knew something was not quite right. She ran out of the door, the guy running out after her shouting “Please don’t tell anyone!!”

And Mahira ran. Ran like crazy. Faster than P.T. Usha! She ran and ran till she entered the gates of her apartments. She looked back to make sure that crazy guy was not following her. He wasn’t. She was relieved. She ran farther to her doorstep, rang the bell continuously till her flustered mother opened the door, ready to give a piece of her mind to the person who was disturbing her afternoon siesta. But Mahira did not have time to listen to yet another scolding from her mother. She ran up straight to her room (thankfully she did not have to share her tiny room with her brothers), and collapsed on the bed. Never the religious type, even on the eve of any match, suddenly she started to chant all the prayers she ever knew, to ward off the evil she carried with her from that room. But to no avail. Even after 15 minutes she was still sweating, breathing heavily, unable to forget the scene which was playing in her mind over and over. She felt sick, but had nothing in her stomach to puke out. Her mother came to her room and on finding it locked, started banging on the door and shouting “What happened Mahi?” But Mahira did not reply. She just broke into quiet sobs, not knowing why she cried, why she felt guilty, when she had done nothing.

She did not emerge for lunch. She did not go out in the evening. When 7 o clock came, they all asked her to come out and go for the final match. But she was petrified of entering that room again. What if that guy was still there waiting for her? She opened the door and mumbled something about not feeling well. Her parents checked her temperature… she was running 100 degrees fever. They decided to let her rest. She was glad that she developed fever, and could avoid the match. She stayed in her room all that week, going out only to use the bathroom or have food. Her parents could not understand her behaviour. They assumed she was just unwell. The boys were glad to have the TV all to themselves. They were happy to get rid of their kid sister who was more of a pest to them. The mother was happy to have one less mischievous child to run after, and the father was sad, to see his little princess so glum. He tried to talk to her a few times, and cajole her to play a few rounds of carrom, but she flatly refused. She was distant and awkward with him. In just a few days they had grown apart and he would never know why. Finally he gave up and went back to his own bleak empty world, alone. And Mahira never played carrom again.

Over the next few weeks, Mahira took up studies with full frenzy, forgetting about everything else. Though everyone was happy to see her dedication towards studies, there were some who missed the passion Mahira had for her game. Especially her teachers. “Mahira is doing well in math, Mrs. Sharma, but she has lost total interest in carrom… Do you know what happened?” Ofcourse I know what happened, Mrs. Mehra thought, she has finally grown up and over her silly obsession and realised that studies are the most important thing.

And so the chapter of Mahira and her carrom was closed. Most people regarded it as a passing phase, a sign of growing up. Her mother was happy the child was not spending all her time on games, and took up this opportunity to hone her home-making skills. After all who wants a sports woman at home, cooking and homemaking are more important skills than anything else.

And Mahira forgot about carrom and spent all her time helping her mother, studying, and occasionally taking a walk in the park. She stopped meeting the few friends she had. After a few days of asking about her, they also gave up. She was afraid to see other people, she was afraid they could see the guilt on her face, that they could look at her and know what happened that day in that room. God knows what torture she went through to avoid looking at or talking to people at home or in school. She kept to herself. Spent all her time in her room, slept fitfully at night, haunted by the dark room with the evil man. Her reticence went unnoticed, since she was usually shy around people.

This went on for a few months, after which they shifted their house to Ghaziabad where they had finally bought their own house. With a change of scenery and people, Mahira finally found the courage to forget that incident and move out of the house and make friends. They cycled around, played various sports and hung out at the happening spots. Her family was happy to see her old self once again, though no one dared to mention the C word again.

And Mahira was happy as this place had no sports room. She never told anyone about that incident, or that she played carrom. Maybe she would find the courage to tell someone some day, maybe after a few years she would forget about it completely. Or maybe she would one day be able to look back and laugh at the incident. But for now she was at peace, having laid her demons to rest. She was free from that room, that man, that moment, forever. Now I never have to play carrom again, she thought, with a grim but relieved smile.

Auto Ho To Aisa!!

2009-03-20T08:48:00.002+05:30

Recently I boarded an auto in Bandra, and I could not help but notice how different it was from the usual auto rickshaws. Various objects and statements, innovative and funny, were strewn all over the place. I could not resist writing about it here. Have attached a picture to help visualise... Here goes an attempt to describe the most ajeeb-o-garib auto ever!

The HUGE rearview mirror on the right side had on it written “King of Bandra” “Mumbai’s Cool rickshaw” and “Hum sab ek hain” along with all religions’ symbols

On left corner, it was written “Toilet not available, sorry”

Below that was added “ Do not spit”

Along with a Ganesha and Sai baba picture, there was a small agarbatti holder, along with pictures of the four 26/11 martyrs

On the left side there was a small TV that actually worked!!

Above it was a small fan, which also worked

The guy seemed to be a cleanliness freak: there were different types of dusters kept in front: feather, cloth etc.

There was a calendar on top right side

Latest newspaper was kept on the right side of dashboard (or whatever you call it in an auto)

On the right side, a clock was also mounted

On the right lower side, a locked cabinet was installed, probably to keep important stuff

The meter was colorful, with various denomination coins stuck on it…and this was written “Bapu bola get well soon Mamu!” and “Have a nice trip”

Behind his seat there was a magazine holder with a film magazine for passengers

Above the magazine was a mirror, and the statement “Please take care of your belongings”

On the left corner there was a first aid box stuck on the rod, along with the message “25% discount to handicapped”

On the right hand corner there was an ashtray stuck on the rod, with the message “smoking allowed”

On the left side there was a fire extinguisher attached

Behind the passenger seat, the backside was decorated with planets and stars, along with the statement “Salaam Mumbai”

On the left corner an small Donald duck like figure was stuck on, while on the right side a flower vase with plastic flowers was stuck on

In the middle, a small plastic glass full of sweets was kept

When my journey came to an end, I asked him if it was ok to take a picture. He said “Zaroor madam, sab lete hain!” And then he gave me a candy from the box behind!!
It definitely was the most unique and wonderfully decorated auto I had ever seen, and I bet you too would have never seen anything more interesting that this!!

Disgusting! Shameful! Despicable!

2009-03-03T18:16:00.002+05:30

These and more such adjectives can probably describe the ghastly attack unfurled on the Sri Lankan cricketers in Lahore for a tour by terrorists. Many well known players were shot at by gunmen, though thankfully no one has succumbed to injuries yet. However, according to yahoo news, 6 policemen and a civilian were killed in the attack.

While countries like India who had canceled their Pakistan tour plans due to security reasons must be heaving a sigh of relief, Sri Lankans seem to have their plate full of difficulties, what with all the mess of LTTE back home. I feel terrible for all those who got injured/killed, and sincerely hope that this incident draws strong reactions from the world communities.

It is no secret that terrorism situation is getting out of hand in Pakistan. And they seem to have accepted their fate of being "taken over, ruled, wiped out" by the Taliban. Its just one dosiier followed by another, with all parties passing the buck, instead of confronting and accepting the situation. But the buck SHOULD stop here.

5000 people died in 9/11 attacks, 500 people were injured or killed in Mumbai attacks. What is the world waiting for... an attack that kills tens of thousands of people, before strict action is taken agaisnt the terrorists and those supporting them? Surely now every country will snap any diplomatic ties with Pakistan... no sports or music or any other cultural relations. But is that enough? Unless those economies who can yeild power over Pakistan hit them where it really hurts, nothing will come out of any anti-terrorism efforts.

I really hope this incident amongst other, serves as a wake up call, for those those who have still not accepted the reality and have buried their head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich. Better nip this terrorism in a bud before it engulfs the whole world and threatens the very existence of humanity.

As for the terrorists, I would say only one thing to them... what the hell are you trying to prove by hurting innocent and unarmed people behind masks? Himmat hai to saamne se waar karo, barabari ke partner ke saath... Phir dekhte hain kisme kitna hai dum!

Post Script to 3 Cheers..

2009-03-01T12:01:00.002+05:30

I was just wondering over the last few days that although I am very happy we got oscars, I've suddenly had this feeling... that why are we so excited about some other country's award, MORE than our awards? Just because they are Westersn awards, are Oscars and BAFTAs more important than our National or Filmfare awards?? Why does everyone die to have an Oscar and not a Filmfare award? We are the biggest film industry in the world... shouldn't our awards also get some bhaav? I wonder.. if we start having similar categories like Oscars... best foreign film etc, would other countries enter their movies into it? Is it possible that the Indian awards can one day be as prestigious and watched and discussed and coveted?? I guess as long as we ourselves don't give our country bhaav and stop hankering over everything to do with the west, until we are sincerely proud of our industry, and really strive to notch up the standards, we can get anywhere NEAR the Oscars.. But I really do hope we do one day!! And Brad Pitt is overwhelmed to get a Fimfare award! :)

3 Cheers for India!

2009-02-24T11:05:00.002+05:30

I was very happy yesterday, and very proud.
After all, A R Rahman won two Oscars for his work in Slumdog Millionnaire!
Sharing the glory wree Gulzar for his lyrics, (finally!) and Pokutty for Sound mixing.
And not to forget Smile Pinki, a documentary on a 5 yr old girl from a village, born with a cleft lip, who finally gets it corrected and gets her smile!

However, at the same time I cant help but think...
Jai Ho is not Rahman's best work... Its foot-tapping and full of energy, but it would not even feature in my Rahman top ten! Nevertheless, he is a genuis, and sooner or later he was bound to get international recognition at this level. And I am so proud of him.

I also feel a tad sad for Gulzar and Pokutty. Not much bhaav is being given to these 2 people, though they also got Oscars for India.
Even though I dont understand all of Gulzar's lyrics, and admittedly it was the first time I heard of Pokutty, I think they deserve equal limelight and praise!

As for Slumdog, Im happy for the team that they won 8 out of 10 Oscars. Ive seen the movie, and I think its great. But honestly I dont see what the fuss is all about. I mean the movie is good and all, much better than the usual crap we see these days, but i dont think it was THAT great. I mean 8 oscar winning. IMHO, the movie was OVER HYPED. The funny thing is, the book on which it is based, has a completely different story, and a much better one at that.
Kudos to Danny Boyle for not copying the story word for word, and adding his own imagination to teh script, but I thought the book was better. And no one is even asking about the INDIAN authot Vikas swarup who wrote that book. I think he deserved a lot of praise as well for conceptualising the amazing story!!

A lot has been said about foreign directors making moolah out of the poverty and misery of India. But in spite of being directed by a foreigner and all that, I am truly happy and proud of the Oscar Smile Pinki got. A simple story of a ordinary girl, yet extraordinary. Pinki got her smile and put one on the lips of millions of Indians too.

Anywho, in spite of my reservations, all in all I am a happy Indian, proud of all those who made this dream com true for us, including Danny Boyle and Megan Mylan. Thanks to you all!!

6th Sense?

2009-02-12T19:55:00.000+05:30

The past couple of nights, I have had dreams that my brother is in trouble, and people are out to get him and beat him or worse, kill him.

The first time I had the dream, I got up, worried like hell for him. For a second my hand reached towards the cellphone to call and ask him if he’s ok, but then retracted. I did not want to trouble him unnecessarily and ruin his mood.

I called him the next day and told him about my dream casually, and asked him to take care. He asked me not to worry, that he was fine. But when similar dreams came back again, I told him to be careful. Not that I dream the future, but I was generally concerned.

That was when he told me… “Aditi, I did not tell u this before, because you would have completely freaked out, but the night you had the first dream, I indeed got into trouble!”

Apparently his friend got drunk and created a mess in a pub, fought with the manager, and got thrown out after getting beaten up. Still not satisfied, he broke the pub window and ran away, and unfortunately my brother got caught and beaten up!

He is fine now, not badly hurt, back to the usual routine, but knowing this really shook me up!! I am still wondering how I ended up sensing danger to my brother, and repeatedly dreamt about it for 3 days!

Anyway if nothing else, I think it at least proves the bond we share. From not being able to tolerate the presence of each other during teenage, to dreaming like this, us brother-sister duo have certainly come a long way!

Melancholy in Mumbai

2008-11-21T13:21:00.003+05:30

I have written about Mumbai on previous occasions, I have compared my hometown with the city, I have argued about which is the better city of the two to live in, I have expressed my opinion about the Anti-North Indian sentiments brewing in the city.

But now, I have relaxed. I no longer feel anxious, feel alien. I feel comfortable. I have realised there is no point in debating Mumbai - Delhi anymore. Each city has a character, a personality, a spirit of its own, and a place of its own in my heart. I have realised there is no longer any point in fighting the daily travel rigour, the pollution, the crowd, the dirt, the stink of fish... It is all a part of me now. I am immune.

In fact I have grown comfortable here. No matter what, it is my city now. It has started to feel familiar. The sights and sounds and smells. The people, the streets, the food... the beaches and the skies. The humid weather and the joke of a winter season. I feel comforted, travelling on the same roads, day in and day out... everything now seems part of my routine. I have started to recognise people and places. Roads and buildings. I have started making associations with them all at some or the other level, good or bad. I have started to enjoy being part of the hustle-bustle. I feel lost when I am away. I never thought I would feel this way but I miss Mumbai when I am not there.

I love the anonymity of the place. I am alone, independent. And I love it. I feel like dancing in the rains forever. I feel like walking the streets alone at night. I see the sun setting over the horizon, and I feel like entering into the ocean, into the welcoming arms of the waves, to be carried over to the horizon, and set with the sun into the sea.

I think, therefore I have a headache!

2008-10-08T08:27:00.004+05:30

Many people who know me have told me that I think too much. Especially worry about the future. What will happen, to whom, how... these are questions which are forever haunting me.
But the one question which troubles me the most is... What is the point of my existence?

Now I know all this sounds mighty philosophical, but this a serious question which I think of every now and then, and after much thinking, come to the same conclusion: that I have no idea.

Let me explain in detail my thoughts. (Now that is another thing people say that I do too much... explain in details...far too many details... so bear with me please! :))

The one thing I fear the most is death. I just cannot accept that we all have to die one day. Why do we have to? Why cant we keep living forever? Why cant we have the option to choose? I know people say that after a certain age, when you are too old and sick, you dont feel like living.
Or when everyone you know or care about is gone, there is no point in living. Something tells me that I would want to live forveer, no matter how old or lonely I am. I may be wrong, but that is how I feel right now, and what gives me nightmares is the thought that in a few decades (if I am lucky) I will cease to live. Forced to stop existing. Thanks to our bodies which start malfunctioning and finally give up. All my thoughts and abilities... the power of my mind, gone down the drain because of shut down of my bodily functions. It is not fair. Why can we not continue to exist even if our bodies wither away?

Now I know religious peoeple would like to tap on my shoulder right now and say " but we do exist after death, our soul exists. It is written in the Gita and many more religious books."
The trouble is, I am not a religious person at all. I do not believe in heaven and hell, and life after death. People who believe in this, lead happy lives, for they know they have something to look forward to after life. But this non-believer in me, has no such options to fall back upon, and thus leads a depressed life.

Anyway, to hell with death, I do not think I can help it, so I will have to deal with it when it happens. Now to the more important question. What are we doing here, on this earth? I mean I know about the Big Bang theory and all. But WHY exactly that happened, and what was there before it, and who created the universe etc. are questions which haunt me all the time. And I feel afarid that I dont know anything. The whole questions of my existence, how and why I am here, has no reason. How the earth was created is fine, but why was it created, why is there life, and why is there death? What is the whole point of all this? I wish I knew. That would help to quell me fears and unease a lot. Again, I do not believe in God, so I cant say " Everything was created by God. We take birth, live and die because God wants it." I swear, belief in God is helpful, it explains so many things. If something good happens, God did it. If something bad happens, God did it. Believers always have God to fall back upon, and to complain, and explain everything that goes on. But again, what about a non-believer like me? How am I to explain why everthing is like it is? Living with this mystery is getting more and more difficult everyday.

I hope I am not offending believers in God. Its not that I am an Atheist. My parents are very much believers. But I have always been a non-believer. Not that I am stubborn that I do not want to believe, but that I dont believe in what anyone says till I can see it or experience it for myself. And frankly I have not been able to ascertain that God exists, so the ambiguity remains. Until some turning point in life comes, and something happens which proves to me that God exists, I woudl be more that happy to believe. And it would be a bonus if that belief would also explain all the questions I have. But until then, I am clueless.

Anyway, even if I let the question of why we are here take rest, I have another thing that bothers me. For whatever reasons the Earth was created, and life happened as we know it. And death happens because of biologically ageing bodies finally shutting down. All scientific explanation. Ok I am fine with it. So people are born, and people die, and there is nothing anyone can do about it, not even question it or figure out why, but just accept it. Done, I accept it. But my problem is, if we HAVEto be born, and we HAVE to die, then there SHOULD be a point to it all. I mean, if we are mere blips in time, miniscule creatures compared to the vast universe and the unknown, why live and die like insects? Why not live a life worth living? Even if they are dead now, people still remember Einstein, Shakespeare... or even Aristotle, Socrates or Plato. These poeple's bodies have been dead for years, centuries, but they continue to exist in this world because of the life they lived, and the difference they created.

Agar jeena marna hi hai, to keede makode ki tarah kyun jiyo? Jiyo to aisi zindagi jiyo, aise kaam karo, ki duniya hamesha yaad rakhe. Sirf aisi zindagi hi zindagi hai, warna nahi hai.

That is what I was thinking the other day. Live a life worth living. Dont just exist, and fade away. When I die, my loved ones will grieve and think of me when I am gone. But after they are gone, no one will know I ever existed. I dont want to fade away like that. I want to live forever. If not physically, then I want to live in the minds of the human race, for as long as it exists. If I can do that, then this whole thing, of being born and living and then dying, makes any sense.

But how does one do something like that? Not everyone is Einstein. But how do we know who is, and who is not? There are some poeple who have obvious talents, and do well. And there are others who dont know they have it in them, they never try, and it dies with them. Do I, Aditi Varma, have something more important to do, than eat, sleep, go to work, do household chores everyday? Maybe I do, maybe I dont. I will have to find out. And if I am capable of doing really worthwhile stuff, than exist like insects, then I will have to figure that out. If you ask me what is it that I can do which will make me immortal in the eyes of the world, and I dont have an answer. Why? Because I never have it a serious thought until recently. We all might have that 'something' in us, but we are so caught up in the daily rut of life, that we never get a chance, rather take out time, to figure it out. I seriously hope that after thinking so much, and discussing so much, I really do end up figuring out what is MY purpose of being here. And I hope after reading this long rambling post, you start thinking too.

Short Sighted!

2008-09-21T00:05:00.003+05:30

I work in sales, and travel every day, visiting stores, to check how they are doing. Everyday I see various sights, meet various people, hear various conversations... and some stay on. Such was one of the encounters I had, which I wanna share with you all.

Yesterday I was at a store, talking to my reatiler, when a family walked in. A man dressed in white safari suit, a lady (looked like his wife), in a brown salwar suit, complete with jewellery and sindoor, along with a baby girl, also dressed up for the occasion. The occasion? Probably to buy a new cell phone. Along with them was also a heavily buklt man in black sunglasses. Only after a while, when he did not remove them did I realise that he was blind.

I stood at a distance, observing the family. The little girl was running around, her daddy taking care of her. Mom was trying to keep an eye on the husband and kid, as well as look at the various models the retailer was showing them. Who was he "showing" them to? The blind man. Though I could not figure out what was the relationship of that man with the family, I did realise he was someone important. He was the one who got them here, and HE was going to buy 2 cellphones. One for himself, one for them. And he was the one taking in all information about every feature of the cell phone.

Mind you, that guy knew everything there is to know about cellphones. He was touching the dummy and figuring out every inch of teh phone with his fingers. He was asking questions incessantly, and I could see the look of surprise on the retailer's face too. "I want camera.. how many mega pixels is in this phone?" I wondered what he wanted a camera for, and immediately admonished myself for being such a bitch. So what if he cannot see, that doesnt mean he cannot buy a camera phone. He was a demanding customer, he wanted to make sure he is buying the best only. He must have spent about 1/2 hour, carefully examining all teh models before finally making his decision.

One of teh phones vost Rs. 1515. He deftly reached into his pocket, removed his wallet, took out exactly 3 500 rupee notes, touched them to make sure that they were right. From another pocket he took out a ten rupee note and a 5 rupee coin, again confirming with his fingers that they were the right notes and coins. And so, without any help from his family, he confidently paid for his phone.. "Yeh lo bhaiya, mere 1515 rupaye." Impressed, the retailer pocketed teh money and handed out the bill, which the man examined again with his fingers, then he neatly folded it and put it in his pocket. And then with a smile on his face, he beckoned the rest of the family to leave. They took his hand and helped him climb the stairs, and they were gone.

Having observed this meticulous exercise of purchasing a feature-laden cellphone, ensuring every part of the phone, charger etc. is fine, and tendering exact change, all of this WITHOUT amy help from anyone, I realised that while that man was blind, it is I who was short sighted.

It is so easy for us to feel pity for physically handicapped people, without ever understanding what they go through, and most importantly, without understanding what they are capable of. Disability in itself is a dergatory term... In my experience, these people are anything but disabled! They might not possess some things we take for granted, like eyesight or a limb, but DISABLED they certainly are not. Do not assume they are incapable of taking care of themselves. Everyone deserves a life of dignity. Let us give them that. Not pity or sympathy.

Finally, It was Delhi's turn...

2008-09-13T23:35:00.003+05:30

I was happily watching "Journey to the centre of the Earth" with 3 D goggles on my face, in a suburban theatre with Rohit, when I got the sms from my brother.. "Serial bomb blasts in Delhi. Fuck."

Short and simple, yet conveying the terror and grief that engulfed me in that moment. My mother was calling me a few minutes before I saw the sms, and I thought I'll call her later. How I regretted my decision at that time. As if God answered my prayers, right that moment the movie had its interval and I rushed out to speak to my family. Network was jammed so I could not talk immediately, but ultimately I did, and I am relieved to know all in my family are OK. I quickly smsed all my friends. Some had not even heard of the blast yet! Thankfully all those I know, they and their families are OK.

But that still doesn't mean all is OK. It pains me to think about those families who did not escape unhurt. Who suffered injuries or death. Who died for nothing. Innocent people and children, paying with their lives, for someone else's whims or frustrations.

Who is to blame? I tried to blame the Delhi Police. After all, did they not know that Delhi was the most obvious target after so many cities? Did they learn nothing from all the previous blasts? Delhi blasts happened in the most populous markets ... GK, CP...How could the perpetrators get away, yet again?

But then I realised, there is no point in blaming anyone. I guess it is unfair to expect anyone to control such a huge population with the available resources.

But that doesn't change the fact that many people have suffered today, like so many in the past, and I dread to think about, like many in the future. I am not a pessimist, but there really seems like there is no end to this madness. Madness it really is... what are these people trying to achieve, or trying to prove, by killing thousands of innocent people, I fail to understand.

I am not biased against any particular culture or religion, but fact is that most terrorist activities stem from fanatic religious beliefs. And such incidents make me hate the whole concept of religion. If this is what following a religion means... to kill innocent people, then thank you so much I am not interested, I am happy being the atheist I am. I shudder to think which city will be targetted next...

Anyway, my prayers are there with those who have suffered today, my heart aches for them all. I really hope this madness comes to an end, that someone puts some sense into these people's minds. But I guess expecting something like this is expecting utopia. Nevertheless I sincerely hope such crimes against humanity come to an end, and we can find other ways to sort out our differences.

They say Mumbai's next. I dunno how to react. People tell me to be careful. But how to be careful? I work in Sales, I need to travel by train, to save time and money. Most of my stores are in malls. Trains and malls are favourite targets for terrorists. But what to do? I cannot sit at home to protect myself, all my life! I don't wanna die prematurely, but I cant stop working either. People say that after the blasts, Mumbaikars get back to their lives immediately. Some say that's the spirit of the city, while some call it apathy. I think its just a lack of alternative. Bomb blasts or not, life goes on, and we have to move on. And we do. There is no choice here.
So even though I admit I am scared for my life living in Mumbai, I will continue to live my life to the fullest... I guess there is no better way to face death, than with a full life!

Oops! We are alive today!

2008-09-11T20:59:00.005+05:30

I guess by now most of us have read about the experiment conducted at CERN on 10th September 2008: The Large Hadron Collider, underneath the Franco-Swiss border. For those who neither read papers or watch news too much (like me), you can find detailed information at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider

Now of what I heard, over 60 Indian scientists are there at CERN, an active part of the experiment. An equally large number of scientists have worked on the software and hardware required. It is indeed a moment of great pride whenever I hear of our fellow Indians doing so well in all fields of work, and making all of us proud.

And then there are those who don't make me feel proud. While a sizeable chunk of our brainiest people were helping setup the experiment, which I believe will help do a lot of good to mankind (read cancer cure, lowering pollution and global warming etc.), there are other fellow Indians who have seized the opportunity to give their vishesh tippani.... By claiming that this experiment will end the world and all of us will cease to live as on 11th Septmeber. It is 9/11 attack of its own kind.

As usual the news channels had a party with such a situation. Every Hindi News channel showcased the grief of people, emanating from the fear of being dead by the end of the day. They did not spare even little kids, who were clearly looking terrified at the thought of the world coming to a sudden end. I am pretty sure people have filled each other's minds with ideas like "It is your sins which have lead you to die a terrible death like this, the world coming to an end is all your fault..." And what is saddest is that the media is enjoying its moment of glory at the cost of other people's misery. We expect them to be educated and aware of the situation, to know the facts and tell people there is no danger arising from this experiment to mankind now or in the future. Thousands of scientists around the world have confirmed it is a harmless activity, in fact it will be one of the biggest achievements in the history of man, and solve eternal questions, for which man has spent centuries looking for an answer. Surely such a multitude of wise people would not take lightly the effects of such an experiments, especially if there were ill effects. Dont we trust these poeople to think for mankind, and not take rash decisions justto fulfil some whims? I guess many of us dont, and hence all the circus around this experiment, which has just begun.

I wonder what will happen when something concrete does arise out of this activity. But until then, all you astrologers and gurus, with your ominous predictions about the future of the world (which no one knows except you), just sit back and relax... The time has not come... yet!

The pleasures of bargaining!

2008-08-19T15:50:00.004+05:30

Last weekend I went grocery shopping to Spencer's. After buying a week's worth of rations and veggies, I realised we were still short of potatoes and tomatoes, staple food items at our place. So on my way back, I stopped at the local sabziwalla to check out his produce.

Now there are 2 reasons why I do not buy from the local sabziwalla usually.

1. I feel supermarkets buy good and hygenic foodstuff, while the local guy's veggies are dirty and rotten many times.
2. Supermarkets are able to give a larger variety at a better price usually, thanks to bulk purchase.

But at times when the supermarts are out of something, I have no way out, but to go to the local guy. Now at the supermarket, one cannot bargain. I dont usually bargain with the sabziwalla either, cuz I think "What does a few rupees here or there matter to me?" But this time, after being looted last time by paying 5 bucks for a measly little bunch of coriander, I was ready for some mandavli. I took out all the change I had in my wallet (Rs. 14.50), and marched down to the sabziwalla. I chose 1/2 kg each of tomatoes and potatoes, and after paying 12 bucks for them, I was eyeing some lemons. He was selling them at Re 1 apiece. Not only did I make him give me 3 lemons, I also took a handful of good green chillies for free!

And then I walked home, with my head held high, for I managed to weasel out 50p and 5 free chillies from the sabzi guy. Serves him right for giving me the rotten coriander for 5 bucks!! :)

Corridor of Life

2008-08-16T21:09:00.003+05:30

This is an idea I have had in my mind for months. In fact it was born in one of the boring classes of 6th term at IIMA, where I was trying to keep myself busy to stay awake, and ended up with a rough sketch of my concept of "Life is like a Corridor!" Read on!

Life is like a long corridor full of doors. What lies behind the doors is... life as we know it.

There are doors of relationships, that you enter when you enter relationships. Some doors you open automatically, for relationships you enter automatically, like when you are born, you are a son or daughter. Some doors open up only at certain times, like doors for mothers or fathers. Some doors may not open for someone at all, like door of husband or wife, or sibling.

There are doors of age, of your being. Like when you are born, you enter the door of childhood. But soon you exit it and enter the door to youth. And then middle age, and if you are lucky, old age! These doors are enterd chronologically, and once exited, cannot be visited again. However, doors like those of marriage, parenthood etc can be visited again and again!

There are doors of events, namely birth, marriage and death. Some doors one has to enter, like birth or death; while other doors are optional, like the door of marriage or love or even parenthood.

There are doors of experience, like the door you enter when you first experience making love. Doors which lead you to violence. Doors which lead you to ecstacy. Doors for both good and bad, good and evil, happiness and sadness. These are doors which all of us enter at some point in life, some of us enter more then others. Some get out, some stay behind. Sometimes we enter of our own free will, sometimes someone leads us to it. We can enter multiple doors at the same time, like being in different places at the same time. That is, having many emtions, experiences, and situations at the same time.

The corridor starts with the door of birth, which you may only exit, to move on in life, but you cant enter again in that lifetime. The corridor finishes with the last door of death. Wherever we are, when time comes we need to enter this door, and we cannot exit it. There may be times in life when we are unable to exit the door of birth, and exit staright to death, like an abortion or miscarriage or still - born situation. And sometimes we visit teh door of death, but not quite enter it, when we have near death experiences.

Having said about all the doors, I believe onec the death door is entered, there is no going back. However, some people have the faith that the death door connects to the birth door, it takes time to reach there, but you do. And for some, there is a door beyond death - Nirvana.

I dont know how well I have been able to elucidate my idea, if I have made any sense to you. As far as I am concerned, I have been through many doors, and waiting for many of them to enter. Of course there are doors I would like to enter, but will have to. And I will, when time comes.

While we are at it... can I tell you one more??

2008-06-05T18:00:00.000+05:30

This was about a year ago when I was on my way to Delhi from Mumbai. Was travelling alone, decided to fly. Was sitting at the airport, when a huge African man came and sat next to me.

For quite some time he was busy on his laptop. And I was busy reading the newspaper. Typically I am a person who is ery fond of interacting with people from differentcultures, especially foreigners. But this guy looked so formidable, I kept my distance. I had no previous experience in interacting with Africans.

Then suddenly this guy turned to look at me and said Hi. I greeted him back. And then, you guessed it right, the weird conversation started.

WG: Hello
Me: hi!
WG: I am xyz (it was a very very weird name, something I could not pronounce, and I dont remember now!)
Me: I am Aditi.
WG: So where r u going?
Me: Im off to Delhi.
WG: oh (with a disappointed look) im going to bangalore.
Me: ok..
WG: So what do you do?
Me: I am a student, just graduated from MBA school, about to start working.
WG: ok where did you study?
Me: In Ahmedabad.
WG: I go there for work. I am from xyz (i do not remember which country he was from in Africa..) I come to India frequently for work. Every month. We deal in tiles and cement work etc. There are many companies in Gujarat with whom we work.
Me: ok thats nice.
(For some reason he gave me the creeps, so I started to feel uncomfortable... trying to smile while looking out for another empty seat..)
WG:Hmmm.... So.. Aditi... are you married?
Me: (I was right! What a jerk!) What? N... no.. Im not... Uh... Why? (I was taken aback, a little embarassed and worried where the hell such a question come from?)
WG: Just like that (with a grin... a nasty grin at that!)...
So why dont you give me your number?
Me: Uh I dont have a mumbai number...
WG: then take down my number... why dont u give me a call when you are back? We should meet up....
(I just did not know what to do. I just took his no. And suddenly, thank god, they announced the departure of his flight!)
WG: Oh I have to go... Seeya Aditi!! (Wink and smile)
Me: (looking shocked! but happy to see him go) Bye!

Gosh! I felt so weird! I am sure that if that guy had tried to shake hands or somethin I would have shouted for security... that guy had me freaked out!!
I am not someone who usually has prejudices about how people from a certain culture behave. In fact I have usually seen foreigner tourists as warm and friendly, and much more open about chatting up all kinds of people without hangups.
But frankly this guy's behaviour... the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice, was definitely inappropriate. This experience will now make me think twice before I talk to a single foreigner guy again!

What? Is it like "Meet the creep" month or somethin??

2008-06-05T09:37:00.000+05:30

Close to the experience I mentioned in the last post, I had a brush with another weirdo while travelling in Mumbai. (Mental note to self: Must check on my "weirdo attractor".)

I had been doing store visits on the central railway line in Mumbai. Finally ended a long day, travelling all the way from Malad to Thane. Was walking towards the platform, when one guy ( Middle aged, well dressed, with a briefcase in hand, well spoken) walking next to me asked me "Excuse me madam, do you know where XYZ college is?"
I nodded, "No, I have no clue." He added, "Oh, ok. What about college ABC?" I said, "I do not belong to this area. I dont know anything."

Weird Guy (WG): Oh ok. You see, I take interviews for campus recruitments, and I wanted to visit these colleges for the same.
Me: ok.
WG: Waise are you working or a student?
Me: I am working.
WG: ok. I thought you were a student, That's why I asked you. Where do you work?
Me: I work with Airtel.
WG: Ok. Are you an MBA??
ME: Yeah
WG: from where?
Me: from IIMA.
WG: oh that's great. Even I will be going to IIMCal for interviews.
Me: (with mock enthu) Great!
(Although the guy looks decent, his chipku behaviour is pissing me off. All this while I am trying to walk away as fast as possible, but the crowd around me does not let me lose this guy. He keeps up and continues).
WG: So how much experience do you have?
Me: 1 year with Airtel.
WG: And before that?
Me: Nothin substatial before it.
WG: By the way my name is so-n-so, I work for XYZ company. We are into blah blah blah...."
(I was not even listening to him, I dont remember what he said, I was not even looking at him. But you think that made him stop?)
WG: So what is your name?
Me: I am Aditi. (It just did not strike me to give a random name.)
WG: ok Aditi. So what did you do before MBA?
ME: I did Business Economics from Delhi University.
(By that time we had reached teh platform.)
WG: So you wanna sit and talk for a while?
(Now this is where I became very uncomfortable. I somehow managed to say...)
Me: No I am in a hurry to get back home, it's getting late. I've to go.
(Phew! there! Its over now! Go!)
WG: Where are you going?
Me: Im going to sion station. (Should I have lied?)
WG: Where do you live?
Me: Bandra. (I should have lied!!)
WG: Ok I live in santacruz. Seems like we are taking the same train. How about we sit together and discuss.
Me: (Exasperated, but still not aggressive/rude enough): I am sorry but I will be travelling by the ladies coach. So I am going that side now. Bye.
(Take that you creep... thank god you cannot follow me to the ladies compartment!!)
WG: (crestfallen) Ok, then let us meet at Sion station, we will catch up there for a few minutes and then we can leave.
Me: Sure. Bye.

And with that, without bothering to get a reply, or looking back, I turned and walked towards the ladies compartment area. I boarded the train, kept worrying about meeting up that guy at Sion station. Sure it was possible to lose him in all teh crowd... maybe I would be lucky to be able to miss bumping into him. But what if .... Forget it, I am never lucky!!

And so I got down at one station before Bandra. Sure it took me a little longer (and more money) to get back home, I was relieved I did not have to meet that guy again. I just did not have the courage to tell hime off. Not being able to be rude to someone like this, not being able to lie and ending up revealing real facts about myself... a big weakness I have to work upon.

Mental reminder to mind: Get rid of the Weirdo Attractor.. whatever it is!!

Random conversation with a taxi driver...

2008-05-07T09:23:00.001+05:30

She was trying to hail an auto to Malad station. She came back from work and at 7:30 pm, was standing on Link Road, looking out for empty autos coming her way. She was standing there till almost 8 o'clock, but no auto-wala was ready to take her to the station.

"These bloody auto walas... one day I will complain to the authorities... what do they think of themselves??"

But she waited and waited and waited. One by one, autos came, asked her destination, nodded disapproval, and rode on. One by one, people around her got rides, till she was the only on left on the road. Rejected, she contemplated giving up and going back home, when she saw a cab.

"Taxi hi sahi... thode extra paise lagenge, but there is a higher chance of getting a ride..."

She waved to the taxiwala, who imediately stopped, and without asking her destination, opened the door with a smile and beckoned her to get in. With a sigh of relief, she sat in the cab and shut the door, and with it, the noisy world outside.

And immediately on an impulse she blurted out "Thanks god bhaiya aap ruk gaye, else I would keep standing forever! I have been waiting for over half an hour now... not a single auto wala wants to go to Malad station. Its so unfair!!"

And he replied "Yes maam, I looked at you and I knew you had been waiting for long. The tired and dejected look on your face... I had to stop and take you wherever you want to go.."

She was grateful... aakhir aajkal aise log kahan milte hain??
"Thank you bhaiya! After a long day at work, I am so tired. Standing on the road waiting..."

"I understand Madam... waise where do you work?"

"Umm.. I am with Airtel."

"Oh Airtel! Even I have Airtel only. 2 connections.."
And he proudly pulled out 2 cellphones out of his front pocket.

"Achchha achchha..." She nodded politely and rested her head on the top of the seat, and closed her eyes for a moment, hoping he doesn't start off with complaints about Airtel. She had had enough during the day at office! Thankfully he did not! He peppily talked about his connections and his calls to all his khandaan, and then started drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to the tune of some song unknown to her.

"Waise madam my name is Ram, and this is my number. Do call me whenever you need to go to the Airport or something. Just call me anytime and Ill be there. There is a couple in your building only who often call me when they need a taxi. Very nice people. South Indians."

With that he rattled off 2 numbers and asked her to save them on her cell. He wanted her number but she refused, saying she will call him. He ensured she saved them... he looked back and patiently dictated the information, and she had no choice but to save them on her phone.

The cab snaked its way thru the tiny gullies which lead to Malad station. She sat there, looking at the streets and the grimy children running around, the throngs of people milling about, the lights and sounds and things all around.

Those days the hottest topic of conversation in all of Mumbai were the anti-North Indian remarks of Raj Thakeray, which led to violence in some parts of the city, especially damaging and burning of taxis and beating up their drivers.

She was thinking about the same, when suddenly out of a whim she asked him "Bhaiya, did you have to face any violence because of all this marathi manoos campaign?"

"No madam, my gaadi is from this area only, the riots were in Dadar area. Anyway thanks to god I have been spared any such violence."

"Waise aap kahan se hain?"

"Hum UP se hain!"

"Achchha.... main bhi UP se hoon.. I mean parents and all wahan se hain, but I have lived all my life in Delhi"

"Woh to madam I heard your sweet voice and language and I knew you had to be from UP".

She smiled, not knowing how else to react.

And he continued.

"Waise hum UP se hain, but I gt married to a Marathi woman. You know that jewellery store on S.V. Road? Well I used to work there, and she also joined. We fell in love and though our parents did not agree, we got married. You see I am a brahmin, and she is not. Now we have a son too..."

"Hmmm..."

She politely nodded towards him, hoping the conversation comes to an end, when he piped up..

"Waise madam how come you are in Mumbai?"

"I got a job here."

"Oh ok, yeah most people come here because of job. Me too."

"Hmmm.."

"So do you like Mumbai??

"Yeah I do. I love the life and spirit of Mumbai. Although travelling is a nightmare, I enjoy travelling in local trains and and glad everyone here goes by meter, even the short distances, mostly. And what I love the most is that women are a lot safer here than in Delhi."

"Yes maam that is true. But you know madam there are 'that type' of people here too. They do not respect women. But then what to do... there are 'bad character women' also na. The foreigners always ask for them, they are usually available in Bandra."

She stared at him in bewilderment... Why was he talking about all this? Anyway..

"And madam, there was this foreigner once who took me to bandra and asked me to get a girl for him. I met this woman, who said her 'budget' was Rs. 10000. I told her I will get her more. I told the guy the price was 20000. He agreed. I dont know why though... she was not even that beauiful, compared to you she was not..."

This statement kinda made her feel weird, but she had no option than to let him finish...

"And then that woman gave me 8000 rupees for getting her a client!"

She had reached Malad station but she needed to get to the other end. And on the way were streets littered with a million sabziwalas and a billion people standing around examining the vegetables and fruits with disdain and haggling angrily with the vendors.

'Oh damn... reaching the mall will take me another 5 minutes... which means another 5 minutes of this bizarre conversation!! God save me!'

She was the kind of girl who could not ask the driver to shut up, she was far too polite to behave like that. Though she knew that soon, if things dont improve, she will have to resort to that kind of behaviour. She hoped she did not have to to.

"Wow" she said, in a bored tone, hoping he gets the hint. He did not.

"Waise madam, how old are you? I mean you look young, but I think you are about 24 or so.."

"Ummm.. yeah whatever. Something like that. Though people think I am a mother of 3 kids.."

" No way, you are far too young and pretty.. with a clear and fair skin like yours, how can someone say that?? You are married?"

'What is it to you?' she thought. She was glad they had reached the other end of the station.

"No I am engaged to be married. Anyway just stop here I need to get out..."
She thought mentioning her engagement will shut him up. It did not.

"Waise madam, do you work on saturdays and sundays as well?"

This question intrigued her... As she started to get out, she answered "No, why?"

"I was thinking, maybe this weekend I could take you out to the movies at Inorbit Mall..."

This was too much!! Asking her out for a movie? How could he, even so after telling her about his wife and son??

"I am sorry I cannot go out anywhere. Now if you would kindly tell me how much is the fare I would like to pay and leave, I am getting late."

This abrupt turn in the conversation did nothing to faze the driver. She handed out a 100 rupee note, saying she had either this or 6 rupees in coins. He told her teh fare was 30 rupees, but for her, the ride was free!

FREE RIDE!! No way... god knows whats is going on in his mind... she thought.

"Nahi bhaiya... aap please 30 rupaye le lo... mujhe free achchha nahi lagta."

"No madam I cannot take money from you, you are special, this time its free for you. Ill take money next time.

Yeah right, like there is going to be a next time... she thought to herself.

After a lot of argument, she finally succeeded in paying him 6 rupees, and rushed out of the cab and ran towards the mall., never once looking back for the fear of the taxi wala saying something more... She had had enough for the day.

She went inside and ran to the shop she wanted to go to... and only when she was alone did she relax. She shopped and when she was done, she peeped outside, happy to see there was no taxi in sight. She quickly hailed an auto, hoping he doesnt turn up again to try to drop her back or anything. And finally she got home, and the first thing she did was erase the entry from her contact list called "Ram taxi driver".

No, I've not been to Goa!

2008-04-25T22:09:00.000+05:30

Last week I was told by my boss that I have to attend a Sales and Marketing Convention orgnised by the company.... in Goa! I have never visited Goa, though I have been dying to go for ages, so this news had me staring at him, dumbfounded with happiness, shaking his hand, barely listening to him giving out other details of the convention... I WAS FINALLY GOING TO GOA! That too company paid travel and hotel stay! A Free Trip! Can something be better than this?

Well to tell you the truth, a lot has been better than this.

I was so excited last Thursday, packing my stuff, taking clothes and accessories 'one requires at the beach!' I told my family, and they were so happy for me. Told my best friends, and they were jealous! Bragged about it to Rohit also, who had gone for a similar business convention to Goa last year only, without me ofcourse. I was on the top of the world, and I was all gung-ho when I reached the station that night.

And that is when it started. I came to know that we were boarding an unscheduled train to Goa. Which means no water or food or facilities provided during the journey, which itself is unpredictable, as unscheduled trains have no fixed timings, since other trains are given priority at signals. We boarded, not sure when we will reach Goa.

We woke up early Friday morning when some vendors came in selling breakfast. We managed to eat something in the morning, after being hungry all night, barely surviving on the few bottles of water and packets of chips we managed to buy from some station. We arrived in Goa 2 hours late, and in the scorching heat, made our way to the hotel in a thankfully AC bus. When we reached the hotel, more disappointment was to follow.

The hotel was recently taken over, the staff was on strike. The rooms were unkempt and stuffy and smelly, the AC did not work in our room, the plumbing was disastrous, there was no water provided, and forget about the toiletries and snacks freebies. An unresponsive room service, and PATHETIC FOOD, ruined our afternoon. Tired from the long journey and unrelenting heat, we slept till evening, when we went out and roamed around on a boring and empty beach in one corner of south Goa, which might as well have been any beach in Mumbai... you would not know the difference. It just did not FEEL like Goa.

After a terrible dinner that night, we woke up early Saturday morning to a worst breakfast, and managed to start the convention by 9 am. While the presentations and activities planned were interesting and gave lots of learning, the experience was a disaster. 200 people crammed in a hall, where the ACs were not working, and for 8 hours, we sat there, breaking only for an unexciting lunch, in the sweltering heat with not even cold water available to drink. We could not be gladder when the convention ended, halfway through people had lost all interest thanks to the insufferable environment.

That evening was the only silver lining in the otherwise dark cloud, when the hotel had prepared some entertainment. We were all given sea shell necklaces and straw hats, a face painter and a music band provided some entertainment. We retired late after a forgettable dinner, and Sunday afternoon, we were chucked out without being given lunch. Hungry and hot, we reached the railway station only to realise the train has been delayed. We finally had food in the railway station restaurant, which actually served worse food than the hotel, which I did not think was possible. After forcing ourselves to eat to stay alive, we sat in the sweltering heat for 5 hours before the train arrived, and again ran around every stop, trying to buy dinner.

None of us could be happier when we reached home on Monday afternoon, tired and hot and hungry. It was one of the worst trips ever, be it the travel arrangements, the hotel facilities or the weather. I appreciate my colleagues from HR, they tried hard to make the trip work, but frankly none of us were sad to end the disastrous trip.

And thus, since i did not experience the fun, the sun, the sands, the festivities, the awesome hotels, the food, the firangis, the feni, the ferry rides, the booze, the markets, the water sports etc., just like everything they did in Dil Chahta Hai, I still consider myself as someone who has NEVER been to Goa. Better think this way, than have the worst trip be the memory of my first trip to Magical Goa! I hope I get to go to Goa soon, and have a completely different and truly memorable experience!

Eeekkksss!!!!!

2008-04-02T21:56:00.000+05:30

Last evening I found a huge horrible lizard in the loo, and ever since that discovery, I refused to go, until the maid came in the morning and confirmed the loo is lizard free. Although I locked up the slimy creature in the loo, I could hardly sleep all night for the fear it will somehow escape and run towards me! I got up in the middle of the night, shut every door and window to stop any lizards from coming. Not that an army was waiting to enter my room, but I always feel that all the lizards are out to get me whenever I see one.

I hate these reptilian monsters... Yeah you are damn right they are like monsters to me. Though you can make me watch as many Nat Geo series on reptiles, if I see one in front of me, I am either repulsed or scared out of my wits. God only knows why he made such creatures, like lizards and cockroaches and frogs. (I know there is a scientific reason for the existence of every creature, the food chain etc etc... as you know this is a rhetoric question, just a crib!)

Speaking of frogs, they are pretty harmless and not so ugly looking but they still freaked me out. At the IIMA campus, my room was next to a small bog which filled with water during monsoons, and as you can imagine, became a haven for these ribbitting creatures. Paro, my neighbour, would remember the umpteen number of times we girls living in the basement floor chucked out frogs out of our rooms. Rather Paro chucked them out for us. She was our knight in shining armour... rescuing us from the ambush of roaches and lizards and croaky toads, without a hint of fear on her face.

I must admit it was only after I started staying at my dorm in IIMA that I managed to be somehow tolerable of these creatures, especially lizards, who coexisted with us in our bedrroms and bathrooms peacefully. I am kinda intolerant of them now as I sleep on the floor, and I dream of these creatures crawling all over me. It has happened a few times with me at home. Whenever I sleep in my parents' room when guests are sleeping in mine, I sleep on the mattress on the floor, and invariably im woken up by a cockroach climbing up my leg.. Eeeeks!

Back at home I always had my doggie Tiffany, who loved to hunt those unfortunate lizards who dared to leave the security of high walls and crawl on the floors. I mean seriously, night or day, anytime you say "chhipkali" and Tiffany would rise and run around the house, scanning the walls for any sign of these disgusting things, and if she managed to find one on the floor, the poor thing was killed in a matter of seconds. Mind you my dog was very intelligent. She really understood the meaning of words. Like when u said chhipkali she looked at the walls, when you said chuha she scanned the floor's nooks and crannies, and when you said kabootar, she would look outside the window and scare them away with her barking! She also knew doggie, billi, bhains (she really hated buffalos, would bark her head off at them, but did not care much for cows... maybe she was racist?) But Tiffany was a brave dog. She killed more than half a dozen lizards, and more than a dozen mice in her lifetime. However there was only one skeleton in her closet - she used to get smacked by cats on her nose... even kittens. Cats were her nemesis, and no matter how much she pretended to scare them to impress us, we all knew in hearts of our hearts that Tiffany is no match for a cat. Any cat.

Anyway back to lizards... I dont know why I am scared of them so much. I guess it runs in my family. I remember, about 15 years or so ago, when all of us cousins used to visit grandparents in Calcutta. I remember that day when all my cousins and aunts were in his room, playing scrabble and chatting away at night, when suddenly my cousin shrieked... there was a lizard in the room! Everyone started to scramble, while we little kids all aged 6 and below, were quite unsure of what was happening. My elder sisters and aunts, all cowards, ran to the other corner of the room, huddled together, shivering with fear. And then, the heroine rose to the occasion. Rather she was forced to. They gave a a long jhaadu and made me stand on the corner of the bed next to the lizard and shoo it out of the room. Can you imagine? In a room full of adult women, a small 6 year old girl was shooing away the lizard!! I certainly felt important and brave that time, but not so much right now. I guess even I am turning into a scaredy cat when it comes to reptiles and insects. The only creatures I am not afraid of are ticks.. I used to search my doggie's coat for ticks all the time and they are teh only insects I have been able to hold and kill. Otherwise even the smallest of these things makes me cry out loud!

Anyway I think I have rambled on enough for this random post, will rush to get ready for office now, please pray for me that the lizard is not waiting for me in a corner in there, poised to attack me! Cuz of all the people in the world, I don't want to become lucky by having a lizard fall on my head or anywhere else for that matter!

Hyper over Hyper Marts!!

2008-03-23T12:03:00.000+05:30

I still remember the first time I entered HyperCity in Mumbai. It was my first day in the city and Rohit was showing me places where I could shop in Malad. It was the largest and the most comprehensive shopping mart I had ever seen. As you can probably understand from the pictures above, this place is HUGE and it stocks things from every nook and cranny of the world!

There is everything available that you might need, there is unmatched variety and quantity. Prices, though premium, are worth it. Everything is so well organised and packed... It feels like I am not in India but in some fancy hypermart abroad!

But while it is the largest hypermart in the country with goods and services satisfying almost all our requirements under one roof, it still misses the utility and charm of the nukkad grocery store.

Hypercity services the elite, and sometimes forgets to stock simpler goods and grands, like good ol' Charmis cream. It stocks state of the art age miracle and skin lightening creams, each costing minimum 300 for a little bottle, and of no use for someone like me.
It also does not give me the freedom to take a few leaves of dhaniya or kadi patta.. I have to buy the whole bunch or nothing.
The prices are HIGH... and there is no scope for haggling too!!
And it always takes me a lot of time to get the billing done. Not like your neighborhood store where you get instant and personalised attention and service..

So, great job done, with the immense space and variety and quantity, but let me tell you, this huge giant misses the little things that we love about our little stores and vegetable carts... Dont get me wrong, I think Hypercity is a great idea and a big help, but sometimes, even with its size, it fails to match up to our kirana stores... sounds unbelievable, but true. Isnt it?

Some new books and movies...

2008-03-23T01:20:00.000+05:30

Hey there people!

Been busy with life, so did not post, though I have many drafts waiting to be finished.
But just to fill you in on a few books and movies I came across in the past 2 weeks..

The life of others - a german oscar winning movie - watched it alone on the theatre.. worth every penny you pay. great movie, story, acting... must watch.

4 months, 3 weeks, 2 days - a romanian movie on illegal abortions in late 1980's in romania. lots of hype about the title and story but an utter and complete disappointment. Dont bother watching, its a complete waste of time and money.

10000 BC: ok movie... historical facts are screwed, acting aint too great... but theek hai... not bad. but dont waste money on a theatre... watch it on DVD.

Th Appeal - book by John Grisham - on crossword bestselling list. His usual legal thriller, but not his best. Well worth the read though, for his fans.

The Japanese Wife - book by Kunal Basu - I had never heard of this guy till I saw the book on the bestseller list of crossword. its a compendium of 12 short stories, the first of which is Japanese wife. This one is also made into a movie by Aparna Sen. However, I was kind of disappointed by the writing style. the stories did not convince me, and i left the book in the middle. not worth the 400 bucks I spent on it.

Th girls of Riyadh - a book by Rajaa Alsanea - Now this was a book I really liked... a refreshingly new style of writing, I read the book almost nonstop. Very well written, gives great insight into the Saudi society... something I dint have much idea about. A must read, though I think it would appeal more to women than men, as it is narration of lives of four women friends.. a look at the society through the eyes of women.

I have many more things to share with you, will write LOTS of posts soon!!
Till then, take care!

Me Mumbaikar.. or not?

2008-03-05T23:13:00.000+05:30

I know its a little too late to be writing about this, but as they say, better late than never.

I know this statement is a little drastic, but I do feel 'disappointed' in Mumbai. The city of dreams, where everyone has a real chance of not just surviving but flourishing. The magical city with the sparkling seas, the lively night life, the hustle-bustle of millions of people, the city which is full of life! The city which gave me a house, a job, a life, and made me its own. The same city which took just a second to make me feel like an unwanted outsider.

They say that immigrants ruin the city. They don't follow rules, they encroach upon land, they dirty the town. While I agree that the poor people who come without a place to live or a job to feed themselves, end up cluttering the city, usurping land and sanitation etc. But it is not just a Bihari or a UPite who would do that: any poor person who migrates to Mumbai will do that.

Sure they break traffic rules in Delhi, sure the law and order is not so great in Bihar, sure there are riots in UP. But that's there, not here. When people come here, they all mould themselves along the fabric of Mumbai! Initially there might be settling down pains, but sooner or later we all merge in! I know I did!

But it was appalling to see that 100% of the readers of a leading English daily newspaper opined that ALL NORTH INDIANS flout law and should be thrown out of Mumbai. I think its not the region of the person but the education or economic status which reflects in his behaviour.

I have not encroached any land, I do not flout traffic laws, I don't board trains or buses out of line, I do not dirty the streets. It is the poor and illiterate people who do that, and they could be from any where in the country! Are you trying to tell me that a poor South Indian with nothing, comes to Mumbai and lives in a legal shanty, knows all the rules, and never throws a scrap on the road? Are you trying to tell me that the Marathi Manoos is 'doodh ka dhula' perfect and clean? That it is a genetic problem with a North Indian? I am sorry I do not agree.

I know this all is the work of politicians who have nothing better to do, but what I do not like is the anti-social effect it has on the minds of the people in the city. I now many people who felt ostracised in south Indian cities, and stuck to their own peers, never mingling with the South Indians in the big software companies in Bangalore, as they were not "liked" much. Ditto for the Non-south Indians who dare to settle down in Chennai: almost everyone is fleeced by the Auto-walas, and is forced to not be able communicate as people there refuse to understand Hindi even if they do.

Cmon people, every one loves their city, and dislikes those who ruin it. But lets not make it a matter of national integration by pointing fingers at communities. Have we learnt nothing from our bloody past? Do we not know yet that we are first an Indian and then a Bihari or a Marathi? We should all take responsibility for the upkeep of our cities, as an Indian. I should be equally concerned with keeping Delhi as clean as I would keep Kolkata if am a Bengali. Why should there be a difference at all?? After all, if Delhi is my Janma Bhoomi, Mumbai is my Karma Bhoomi, and I am grateful to it for everything it has given to me. And I will do everything it takes to respect it and take care of it. And I think most people feel the same way.

Except for those of us who really do not care about rules and the environment. They will do as they please, wherever they are. So instead of pointing fingers at their region, lets do something about the problem. Like remove all illegal constructions. Let the people find a legal place to live. If they find one, good for everyone. If they don't, they will go back! Same goes for jobs and education. The only criteria should be merit. If you have it, you get the seat/post. Not because you are a Marathi or a UPite. Those who deserve the jobs/seats will stay, those who don't will leave! Traffic rules being flouted? I think the 'mamas' are doing a great job of taking care of that. Those who break the law, get fined. They get fined till they improve. Even if they dont, they at least pay! Same for people not respecting lines... Cmon Mumbai, you know you do not let a person enter a line from anywhere... even if someone does it, none of us allow him to right? We are Mumbaikars, proud of our city, and very well armed to take care of it too. So why complain and fight on stupid grounds with our fellow Indians? You got a problem, solve it. Work towards finding a solution. Its possible.

You would wonder why I care to write all this, as I am not suffering. Well I am. I feel bad that my community is being generalised. Its not fair. I feel bad when the auto wala gets hit by the mumbaiite's car, its the car's fault, his auto is ruined while nothing happens to the car, and he still gets 2 slaps and lots of gaalis for being a 'north Indian' and he is told to get lost; I feel scared that the kind of treatment north Indians sometimes get in south India, it will start happening here too. I feel guilty, amongst the Mumbaikars, while I walk the streets with them, guilty for things I have not even done, for I can see the silent anger in their eyes for all those who are not originally from here.

THROWING OUT ALL NORTH INDIANS FROM MUMBAI IS NOT THE SOLUTION. tomorrow someone will have a problem with the Marwaris.. without them do you think businesses will flourish? Gujaratis, without them there is no Stock exchange or Diamond Market. Remember, it is all of us together who make Mumbai what it is. Each of us have a role to play. We cant do without any community. We all have to learn to live in peace and work out problems instead of wasting time in pacing blames. We have to know the hidden agendas of politics and not be swayed by it. That's what I think the city is all about. Being truly united in its diversity. That's how I have always seen it, that's how I hope it will always be.

Cmon Mumbai, give me a reason to say 'Mi Mumbaikar" and be proud of it!

As for Jab We Met...

2008-03-05T21:51:00.000+05:30

Listen up everyone, I just want to make clear that I have not seen Jab We Met. I know it is a great film, I know everyone has acted really well, I know the music is great. But I still have not watched the movie, nor do I ever intend to deliberately. Dont get me wrong, I do like some songs, and the story does not seem bad at all, and Shahid is a cutie... but for the LOVE OF GOD I CANNOT STAND KAREENA!! I HATE HER! I know she is perfect for that role, but its that kind of character that I hate! Like Kajol in Kabhi khushi kabhi gham.... non-stop blabbering at high pitch voice - its intolerable! I know in spite of Kareena and her horrible acting and the irritating character you all loved the movie... Heck some of the most serious and non-JWM kinda people have also seen the movie and loved it, which surprised me. But anyway to each his own. So folks, I just want you to know that there is nothing on this earth that can make me watch that wretched woman, and hence the movie, so quit telling me that its a great movie, and I am missing everything in my life by not watching it. Frankly my dearies, I don't care a damn! I don't know what all the hullabaloo is about, and don't wanna know either. I know you mean well but let's face it: I will never be able to appreciate what you do, thanks to Kareena. So let us let Jab We Met, as well as me, rest in peace!!

Armageddon!!

2008-01-30T20:43:00.000+05:30

A couple of weeks ago I was watching television when I came across the news that an asteroid is posing possible collision danger to the earth. The asteroid was passing by around 27th January, and was thought to be a danger, till research confirmed that it will just pass by very closely, but not collide. Another asteroid, which was not in the way of earth, became a cause of concern, as there were chances that it would hit Mars on January 28th, and then be deflected towards us. Thankfully even that did not happen.

Sitting there watching this on TV suddenly made me realize that life is so short. One moment you are somewhere, doing something, and the next moment… an asteroid collides with the earth and all is over in a second. I immediately called up my mother and told her that I was disturbed by these possibilities of life coming to an end just like that. I did not want to die already, abhi toh maine apni zindagi shuru hi ki hai!!

And then I realized… we really take life for granted. We all have assumed that we will live till a ripe old age, and have all the time in the world to do and say things that are important. There is no hurry. But that is not true. Life is unpredictable. You never know which day is your last. I know all this is bookish, but I really felt that it is really important to live each day to the fullest, say and do everything that your heart desires, kya pata kal ho na ho!

And since then, I have tried to do and say everything now, to not fight or keep grudges… you never know, when you fight, those words may be the last the person hears from you. I wont say that I have managed to fulfill the destiny of each day that I have lived, but I try.

I was thinking, what would I do, if I came to know that in a while, the earth will come to an end??

If I had a week, I would pool in all my savings and go for a vacation to my dream destination with my near and dear ones.

If I had a day, I would try to go to Delhi and spend the day with my family and friends.

If I had an hour, I would spend it calling all my near and dear ones to say I love you, and eat lots of my favorite food!

And if I had only a minute, I would spend it in Rohit's arms… I want that lovely feeling to be my last living memory before I say goodbye!

What would you do?

On a recommendation spree... 2!

2008-01-14T23:54:00.000+05:30

Last December I went home for the festive season. I reached Delhi on 22^nd morning, and the first thing I did was to get tickets for the first available show for Taare Zameen Par. Ever since I came to know that Aamir Khan is making a movie, I had my mind set – no matter what the movies is about, I was definitely going to see it. Aamir is one of the few actors that I admire in the film industry: his acting skills, his perfectionist attitude… I am all for it! So I took my mother along and watched the movie. Here is my two cents!

To say that I liked the movie would be an understatement. The movie was excellently made, with amazing performances by every one of the actors. It is one of the most realistic movies I have seen in a long time, the last one being Khosla ka Ghosla, where every character looked like someone in your own family. Similarly, the house, the parents, the neighbourhood, the school… everything and everyone gave me a sense of Déjà vu. A feeling of ‘been there, done that’.

As every one would know by now, it is a story about a boy suffering from learning disabilities, and his struggle with the world. It is a sensitive tale where the parent-child relationship has been well explored. The interesting thing about the movie is that even if we have never been associated with anyone with learning disabilities, we can still relate to the characters. This is because the movie doesn’t just deal with learning disabilities – it deals with a lot more.

Be it the father who has mountains of expectations from his children, or the mother who has sacrificed everything to give her children the best they can get, or the older sibling who tops his class and is trying to deal with an errant failure of a younger sibling, or the child himself – fraught with the disability, the peer pressure, struggling against everyone. Forgetting deliberately to get our papers signed, bunking school, forging absent notes, taking surprise tests which we are bound to fail… All of us can see ourselves somewhere in the movie. The movie makes us see the mirror, which is a great job done. It helps the audience to identify with the movie, and accept it.

But this is also, in my opinion, one of the drawbacks of the movie…some people do not like to be shown a mirror. The fathers who felt ashamed of being insensitive towards their children’s struggles, the mothers who could not stop their children from being reprimanded by their husbands, the older siblings who felt frustrated on not being able to understand their sibling’s failure… many people told me that they have been in these situations, and watching the movie reminded them of their actions, and they felt uncomfortable. While some people realised their mistakes, accepted their faults, and began to look at the situation from a renewed point of view; others were too ashamed or too egoistic to accept the facts, and walked out of the movie, terming it as a “bad movie”.

So while this movie may have made some people realize and reform, those who chose to ignore the glaring truth: I hope that if not now, then maybe some day in the future, they will think about whatever little part of the movie they saw; and hopefully accept the message of the movie.

Which brings me to the question: what is the message of the movie really, if at all it has one? I think the movie does have a message, and the fantastic part is that it succeeds in imparting the message without exaggerating the sentiments or being preachy. As for the message, in my humble opinion, it is not “we should be sensitive towards disabled children” which is the only message. For me, the movie is about other important issues as well, which are being faced by today’s generation.

Some of Aamir’s dialogues: “In today’s world, there is too much competition. Everyone wants toppers in their homes. 95.5%, 95.6%... anything below that is like an abuse. Medicine, engineering, management… only these career paths are acceptable, there is no success anywhere else. Every child has his or her own abilities and pace of learning. But no, the parents do not understand that, and burden the tiny shoulders with the load of their own ambitions… and if the children are unable to fulfil their dreams, then all hell breaks loose. If you want to win races, breed race horses damnit, why produce kids??”

These statements sum up one of the most difficult problem a child faces today in the Indian society – that of choosing a path of education and career. We all have our talents and abilities and vocations; but for many of us, unfortunately, our parents have already charted the course of our student life and career, just the way they know exactly who would be the best life partner for us. Dare to defy them, face the music. After all they are our parents; it is our duty to quietly submit to their every whim and fancy. Of course, not all parents are competitive or dominating, and many kids today do not care two hoots about what the world expects them to do if they have found their calling in life. But for those who neither have the guts nor the resources to chase their dream, end up killing their desires and mechanically operate as per others’ wishes. And that is the worst thing one can do to a bright young child… kill his enthusiasm, his zest, his creativity, his individuality. If only the parents could respect the wishes of the child, especially if he is a slow learner or is trying to attempt something off-the-beaten-path, this world would be a happier place for youngsters.

In addition, I think this is a great movie for kids who are actually facing learning disability problems. Hopefully the next time we get up to shout at our child who has failed yet again on his test, we will pause to think for a moment and consider the possibility of the child having a genuine problem. For this movie clearly says that it is not a matter of humiliation if your child is a slow learner. We should understand the pain of the child and help him overcome the disability: many successful people have emerged victorious in their battle with dyslexia. It can happen to anyone, and if happens to someone you know, it is not the end of the world. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery.

Alas, change is awfully slow in our society. But it is great to see that there are people who are still trying, via all media, to deliver messages to the public. There is hope. I say, if even 1% of the parents and teachers, who are the prime sculptors of our personalities and lives, can understand the movie and change their own thinking, the movie is a success. For it is not the box office earnings that are important for a movie like this, but the change in the thinking of the society at large, which is the real success factor. So I completely agree with the people when they say that this movie should be made compulsory to be watched by every parent and teacher in this country. It is not a movie just for the kids. It is a movie for all to see, enjoy, and hopefully learn from. A must see, all you people!

Just one warning – apart from the wonderfully done locations, characterisation, music and cinematography, the movie is also very touching: the “hai na maa” and “taare zameen par” songs, the boy struggling at the hostel, Aamir dealing with the boy’s problem and his parents, the climax scene… they all are real tear jerkers, so dont forget to take a pack of tissues with you. I guarantee you'll need it ;)

On a recommendation spree!!

2008-01-10T13:29:00.000+05:30

Hey there folks! Hows life treatin ya?

Well I know I have not been very active lately, but I am here to make up for it!
Here is my next update... I have seen and read and experienced a few things recently, would like to share my experiences and view with you about the same!

Book review - Half of a Yellow Sun - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

This is a novel based in the 1960's in Nigeria, when a civil war was waged, and a new state called Biafra was created, albeit only for a few years. The novel traces the life and times of the people before, during, and after the war. Though the characters are fictional, the situation is very real. The prosperity before the coup, the struggling years when Biafra was formed, and the bloody end to it all, when Biafra ceased to exist. The main characters, though fictional, are etched out in flesh so well, they are almost real. Maybe they are, for many people went through what they did during the 60's. Though the novel covers almost a decade, it details the situation and the Nigerian culture and its people well, without being boring or wordy.

Chimamanda is a young Nigerian woman, educated in USA, and has done a wonderful job with the book. Even though she was born much after the war, one can feel that she has done her home work of getting the facts correct. She has captured the experiences of her friends and family who went through the war times very well in her story. The flow of the book is smooth, it is very readable and quite unputdownable. Complex situations and emotions have been brought alive by using simple words. The story has everything: love, hatred, betrayal, violence, kindness... many a relationship has been explored in depth - mother-daughter, father-daughter, sisters, man-woman, servant-master... It is a pleasure to read about Africa, to learn about its culture and people. And somewhere, to think... this is so similar to my life, my city, my country, my people. The trials and tribulations, the way we live and eat, our joys and sorrows... you can relate to all of that and more in this book as if it were your own.

Hats off to Adichie, she deserved the award for this book. It will make many a people aware of the atrocities during war times, and help us understand and empathize with those struggling with the same today. In the past few months, I have come across many recommended books, but have not found the enchantment in them to keep me hooked on. This lady, sure is a magician, for she knows how to weave magic into words! A must read for all book lovers.

A day without my cell phone....

2008-01-10T09:16:00.000+05:30

A couple of weeks ago, Rohit forgot his cell phone at home by mistake, and asked me to keep it with me so he could get important numbers if required. It was only then I realized how cell phones have become a necessity in our lives, compared to the rare luxury they used to be. Given that I take my cell phone with me even to the loo, I wondered how my life would be if I had to spend one whole day without it!

First of all, I would not be able to wake up on time: it’s the incessant ringing of my cell phone alarm, which jolts me out of my slumber every morning. And even though I keep putting it on snooze mode for an hour, without it getting up would be unthinkable.

If it’s not the alarm, what usually wakes me up is a call, from a friend, a colleague or family member. Most mornings, I wake up and call some friends, who are on their way to office, as that’s the only time of the day that they are free to talk. Without my cell, I wont be able to get my hands on the day’s gossip!

Once I am up, every other day there is something or the other that needs to be taken care of: pending errands, ordering water or gas, etc. How on earth will I manage to get all this done if I do not have my cell?

Off to office, but unable to take calls from clients or colleagues or bosses. Lunch in the mess is not good? Cannot order a pizza. Shopping after work for groceries? Cannot call the other flat mates to know what is to be bought. Any emergencies, good news, important decisions… I am unreachable. What misfortune!! My mom would have a panic attack if she were unable to reach me within 5 minutes of trying!

It is not that people around me do not have a phone that I can use. I also have a landline at home. It’s not just the mobility that I enjoy out of my phone… it is the address book that stores all the numbers which is of the greatest importance to me. Think about it. Before we had cell phones, we mostly remembered everyone’s landline numbers. Soon after we got cells, we stopped remembering details… hey one could always store phone numbers, birthday, email addresses and much more on the cell phone! So much so that I don’t even know my brother’s cell number, without my contacts list! Such dependency, not a great idea.

I shuddered when I realized: we have become such slaves to technology. Life comes to standstill without our cell phones. I still remember those days, when cell phones were huge, bulky things, costing a fortune, and very few enviable people could afford to buy them, and maintain them at the astronomical call rates. And then, the telecom boom happened, and now, every 5^th person in India sports a cell phone! Which is good, most technological advances are good for business, people etc. But then the question is how much is good? Too much of anything is bad, right?

It’s the same old debate all over again… advances in technology, a bane or a boon? People cannot write letters anymore… when you can always send an email or SMS. Everyone is already talking about the death of English language with the advent of SMS lingo, which has started to reflect even in our exam papers! No need to remember numbers or special dates, a phone or computer or website will do it for you for free. People getting blisters, playing too much snake or typing too many SMS’s. Parents worrying about not having control over what their children are doing with cell phones…

Sure, cell phones are not that bad, in fact they are a very useful gadget! They can double up as a device to play music, games, and camera… and are of course, a great way to keep in touch with and ensure the well being of one’s family and friends. But even though having a cell phone makes life much simpler, it also makes it more impersonal, don’t you think? Being a self-confessed cell addict who cant live without it, I still end up thinking sometimes… ‘The times of simple MTNL landlines, those were the good ol’ days!’

Aamchi Mumbai!

2007-09-06T20:19:00.000+05:30

Yup! Being born and brought up in “Saddi Dilli”, I was always a die-hard fan of Delhi and was convinced no city could ever match up to it. Until I packed my bags and settled down in Mumbai. “Aamchi Mumbai”. Yes, this is one endearing thing about this city – there are scores of people who step into the city everyday in hopes of fulfilling their many dreams, and whether they make it a part of themselves or not, Mumbai makes very single one of her inhabitants her own.

The lush greenery of the Western Ghats. The feeble sunshine. The balmy sea breeze which makes the face and skin salty in a matter of seconds. The relentless rainfall, sometimes a harmless drizzle, sometimes a dangerous storm. The black water filled clouds forever enveloping the vast skies. The high-rise buildings right next to the sprawling slums. The fast paced lives and slow moving queues. The sheer volumes of people squeezed into a local. The vada pav/pani puri stalls at every nukkad. The huge movie hoardings all over the city. Couples making out at the Band Stand rocks. The charm of the antique buses, buildings and horse carriages in Town, the street shops and cafés full of foreigners in Colaba. The throngs of people and flights of pigeons at Gateway of India. The tetra hedrons at Nariman Point. The Maalish-walas at Chowpatty beach. HUGE malls and hyper marts, bigger and fancier than anything you could find abroad. People selling all and sundry in locals. No balcony space in matchbox-sized houses. Weird and funny names of crossings and roads, like Hornyman Chowk! Freedom to travel even late nights without fear. Strangers going out of their way to help you. Creamy waves splashing around your feet at Juhu beach. Long queues and huge crowds waiting for hours outside celebrity houses at weekends for just one glance. Brightly lit streets filled with people even in the dead of the night. The narrow gullis. The underworld undercurrents: people still reeling form the aftermath of the blasts and riots. Breathing polluted air while traveling by road. Traffic signals every few feet with hours of waiting time. Moral police like Shiv Sena. The fun and fervor during Gokulashtami and Ganesh Chaturthi. Old ladies chatting with buddies, people sharing foods and doing bhajans on their way back home in the local. ‘Malad’, ‘Bhayandar’, ‘Panvel’, ‘Bandra’, ‘Navi Mumbai’ written at the back of EVERY taxi. The hilly topography of Powai. The din of Bhendi Bazaar. People hanging out from the doors of the locals, enjoying the breeze on their face. Unimaginable levels of honesty in people everywhere around. Respect for women. No matter how close the destination, no travel times less than an hour. Fancy lights and music systems in autos. Fisherwomen and Bai’s dressed in traditional sarees and jewellery. The Page 3 parties and events, frequented by the Who’s who of the social circuit. The Dabbawalas with Six Sigma operational efficiency. The bindaas attitude and awesome slangs of Marathi. More Gujju bhais, Parsis and Sindhis found than their own hometowns. City flooded every time it rains a little too much! The beautiful roads of Aarey colony. Heights of professionalism and bureaucracy at the same time. Lost faces in the crowds of those who come from across the country to become stars. The everyday struggle for one square meal. The unending opportunities to earn money. The unbreakable spirit of the Mumbaikars…

I could just go on and on and on. There is so much to discover and experience in this amazing city. It has been 3 months since I stepped on the SantaCruz Airport, and there has been no looking back ever since. I feel so at home already that I almost don’t miss Delhi! It’s been a few months since I first called this city home, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life here! Everyday I learn something new about the city, its lifestyle, and its people. Though I will always be a Delhite at heart, Mumbai is my life! Three Cheers to Aamchi Mumbai… It’s Rocking!!

Dono Ore Prem Palta Hai...

2007-05-02T23:36:00.000+05:30

A few days ago, out of the blue I remembered an old Hindi poem I studied long time back as part of my course. Its called "Dono Ore Prem Palta Hai" by Maithili Sharan Gupt. And then I had this strange feeling of Deja Vu... That I understood what it is all about. In fact I relate to it in my own way, I'll tell you how, step by step!

दोनों ओर प्रेम पलता है

सखि पतंग भी जलता है
हा दीपक भी जलता है

Both are crazy in love with each other.

Both burn with desire...

He, the flame, me the moth attracted to the fatal glow.

सीस हिलाकर दीपक कहता

बन्धु वृथा ही तू क्यों दहता

पर पतंग पडकर ही रहता
कितनी विह्वलता है

दोनों ओर प्रेम पलता है

He wonders, why am I so crazy about him, why am I so obsessed with him, how come my life starts and ends with him... but I cannot say anything, I am helpless... it is like that only, there is nothing I can do about it!

बचकर हाय पतंग मरे क्या

प्रणय छोडकर प्राण धरे क्या

जले नही तो मरा करें क्या क्या यह असफलता है

दोनों ओर प्रेम पलता है

I tell him... If I do not devote myself to you, if I do not completely immerse myself in you, what else do I have to do? Where else will I go? What will I do with a life without you? There is nothing else in my fate... I am destined to be like this with him, if it means I destroy myself in his love, so be it! Burning in his love is not a failure; rather not being able to burn in his love is a failure!

कहता है पतंग मन मारे

तुम महान मैं लघु पर प्यारे

क्या न मरण भी हाथ हमारे
शरण किसे छलता है

दोनों ओर प्रेम पलता है

I tell him, for me, you are great: so is the stature and importance I have given you in my life, even if you have not done likewise. Funny, how intensely my fate is tied to yours, that my life or death is also decided by yours!

दीपक के जलनें में आली

फिर भी है जीवन की लाली

किन्तु पतंग भाग्य लिपि काली
किसका वश चलता है

दोनों ओर प्रेम पलता है

He burns but spreads light in the world; some good comes out of his doings. But me, my fate is black... there is self immersion and destruction written and so it will be. Happy or sad, this is what I am and what I'll be for the rest of my life.

जगती वणिग्वृत्ति है रखती

उसे चाहती जिससे चखती

काम नही परिणाम निरखती
मुझको ही खलता है

दोनों ओर प्रेम पलता है

The world is selfish, it keeps relations with those who gave it some benefit and ignores the rest. Its the end result which matters, not the words or deeds or the intentions behind them!

Though the last stanza is kind of general, I think it sums up what happens to some of the best of relationships... where the intentions get lost in misunderstandings and miscommunications, and relationships without strong pillars of respect, trust and love... end in a breakup.

It is only after being in love that I realized that it is possible to completely destroy oneself in it, for it. When intensity of feelings cross limits, it can either strengthen the relationship in a way that it can never break again, or destroy the people in it forever!

So all you people out there in love... take care! ;)

Serendipity!

2007-03-07T02:05:00.000+05:30

Yes, that is the first word that came to my mind when I thought of a term to describe what happened recently.

There is a very dear friend of mine, who I knew when I was in primary school. She left Delhi at the end of class 5 and we managed to keep in touch by writing letters. Believe me, no technology can ever match the great feeling of writing letters, posting them, and waiting eagerly for the reply! Such was our friendship, that through the years we kept in touch. Her father was posted in Delhi, and she had some relatives here, so whenever she came to Delhi, we met up. I also remember I took a few trips to Chandigarh, just so I could meet her. In fact, my first time travelling alone was when I went to meet her! We were just not about to let distance come between us friends, we always found a way to meet, talk and write!

And then school finished and she came to Delhi for her Engineering. Strange as it was, but we couldnt meet as often as we would have liked to, given that we lived far apart, even our colleges were far away. Our schedule was hectic, and we hardly ever met. But we still stayed in touch. Then college got over, we started to work. Again ife was very busy. And then, in 2005, I came to IIMA. I dont think I got to meet her in these 2 years that I spent here. But I knew where she was and what she was upto in life.

Soon, about a year back, I came to know she is going back to Chandigarh, with her family, and is teaching in a local college. And soon after that, I got another sms from her: She was getting married in October!

My happiness knew no bounds: They were a cute couple so much in love! They had anticipated refusal from parents etc. But as luck would have it, parents happily agreed! Nothing could be better than the victory of love, and that too with everyone in the picture happy! I was really looking forward to her wedding.

And then it happened. I got busy with life at IIMA and forgot about teh wedding. Soon October came and I waited for her call. I got none. My parents were not contacted by her. I called her repeatedly on her cellphone, but got no replies. I did not have her home address or phone number. For the first time I wish I had emailed her instead of writing letters, for I did not even have her email ID! I felt so lost, my friend was out there somewhere, and I could not find her! October went, then November, December, January, February...

I wondered what happened... Did they cancel/postpone the marriage? Was everything ok? Maybe she lost her cellphone! To top it all, my parents shifted to a new house, and she had no idea about my new address or phone number at Delhi!

So now that my MBA got over, and I was free, I was thinking about her, and decided it was tiem to do something. Time to locate her, no matter how! Try to find her home address in Chandigarh, and subsequently her phone number... Rohit suggested trying out the internet, as all our names and adresses appear in the Electoral Voting list available online!

And so I began to search for my long-lost friend! And guess what happened? I happened to come across a site of a college which had a CV with her name and birthdate! I immediately opened it up, and there it was: all her information, from her name to qualifications to work experience.... to her email ID and home address at Chandigarh! I was so pleasantly surprised! Imagine, thsi information was sitting on the internet for god knows how long! If only I had thought of using it before, I would have got it long back!

Anyway so last night, I excitedly jotted down her details, and mailed her immediately, hoping that the CV was not very old, and she still checked her email on that ID. And guess what? I got a reply this morning! She told me that she got married in November, and she came to look for my house but was not sure of the address and got lost. Before she could confirm the address, she lost her cellphone in all the travelling while she was distributing her wedding invitation! Poor she, wandering about, trying to remember where I lived! And even if she did make it, My parents would not have been there! Finally she gave up with a heavy heart. She missed me, just as I missed being there for her wedding. Even if she had contacted me, in all probability, I would not have been able to attend the wedding in the middle of my semester, but I would have atleast gotten the invite and a chance to talk to her and congratulate her and wish her luck!

Never mind now, I accidetally discovered her whereabouts and now we are back in touch, mailing each other, having exchanged our new phone numbers and home addresses! Her In-laws live in Delhi, and soon I will be seeing my 'all-married-n-all' friend of mine, after soooo long! Looking forward to that! :D

Nayi Mehman...

2007-02-21T07:25:00.000+05:30

Please welcome the new member in our family.... Laila!
Cute, black, naughty, adorable 4 month old dacshund puppy, the new light of our lives!
So far all she has been doing is gobbling down food @ 20 mouthfulsl/second, nibbling on anything available, from furniture to slippers, including human limbs etc, (everything except her chew toys and bones), basking in the winter sun taking long naps; running around the campus when on a walk, driving the local dogs crazy with her charms, and collecting 100 compliments everyday from people ('such a cute puppy, such a sweet puppy") and generally making her presence felt around the house, and being as useless as she could be.
Keep watching this space for further updates! (As I cannot comment much.. i have myself seen her just twice, and she doesnt consider me part of family yet, so until then...)

Calcutta Calling!

2007-02-20T18:35:00.000+05:30

Finally I have begun on my new post, the one which I have been thinking of writing for so many months now. This post is dedicated to the city where I have had some of the most beautiful moments of my life, the City of Joy, Calcutta... oops Kolkata!

Since my birth, till the early 90s, my maternal grandparents lived in Kolkata. I did not have paternal grandparents, and thus it was a ritual from the very beginning, for my whole maternal family (which consisted of 3 aunts and 2 uncles) to spend summers at my Nana-Nani's at Calcutta. So, effectively, I have religiously spent 2 months every year for the first 7-8 years of my life in Calcutta. As you can imagine, I was too young to remember much, but lately I have been working on recalling all the little incidents that I can, and build upon the fond memories I have of the city.

We were a total of 8 cousins: 3 of them, one didi and two bhaiyas were way elder to us, followed by another bhaiya 2 years elder to me, followed by my cousin sister and I, both the same age, followed by my brother and another cousin sister, both younger to me by three years. The older cousins were usually busy amongst themselves, and anyway it was below their dignity to associate with us stupid little kids, so it was usually the five of us, closer in age, who hung out together.

From the very beginning of summer vacations, we all left from Delhi for Cal together, carrying loads of holiday homework to do there. Now we were a lot of people, so we always preferred a train journey, travelling across the country, enjoying ourselves for what took almost 2 days! Our parents used to go crazy trying to control 5 young naughty kids! But we were always so excited about our summers, every year, without fail; such was the charm of the city.

I do not have very many clear memories, but bits and pieces of some days, events and times that have remained in my conscience, and so I apologise in advance, as this post may seem a bit random and without flow to you!

I was very little when I visited Calcutta, and everything there seemed so grand, so huge, so beautiful and also so scary! My grandparents lived in New Alipore, which I understand is a posh residence in South Cal. Our house was on the 4th floor, with lots of children living in our building. There was a long street, where we all gathered in the evening. Making friends with complete strangers for just 2 months was never a hindrance for us. In the beginning, we were enough cousins to have no need for any friends, but soon we had become pally with all the other kids of the building and on the block. We played ball, rode cycles, ran around, and had the fun of our lives. We even made friends with the servants and the watchmen!

There was a small market nearby, where we were not allowed to go alone. Everey evening, one of the uncles or aunts used to take us to the market, and we used to have the most delicious egg rolls I have ever had in my life! Every other evening, the elders used to go for a walk to the Victoria Memorial, or go for a game of Tennis at the nearby club. And every once in a while, we got to accompany them. What an honour it used to be for us!

Apart from these daily events, sometimes we went for a drive around the city in my Grandfather's friend's car, with his children. The best part about the ride was, that it was a convertible! A stylish convertible, in the 80's was something we kids had never seen, even in Delhi! It really felt royal, to be sitting in that car, with the breeze on your face, touring around the city, through the beautiful tree lined roads. Often, mostly around weekends, we stopped at a video library to rent some cartoon videos for us! Again, even this was a fun event for us, as the video library did not have a regular entrance: it was totally surrounded by a hedge, and one had to climb over it, using a two way step ladder. All of us kids insisted on climbing it and going to the shop everytime we visited it! Really, we were so vella and stupid, for every little thing was so exciting for us! FYI that was the place I saw my first cartoon movie that I remember.. Dumbo, the flying elephant!

I remember very vaguely, about the awesome transport system.... I travelled a few times in teh trams, and the metro and loved it! In those times, the traffic was way less, the trams and trains were not as crowded, and it was a magical experience!
One of my aunts worked in the Taj Bengal, and again I remember it as one of my fondest memories, when I was allowed to go in my Nana's car which picked her up after work. I entered the Huuuuuuge hotel, totally awestruck, a little scared of getting lost in the enormity of it all; but was amply rewarded by a scrumtious pastry by the poolside!!
One thing we kids loved to tease our Nanaji about was his car. It was an old styled black ambassador, and from our balcony, it looked like a butterbox! Everytime our Nanaji came back from work, all of us kids started to chant "Nana ki gaadi dabbba!"

Another special memory that remains in my heat is when one day I found a small kitten yelping around on the street. I think that is the time when I discovered my love for animals ... I wuickly oicked it up and got it home. My Nani hated animals, but allowed me to wipe it clean and feed it just a little bread and milk, before she asked the servant to take it away. Sigh! I cried all day, but never saw the kitten again. But soon after, when I turned 8, I got my first pet Tiffany!

Another awesome thing about Calcutta is the rains! I love rains, but we kids were not allowed to experience them, as we were too young. As most Cal people would agree, when it rains in Cal, it pours, and the streets are usually flooded. So whenever it rained, we stood at the windows, looking at people waddling away in knee-length water; making small paper helicopters and throwing them down! I can still remember the beautiful scent of wet earth wafting around after the showers! There was a tree right outside one of the bedroom windows, and on it was situated a small nest. And one of the days, when it was raining, I was sitting near the window when I suddenly saw a mummy bird flying in with food in hear beak, to feed her 3 little chciks, cheeping away hard, with their mouths wide open, eager for food. That is one of my fondest and most touching memories of all!

We had a lot of fun at home. In the morning, after breakfast was homework time. We all sat down in a line and worked away. Whoever did not do his/her share of home work for the day got punished: either no sweets, or no play time. Once I was punished, I dont remember for whta. I was made to sit on top of a 5 foot tall wooden almirah in my Nanaji's room by my uncle. He put me there and went away, locking the door. I sat there for a couple of minutes, all angry and hating everyone. But after some time, when I realised that they are not coming back soon, I started feeling uncomfortable. As it is we always avoided coming into this room as our Nanaji is very strict, and we avoided all contact with him. Sitting in his room, all alone, no fan... It was the most horrible experience of my life. Soon I started crying and much later, (I am sure it was just 10-15 minutes since he put me on teh cupborad but to me it felt like 2-3 hours), my uncle came back, toook all sorts of promises from me that I will behave myself, and then only let me down! I dont think I went in that room for the rest of that summer!

One thing we all looked forward to was our daily mango. Everyone in the family was allowed one mango per day. Now u get it during lunch, and you can do whatever you want with it: consume it all then and there or save it til dinner. Mostly we used to have a slice or 2 and then save the rest for after dinner. God only knows how we used to protect our little mango from the prying eyes of those who had already finished theirs!

After dinner, while my grandparents used to retire for bed, the kids and the aunts used to retire in the second bedrrom. Then started the nocturnal activities.... my mother and her sisters played scrabble, while my older cousins chatted or read comics etc, and we just did some tp or were made to sleep off. These people, on the other hand, would continue gossipping late in the night, making tea at odd hours in the morning, and having a ball!
Another event in the family was every saturday evening, when all the distinguished members of my Nanaji's social circle used to come for a game of Cards at our house. The whole house was full of dim lights and soft music, with clicking glasses and tasty savories being passed around. Th grand old uncles and aunties, smoking a cigarette or chewing a pan, elegantly dressed with shiny jewels and flashy accessories... wow! what a scene it was. But ofcourse, none of this was meant for us, for we were all shoved into our bedroom and made to stay there. Still, with one or the other excuse, we sneaked out and tried to peek in his room, and get a taste of their conversation and style! GEtting caught doing that was never pleasant, usually followed by Nani catching hold of us by our ears and marching us back to teh room.

But by far, the most interesting event to happen in the house was.... when people saw a lizard. Now all my aunts and elder cousins were plain cowards when it came to lizards. All they did was run around and scream and shout, pushing each other to drive the damn thing out of the room. And it was during one such chaotic night, that yours truly, all of 3 feet high 5-6 years, was made to stand on the bed with a big long jhaadoo, to drive the lizard away, while all the aunts and sisters and kids stood behind me, shivering! And the brave girl I was, I took upon me the mammoth task, and was successful in drinving the creature away and saving my family! (Actually I could hardly make heads and tails of the situation... I just waved the jhadoo at the thing and she happily crawled out, only to settle in my Nanaji's room next door!) What a moment it was... my moment of glory, when all sighed with relief and declared me hero! I got an extra mango the next day! :)

It used to be quite a sad, as we realised that the day to leave for Delhi is fast approaching. All our energy died down. We lay there like sacks of potatoes, dreading the day we were to pack up and leave. But all good things come to an end, and so did our time in Cal every year. Soon our grandparents shifted back to Delhi. This was good as we could see them much more often now, but it was sad as I never got to see Cal again. I hope, someday, I can go back to that city, travel in the same tram/metro, eat the egg roll from the same shop, rent a video from the library and roam around on that street, where many years ago, I had the time of my life!

Colours of Life!

2006-11-28T18:15:00.000+05:30

(This is the copy of the article I wrote for an NGO's magazine... I interviewed a rickshawpuller to get a glimpse of the life he lives... thought I could share my experience and what he had to say!)

Clad in a red check shirt, blue pants, folded; a pair of chappals… that is how he has always been seen: this is his everyday attire, his uniform to work. That is Mr. Harish Chand Gupta, a local rickshaw puller. Slim, with average height, a thick moustache and lines of experience etched on his prematurely matured face, he looks older than his 21 years. Originally belonging to a small village called Supol in Bihar, this Marwari Baniya now resides in a small colony in East Delhi.

Born to a well-to-do family, Harish has two sisters and two brothers, apart from his parents in his family. His father commanded a good position in a private organisation, earning about Rs.15000 per month, when he got entangled in a murder conspiracy and lost his job. Since then the family has been forced to resort to farming to sustain itself. His sisters are happily married and settled with husband and kids. His elder brother has a business of his own while the younger one operates an atta chakki.

Harish’s childhood was eventless, yet full of fun and frolic… playing without any worries, studying, hanging out with friends without a care for the world… no responsibilities, nothing. Such was life till class Six, when it became evident o him that life is not going to e as smooth as before. Seeing the increasing financial burden on his parents and the dismal returns on their flood-affected land, Harish decided o quit studying and leave his village in search of a better life.

And this is how he ended up in Delhi twelve years ago, in 1994, at the tender age of nine, all alone and a total stranger to the city, just like the scores of other people like him, to earn his living and make his own luck, in the city of his dreams. When he reached Delhi, he first worked in a clothes factory as a helper for six months. He then shifted to a beer brewery in Haryana and worked there in the capacity of chief engineer for five years. However, daunted by some ghastly accidents and deaths in the factory premises, he soon quit his job. He then went to Punjab and farmed for another two years. After that, till date (five years now) he has been pulling his own rickshaw, which he bought from his savings.

Apart from pulling his rickshaw, he also alternates as a keeper in a nearby bookstore. In total he manages to earn about Rs. 4000 per month. Of this he spends Rs. 2500 on rent, food and other expenses; and manages to send home Rs. 1500. On a typical day, he wakes up at 5:30 am, gets ready, works from 7-9 am, has breakfast and takes rest, gets back to work till lunchtime at 2 pm, rests some more after lunch, opens the bookstore around 4 pm, cleans it and arranges everything, then back to his rickshaw, working till about 9 in the night, when he comes home, cooks and has dinner and retires for the day. He lives all alone, cooks, washes etc. all by himself, with no one to take care of him. He has no social life, no friends, and no entertainment… not even a television or radio. Such is his life, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Is he happy? He says: “Life is currently okay. I do not particularly enjoy it, but do not mind it either. I plan to make it better. I want to make enough money to be able to buy some land of my own to build a house and cultivate a small farm. For that I am learning how to drive a taxi, to start a taxi service of my own.”

Doesn’t he dislike being alone? Wouldn’t he like a life partner, to take care of him and support him in all his endeavours? He quips: “I do not want to get married just yet. My parents and after my life to ‘settle down’, but I want to have my own house and enough money to sustain a family comfortable before I marry.” Marriage and settling down, apparently is a touchy issue for him, due to heartbreak in the past. Some time ago, he fell in love with a girl who did not reciprocate his feelings. Since then he has been quite forlorn and has stopped believing in love.

His happiest moment?

“The life is led as a child, amongst my family and friends: no troubles or worries… only lots of love and fun!”

His saddest moment?

“When my loved on refused my proposal and broke my heart.”

His moment of regret?

“I should not have quit my studies and left my village so soon. Had I stayed on, maybe I would have been much better off right now…”

His proudest moment?

“When I bought a small radio for my parents from my first salary!”

All in all, life for Harish has been full of hardships, struggle and sacrifice; but he still goes on, determined to fulfil his dreams.

His parting words?

“All I want to say to everyone is that one should study and work hard, get a good job, house and family; and take good care of them all… strive to achieve your goals, believe in yourself, don’t give up, and be a good human being.”

With this, and a twinkle in his eyes, a dream in his heart and a song on his lips, he rushes off, beckoned by a prospective customer, and pedals away into his future!

R.I.P. Confusa Multiple Tiffanitias!

2006-10-28T17:25:00.000+05:30

Sad News...

My doggie of 15 years died 4 months ago...
Her name was Tiffany. She was a cute lil golden brown dacshund, the light of our lives.
She was old, sick, but comfortable. Although I knew that there will be one day when she would have to go, I could never bring myself to accept it, and still have not.

She died when I was here in Ahmedabad, when I could not even wish her goodbye, when I could not see her one last time; in my mother's lap. Everyone back at home is quite grief stricken. I cried the day mum told me. But I'm over it. But I know, I'm not quite over it. I'm ok right now, cuz I'm here. But I know the moment I set foot at home, I will burst out crying, cuz there will be no brown lil thing running towards me, barking, jumping, trying to lick my face, wagging her tail @ 10 wags/sec! There will be no sad eyes looking at me when I leave home. There will be no innocents looks at me while I enjoy her favourite sweet. There will be no one staring at me questioningly when I'm trying to trouble her. There will be no one responding to my calls. There will be no one running to go fetch my slippers, or the ball I just threw. There will be no one on my lap when we go out for a drive. There will be no barking when the bell rings. There will be no snoring beside me on my bed at night. There will be no Tiffany ever... again!

While this thought saddens me to no end, I try to think of the happier times that we had with her! Tiffany, the doggie with a million names, every one had a different name with which they called her. So many names, so many poems made for her... Tifi, tifu, chipi, chimpu, chima, tipu, chipu, timpukdini, champakali, cheepnee, tipni, futti, chunni, cheefee...!!!!

We called her confusa multiple Tiffanitias: confusa because we are still confused what kind of weird creature she was, multiple cuz she portrayed multiple animal characteristics (she was timid like a mouse, jumped around like a rabbit, was fat like a buffalo/elephant, etc) and ofcourse, Tiffanitias was her Species Name!! I know its crazy, but thats how she was, and we were, when we were around her.

I miss her, still. And always will. After all, even human beings are not capable of the unconditional love that she showed me. Even if I slapped her a minute ago for doing something stupid, she would come running with the same enthusiasm and love when I would come back home that evening, that she would have had, had I not scolded her. I could vent my anger on her, say anything and everything to her, without the fear of being judged. She meant so much to us, that none of us would eat, sleep or do anoything without her. So much that if ever a calaity struck, even before I would grab food/water/money or look for family, I would look for her. So much that even if my mom had just one roti to eat, she would first give a part of it to Tiffany, and then to us. She was the baby of the family. She was a part of everything in our lives. She went with us for vacations, car drives when we went for icecream, to our relatives' houses when we went for dinner. She was an active part of every festival we celebrated: she got the tikka and sacred thread on her wrist on Dussehra and Diwali; we coloured her wild on Holi. She sould sit patiently through all poojas, except when I made rangoli: then she would roam about happily in that room, wagging her tail, ruining my colour work!! We even tried to make her into a quintessential Indian Doggie... by draping her with a duppatta for a sari, complete with earrings and makeup!

She was great fun outside home too... When she was a young doggie, she was known to be a fast runner. The moment someone would open the front door, she would run out, and it would take 10 of us kids and 20 minutes for us to locate and catch her!! What a devil she was! Not only that, she was quite a dish when in her ol days... there were countless dogs who were crazy about her, but the lady she was, she never gave any Bhaav to anyone. Sure she had friends, but her heart beat for only one: Raph, our neighbour's Golden Labrador. So what if they were different breeds, so what if she was 1/10th the size of her lover, they were crazy about each other. Every chnce she got, she ran out and right into their house, and rush to meet her love. A pity they could not consummate their love. Apart from her lover, she had a lot of friends, like Beetle and Sugar amongst others, and she spent days and night froliking about with them! They were best buddies, totally inseparable! Such was their bond, that they all celebrated and attended eeach other's birthdays. Ah! Birthdays! Another fun day for her. We would get a cake, nad arrange for lots of fun non-veg food , and invite all the dogs of the campus. Ad they, like good friends, would never come without a gift for her: a ball, a bowl, a collar/leash, a chewtoy, food etc.

We had lots of fun during the rains too. Funny, she hated having a bath like every other canine, but she loved the rains. She loved running out, getting dirty, and jumping around. There were areas where water collected, and we used to put her in a tub, and she used to happily float away in her makeshift boat! Yes, life after that was not so much fun, when she would enter the house and dirty everything she touched! Then both she and us kids got the scolding of our lies from our parents. But we never learnt, and repeated the whole thing the next day!

Towards the end of her life, she was old, lazy but comfortable, and thankfully not diseased or in pain. She just died of old age: she gave up eating, and after a few revivals, she finally gave up on July 5th 2006. She died a virgin: we never could get her to mate with any dog. Was she a lady, or plain stupid, we are not so sure. But whatever she was, she was a darling, and we all miss her presence in our lives. Nothing is the same without her, and can never be. In a month, we are getting a new doggie, but no one will ever be able to take her place in our lives and hearts!

Tiffany, we love you and miss you and always will!
So long, Farewell. Adieu my friend! Adios Amigo! Hasta La Vista Baby!

The Show Will Go On...

2006-10-10T14:11:00.001+05:30

Bloodshot eyes
Dark and gloomy skies
No day, no night
Only she is in sight

No present, no future
He only knows the past
Disappointed yet optimistic, says he
"Nice guys finish last"

He loved her, but did she?
'She loved me... she loved me not..'
Plucking petals of a flower?
More like pices of his heart!

Those magical nights
And the mornings after
The high, higher than cannabis,
The hearts beating faster...

The sweetest coffee - the one they shared
The dinners where they hardly ate
Sneaking in for a midnight rendezvous...
These meant much more than just a date.

They knew they were different
But still it felt just right
They knew it was almost impossible
But the romantics, they always saw light

But like they say, all good things end
And end they did, but maybe only for one
For the other there was hope, even across borders
but little did he know, that she had none.

One day, then two, a week, then a few
He waited for her by day and by night
For her, he was no more; but he still felt her
In the breeze, the music, the moonlight!

He now sits here, still
wasted, withering away
But he refuses to give up
Till he hears her say

"I Love You"
And then he will be reborn
But until then, the curtains wont fall
The show will go on!

Memoirs of a Mother.. (A true story)

2006-08-17T02:34:00.000+05:30

I still remember that fateful day in the wintery January of 1983, when I realised that I was pregnant! Our joys knew no bounds. I was 28 and eager to start a family. Barely married a few months ago, my husband and I did not have much: just a single room house on rent, a few essentials and the both of us. My husband, fresh out of Med School, had recently acquired a job with a grand hospital and was earning a good Rs. 3000 per month. We had little, but we were happy. And now, a little one was to come into our lives soon. It was a heartening feeling; but a little scary too. How would we manage? Would we be able to afford a good life and provide for a bright future for our child? All my fears and anxiety were laid to rest by my husband who was very supportive, and by my family and friends. And thus began the beautiful journey of motherhood.

We were very excited. We began nurturing our dreams: thinking of names, buying clothes, collecting important tid-bits from family and freinds (recent mothers' hand-me-downs), plans to save money to buy toys and crib...

And then it struck me - my husband sonographed me and gave me "the news" (at that moment I could not decide whether it was good or bad) - I was pregnant with twin girls!

For a moment I was shocked - I could not react, and when I did, it was not pleasant. It was simply impossible: raising two girls, together, in a one-room house, on a meagre salary... It could just not be done! I gave up. I told my husband I wanted to abort the babies. I would not be able to handle them. I wasnt sure we could pull it off. My husband, though crestfallen at my reaction, convinced me that we could make it if we tried. My family came to our rescue. They collected lots of baby things, came to live with me and help with the pregnancy and promised to help take care of the babies when they arrived. And so I agreed, and the journey continued.

The next few months' were pretty comfortable. Sure, I had some weird cravings at weird timings, and I suddenly stated hating my favourite foods. There were good days, bad days, horrible days, and great days too. Everyone pitched in , in whatever way they could. There was a lot going on, both inside and outside, but I was so loved and taken care of that I did not realise how time flew.

Then one fine day in late August, a month before the due date, things started to speed up and we were surprised to know that the stork intended to visit us a month before plan. On August 30th, 1983, I finally gave birth to the two most beautiful and precious babies ever! It was fairly smooth though exhausting., but all my tiredness went away when I saw the tiny little bundles of joy!

They were born premature, and as a result were very weak, thin and sick. It was a miracle they survived, but they were getting better by the day. The were identical twins: fair, rosy, fragile - and everyone who saw them fell in love with them. The doctor who delivered them told me she had 4 sons and desperately wanted to adopt my second baby. Smiling, I refused. Smiling because just a few months back I was ready to abort these little ones, or give them away; but today, I could not bear to do that! My brother-in-law also wanted to adopt my second one, and so did a few others, but I politely refused them all. These were my babies, my fruits of labour; and I was going o keep them, love them and nurture them twice as much as any mother! The two little Japanese dolls (as my doctor called them) had a band strapped to their wrists to differentaiate between them: one with a blue strap, one with a red one. We deided to call the elder one Mini, and the younger Tini for the time being, till we finalised their proper names.

And then our world came crashing down - Mini improved and came back home a week after her birth, but suddenly Tini was getting sicker and sicker. As it is, in multiple births, each kid doesnt get equal nutrition during pregnancy, and in this case Tini was the weaker one. She was going from bad to worse and stayed at the hospital. The days crept by. Finally she started to get better, and by the time she was 13 days old, she was well enough to visit her home for the first time. There was much jubilation. With lots of hopes and dreams, we finally got Tini back home, and lay her next to Mini. What a beautiful sight they were! We decided to keep a watch throughout the night. My husband stayed up for a few hours while I slept. Then he woke me up, and it was my turn to stay up and watch over Tini's condition. While the 3 slept, I stayed awake, but very drowsy. Dont know how and when but at some point I fell asleep and was only woken up by loud crying noises of Tini, in the wee hours of the morning. We all woke up, and after doing whatever we could to calm her down, we realised something was wrong. We rushed her to the hospital. apparently she had caught a deadly infection on the blood called Septicaemia from the hospital itself, and was very sick. Though enraged by the lack of proper care in such a big hospital, we first concentrated on immediate steps for Tini's treatment and recovery. Those few hours were the worst hours of our lives. We hoped, wished and prayed, but it was too late. In the wee hours of a September day, when the little one was just 2 weeks old, she succumbed to the disease. The other half of Mini, my second Japanese doll - was gone! The baby so many people wanted, did not go to anyone; not even to us.

With heavy hearts and tearful eyes, we went back, wondering if there was any way we could have avoided this. Had I stayed up, could we have saved her life? Maybe, maybe not. Thus came an end to our dreams, hopes, wishes, happiness: atleast half of it. Though she spent all her life in the hospital, we missed her presence. But all the same we were grateful to God that Mini was alive and kicking. She continued to be sick for a year or 2, but after that she flourished. But even today when I see Mini, sometimes I think of the little one, long gone: of how pretty she would have been, how her life would have shaped up... Would she have been a star student? Would she have had a great sense of humour? What would have her marriage been like?

' Sweetheart I know you were going thruough hell, and aybe it was a blessing for you to be liberated. But do know, all of loved you and still do. We did whatever we could for you, and above all, we miss you and wish you were here. But, as they say, sometimes God gets lonly and needs some nice people around him. I guess he needed you the most, amongst all of us... '

(FYI, My old nickname is Mini)

Touch Wood!

2006-08-05T04:53:00.000+05:30

How many of us are there who have never used this term? None? I thought so... You see, we humans, in spite of being the supremely intelligent creatures we are, cannot help but be superstitious about some or the other thing at some point in life. The other day when I was thinking about this, I thought of asking around, what people believe in.

Some common beliefs which most of know, if not follow, are:

Do not go out during an eclipse
Dont walk under a ladder against a wall
Do not take the path which has been crossed by a cat, esp a black one!
Do not cut nails, comb hair at nite
Dont purchase steel items, oil, black clothes etc on saturday
If someone sneezes just as you are leaving the doorstep to go out, your day will be ruined
Dont wash hair/clothes, consume Non Veg food on a particular day (differs from culture to culture)
Dont use scissors in air, or give someone a knife; it creates fights
Order of wearing shoes, or taking them off; which foot to keep out first when leaving home etc is important
teen tigade kaam bigade!
trisdekaphobia!!! No - 13!!
Dont keep footwear near head when sleeping on teh floor; wash feet before sleeping; else you will get nightmares
Aankh fadakna (can be both good and bad, depends on which one is fadakoing!)
Repeated howling of dogs means death in house
Veseels falling, crow crowing outside means visitors coming (crows also make wishes come true)
When you bite your tongue while eating means some has just abused you .. while some believe it means you will get delicious food soon!! (I would rather believe the second interpretation!! :))
Fallen eyelashes or Buddhi ke baal (seeds getting dispersed) fulfil wishes!!
Bury broken tooth, or keep inder pillow for money from tooth fairy (aka mum n dad!)
Spilling salt or breaking mirrors means bad luck

Some interesting and unfamiliar ones include

Don't give a sutta with the fag b/w th index n middle finger (as in the way you smoke it)
Keep the doors open much after 6:30-7 PM : at that time Laxhmi aayegi :))
In some village the newly weds are not allowed to sleep together for 3 whole days..thoda control ker liye to long lasting marriage hogee.. (poor poor newlyweds!! suhagraat bhi manae nahi dete.. zaalim zamana!!)

Whatever it is, we are really good at coming up with some really awesome ideas, logics for doing and not doing some things. Some beliefs may actually be doing good, like keeping a vrat may actually cleanse your system... no junk for one day may actually do good! Also not cutting nails etc at nite may have come around to ensure cleanliness?? Same goes for washing feet before sleeping!

But some beliefs are are like obstacles.. Have come across situations when some people were sick but they were not given adequate treatment as they were thot to be affected by spirits.. and they died! Stupid, harmless superstitions are ok, but some totally illogical and dangerous beliefs and rituals can be fatal; be it the ritual of shooting in air during a marriage (in one instance the groom himself was shot dead by mistake), or sacrifice girl child to satisfy gods (arising more from the various biases our society suffers from!).... the list is endless!

High time we separate the harmless beliefs from teh harmful ones, and make a wise choice in deciding what to believe, for the betterment of all humankind!

(Untitled)

2006-07-13T16:10:00.001+05:30

The first yawn
The cute baby smile
Those sleepless nights
Tunning around with the food

The first bicycle fall
The shiny black shoes for birthday
The first soccer goal
The straight A grade card

The first girlfriend
Followed by the first kiss
and shortly thereafter the first heartbreak
The first fist fight
and a visit to the doc for stitches

The first earning as a newspaperboy
The first scholarship for college
The first serious relationship...
and the memorable days after

The first interview - the most nervous day
but even more nervous -
The "pop the question" and "meet the parents" day

The affirmative answer
from both the dream company and girl
The first car, and house..
The difficult early days,
with not much other than love and togetherness

The first moonlit date
The first honeymoon
The first child, and first time responsibilities
The first tear, the first smile for the lil one!

The first heartache to see
The grown up child leave home
The first tears of happiness
To hear about the upcoming wedding

The first grandchild, the first gift
The first family reunion at christmas
The first heart attack, the first pang of fear
The first admission in the hospital,
The first night of unbearable tension

The sad faces of teh family
The worried look of the wife
The clenching fist of the child...
and the sad smile of the lil grandchild

The last few days and moments
The last sights, sounds, tastes and feelings
The last tear, the last smile...
and thw last breath before I rest for a while..

Goodbye, I had a great time!

Hey Stranger!!

2006-07-13T16:10:00.000+05:30

Hey Stranger, have I seen you?
I remember your intense eyes,
The dimple on your cheek, the sweet smiles,
I've seen this blue shirt somewhere before,
I can feel your breathing, your heartbeat and more...

Hey Stranger, have I met you?
I remember your amusing adventure on the beach,
The lunch was chicken (wasn't it?) And the dessert - peach!
The stories of the times when you were a little child,
I remember your youth, when you did all things wild.

Hey Stranger, do I know you?
I still have your secrets, the truths and lies,
I don't need to speak to you; I can do that with our eyes.
I know your favourite fantasy; your deepest darkest desire,
I know what displeases you, and what ignites in you the fire!

I know the touch of your hand, the feel of your hug,
I know your birthday, your favourite movie, the name of your pug;
Without having seen, met, known each other, we connect,
God only knows if we really meet, what would be the effect!

Do we really not know each other? I guess then that means
You must either be my soul mate, or my favourite dream!

Padhna Likhna Seekho....

2006-06-01T14:40:00.000+05:30

As I settled to another boring day at office, one of my colleagues came up to greet another guy sitting right behind me, and started to poke fun at him, singing a song I heard aeons ago: "Padhna likhna seekho, o mehnat karne walo..." I stooped doing whatever I was busy with, and looked back with a confused/amused look on my face... Trying to remember the song. And then I remembered: not only this song, but many other old, forgotten jingles/ad songs...

Jab main chhota bachcha tha,
badi sharart karta tha,
meri chori pakdi jaati,
jab roshni deta bajaj...

Kya rangeen jawani thi
ek raja ek rani thi
(something something something something)
roshni deta bajaj!

Ab main bilkul buddha hoon
Goli khakar jeeta hoon
Lekin aaj bhi ghar ke andar
roshni deta bajaj!!

(gosh we kids have had so much fun with this one..!!)

Vicco turmeric, nahin cosmetic
Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream
kil muhason ko jad se mitayein
haldi chandan ke gun isme samayein
twacha ki raksha kare ayurvedic cream
Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream!

(Wow I actually remember the whole thing!)

Then there was this United cooker wala ad, where this guy has his boss coming over for dinner, and needs to impress him for a promotion. So the wife cooks food in United cooker... Khaye jao khaye jao United ke gun gaye jao... United ne kar diya kamal, mili tarakki, (something something)..

Of course how can we forget the epic ad: Pan pasand, where this gal is being asked to get married but she doesn't want to marry the guy who has come to see her... "Shaadi... aur tumse?? Kabhi nahin!!" Or Pan Parag "Baratiyon ka swagat pan parag se kijiye"... they also had that one ad, where this guy Jalal Agha guy is at a party, where everyone is asking him for Pan Parag, and he keeps giving one packet to them; until he meets this 7 foot tall guy who asks "mera kya hoga"....

I also remember this ad... atleast this line.. Where this woman (was it the Deepti "Sita" female? Im not sure..) says about nirma washing bar (I think) "Ab aap samjhe, maine yeh tikiya kyun li?"
I had a special place for this in my heart cuz my dad used to say for me, whenever he was proud of any of my achievements " Ab aap samjhe, maine yeh Bitiya kyun li!!"

Im sure we all remember the "bhool na jana, ECE bulb lana.." or " kuch lete kyun nahin, Coldarin li?" or maybe " Bechara, kaam ke bojh ka mara, inhe chahiye Cinkara!" And above all, the eternal jingle "Lifeboy hai jahan, tandurusti hai wahan!"

There were some cute ads, like the Dhara ad where that lil kid runs away from home, only to come back for yummy homemade jalebis; or the "I Love you Rasna" series, Cadbury Ads (the woman dancing in the middle of the cricket ground, or the kya swad hai zindagi mein one... Beautiful!!), Lijjat Papad, Mugli Ghutti 555 (aha meethi meethi!) Lalita Ji's ads...I can go on and on and on!

Then there was Dabur Lal Dant Manjan, TT underwear (khel kood ya PT), Utterly Butterly Delicious Amul, Shilpa Char chand lagaye, Santoor: Meri twacha se meri umra ka pata hi nahin chalta, MDH Masale sach sach, Tobu Cycles... and ofcourse... the VIP Ad with the guy in his undies saving a damsel in distress... or the "Whats he got that I aint got" Ad... hmmmm.... ;)) There was another ad, an anti smoking ad... with a cigarette in my hand, i felt like a man! I also remember one Phillips ad where a guy is trying to serenade his girlfriend by singing a song on a guitar: only he is lip syncing to a song playing on his Phillips player, and he is caught braying like a donkey, strumming randomly on the guitar when he accidentally switches the player off!!

Ofcourse no one can forget the unforgettable Titan ads, especially the Titan tune: simply awesome!
But yes, my personal favourite was the Captain Cook namak ad, with Sushmita Mukherjee aka Lily of Karamchand fame, comparing Captain Cook namak with her manpasand namak.

No need to remind you of the "Ek chidiya, anek chidiya" song... or "Mile sur mera tumhara"... they rock!!!

Ol' Ads... ol' memories... ol' days... simple ideas... cute stories... catchy jingles... mass appeal... Those were the times.... Aaj kal ke jhakaas ads may come and go, but we will fondly remember these ol ones forever!!

Road Trip 2!!

2006-05-11T20:30:00.000+05:30

Still riding high on the enthusiasm of the first one, as soon as we joined in the third term at IIMA, we were ready to go ahead with Road Trip No. 2! So one Friday in early Jan this year, it was decided: We would go to Nalsarovar, a nearby Lake and Bird Sanctuary. And so, on Saturday evening we all fixed our respective riders and pillions, and 4 bikes and 8 people got ready to start off early on Sunday morning, before day break, to reach the destination in time, to see the birds wake up at sunrise. So we all slept early, or atleast tried to, excited at the day ahead.

At 3 am, Vikas came over to wake me up. I quickly got ready and by 3:30 we were ready to leave when BV gave us a call to let us know that the trip is delayed by 45 mins and we would leave by 4:15 am. Faced with 45 minutes of no plans, we knew we could not sleep: Vikas would feel very sleepy while riding. So we sat up, watching some arbit movies etc. Finally at 4:15 am we went to the maingate, to be faced by the first difficulty of the day (yes there are more to follow): Apparently some egg-head was driving very fast and crashed his car into our friend Manac's bike. Thankfully Manac was alone, however the bike was very badly crushed, and Manac's foot was hurt badly. After some quick first-aid, we arranged for another bike (Poor KG, we woke him up at 4:30 am on a Sunday morning!) and decided to leave. Manac insisted he would also come, and tried riding for a while, but the pain gave way and he had to return to the campus. The rest of us: Pepsy and BV, Mishti and Chandru, Sid and Vishnu, Vikas and I continued; one after the other, headlights shining, riding on a coooool winter night.

Although none of us had ever been there before, nor anyone had perfect idea where it was, we could do with whatever little instructions we had, and thankfully did not get lost because the road was pretty straight. (Unlike Lothal!!) Finally at about 6:30 in the morning we approached Nalsarovar, parked the bikes, sought permission to enter (one needs to pay money to get in) and settled down for the boatmen to come. It was a cold but beautiful morning, and we sat there, sipping hot tea, and watching 100's of men carrying curiously loooooong sticks. Later we found out that these were the sticks used to row the boat and navigate, by the boatmen!

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, a 100 boats appeared: all colourful, with names like Haseena et al; and so did a throng of people: Localites, people from across Gujarat, and ofcourse, some foreigners to complete the fanfare! (Seriously, do people have nothing better to do on a cold Sunday morning than to come to Nalsarovar, something important like sleeping? Only we poor sleep-deprived students know what a luxury it is... Enjoy it while you can, kya pata kal sona ho na ho!!) All around us people started to negotiate fares in Gujarati, while we stood there clueless about where to begin. Finally a sweetlooking couple standing near us gave us information about fair fares and helped us get a good deal. Finally after much haggling, all 8 of us got into one boat, and started sailing with 2 boatmen.

Dawn was breaking, birds were waking, and it was a sight to see. Though we could not go to the banks of Saurashtra where the Flamingos are, we still got to see Seagulls, Herons, Egrets etc. These boatmen knew the species of all kinds of birds, their eating habits, hibernation etc. It was an awesome sight, and we enjoyed every moment of it.

Apparently these boatmen also fished in the lake: the waters were very dirty, but very shallow and had some fish. So there were a lot of nets embedded on the lake bed. In fact we saw one net and enquired about the kind of fish, and got lucky (or unlucky) to see that a fish was caught in the boat. A fisherman came with a boatful of dead, stinking fish, and proudly showed us his haul, while we all sat there cringing our noses and feeling sorry for the fish! Its quite a horrid sight I tell you, seeing a dead fish, with eyes wide open... Yuck!

Anyhow soon after that we approached what looked like a lost island from Lalooland! I mean it: there was dirt and huts, with lotsa flies around everywhere. Open food kept here and there, little naked children running along, buffalos tied outside each hut/shop... We asked the boatmen, who answered that this was an island famous for desi food, as well as bird feed. While we were very hungry, none of us dared to eat food from this place, and instead settled for 10 rupees worth of bird feed. With that we took a turn and sailed back towards the shore. Halfway there, we saw a flock of seagulls nearby, and at that opportune Moment, the boatman threw the feed in the water, and it was sight to be seen: Millions of seagulls appeared from nowhere... And dove into the water to get a bit of the feed. It was marvellous, one of the most enchanting sights I have ever seen!

After the feed finished and the birds departed, we started to approach the shores: we saw horses running along the shores. Apparently this was another tourist attraction, rather a commercial venture: people bought a ride along the shore, galloping away on horses, early in the morning. It was quite popular, judging by the crowd there. Finally we touched base, and disembarked, paid the money, and dragged our feet towards our bikes. But before we left, we bought conches (shankh kinda thing) which some little children were selling for Re 1 apiece! Such beautifully coloured, soft and clean conches.

With heavy hearts, and hungry tummies, we then left Nalsarovar, having captured whatever magic we could in our cameras. On the way back, Vikas and I got lost, but we finally reached Sankalp restaurant, dying to have some South Indian food. Unfortunately it was closed. So we proceeded to Mysore Masala, and had a lazy, sleepy, tired breakfast; and rushed back to IIMA to crash in and sleep off; only to wake up late in the evening, that too only cuz it was a Monday and we had to study something!!

All said and done, tho we spent hardly 2 hours there, it was a beautiful place, and a great Bike trip!

FIDOE... No more alcohol and drugs for you!

2006-04-21T17:55:00.000+05:30

It all started with an acute pain in my stomach. I felt nauseatic, lost my appetite (yes I really did!) and felt sick very often. A coupla days later, I threw up in the middle of the night. Our batch's Docs came over to have a look and gimme some medicines. However, the next day I was sick again. But I dreaded going to the Institute doc.
Ask me why? Every time you go to him, irrespective of what problem you have, he will first play the game of 20 questions with you, and then irrespective of what answers you gave, he will give you 3 different coloured nameless tablets. I could not bring myself to trust him, so after a number of colourless tablets and references to other doctors and lotsa tests, I went to the best hospital in Ahmedabad: SAL hospital.

I met up with the doctor, explained my situation, and he diagnosed enlarged spleen and accordingly prescribed some medicines. After consuming them for 2 days and not feeling any better, I returned, to find that he was not there. So another doctor had a look and diagnosed that its actually viral infection and gave me a different set of medicines. I took them for another 2 days, but, as you might have guessed, I was sick as ever. I was missing classes in the beginning of the term, and when one day I had an unbearable pain, I knew it : something had to be done, and done quick. So I went for the third time. This time I insisted on a good Gastro doctor, not just anyone available. So I met Dr. Tripathi: a smart, goodlooking middle-aged doctor. I felt better already! :)

I told him about the situation and after prolonged discussion he said " We have to look into what is wrong with you Aditi, and so I recommend that you stay with us here for a couple of days. Nothing major, just a few tests and you will be free to go in 2-3 days."

And so it began. My stay at SAL. I changed into the hospital clothes and shifted to my room: a double room which I shared with a lady who had just undergone Hysterectomy. She was a sad sight, and her husband was a quiet, morose man. I was there at 12 noon, and was beginning to feel hungry. But they kept me hungry cuz they wanted to take some tests. Finally at 4 I got a sandwich to eat. And at 7 I got my dinner: 1 lil cup of dal, chawal, sabzi, 2 tiniest rotis, exact 2 pieces of cucumber. And that was all I had.

But my worst moment ever was the time when they inserted the Drip . Now why one earth did they have to put one in the first place, I dunno. I am able, on regular diet, and don't need one. "Doctor's Instructions" is all what the nurses said, while they prepared to insert the drip. I was sweating buckets all this while. All my life I have been dead scared of needles. I hate the very thought of any needle piercing my skin, so much that if I am made to get an injection, I cry my eyes out... I mean it! And here they were... inserting a huge needle in my arms... I lost all senses and started to cry and beg for mercy. But these nurses I tell you: they have no compassion: they just laughed at me and caught hold of me and put that darned thing in my arm!!

After a lot of hullabaloo, things quietened down. Many of my friends came to visit me. Just when things were looking ok, the needle in my drip moved, and instead of the glucose going in, blood from my veins started coming out in the tube!! I screeched and screamed, and Paro, who was with me, lost her senses too! Both of panicked and only when the nurse came and fixed it, did we settle down. We could see how much of a nuisance this was for the lady and her husband, so I changed my room in the middle of the night.

The next day I was to go for X Ray and ultrasound. I got up and was ready to walk out when they insisted I sit on the wheelchair. Wheelchair? I told them it was stupid, cuz I am able to walk and all. But they did not listen: they made me sit on it while they wheeled me thru the corridor, into the lift, down to the clinic. And all this while, I, with my coloured hair, painted nails, flower wali chappals, sat on the wheelchair, grinning away while people around me stared.

And so the story continued. Every day they would start streaming in at 6 in the morning, gimme injections, medicines, food.... and people from my college would keep coming and going. The best part of the stay was that I was perfectly healthy, and could move around, not much pains... and yes... lotsa CHOCOLATES!!! (Not to forget... no classes/quizzes/studies for 3 days!!) But this also earned me the title of "Fraud Patient"... people came to my room, and were shocked to see me smiling, moving around etc. They actually said " FIDOE, behave like a patient. Lie down with a sad face." But I just could not do that. I would talk, watch Friends on the lappy, read books... chitchat with the nurses (they taught me gujja n I taught them hindi)...

But there was a problem,: Every time someone asked what happened to me, I would not know what to say. Finally after a million tests they said that my liver was malfunctioning. Later they told me that some medicine I was taking, had resulted in this malfunction, and they asked me to discontinue that "DRUG". So whenever I told this to someone, they immediately quipped "FIDOE stop drinking and taking drugs!!" Bahut khinchayi kari. They put my screaming-at-the-sight-of-the-drip incident on Dbab. But all in all, my friends were a great help, and did a lot for me. And I am very thankful to them for that.

that's all... After 3 days I paid up the hospi and came back on Friday, back to the rigor: which started with the WAC report due on Saturday! Tho hospital trips are usually not very nice, I sure did enjoy this one!
;-)))

A Quick Headsup on Whatsup with me...

2006-04-13T16:50:00.000+05:30

Hey there everyone!
I know I havent written in a while, even though i promised... but I'm getting there. There will be lots coming up, now that we have an extended weekend!
As for whatsup with me, I am thru with exams (finally), have become a tuchchi (hopefully) and have started my internship at GENPACT, Delhi.
The office is 15 mins away from home, people are nice, my boss likes me, the work is chilled out... and I am enjoying!! The only problem is that I have an afternoon shift: 4 pm to post midnight! But even that is not a problem: after spending one year at IIMA, I am freshest and most productive at night only!
Baaki sab great, some more posts coming up... keep visiting!
Tkae care have a nice summers! CIAO!

Crushed!

2006-04-04T03:16:00.000+05:30

Cute looking boy, hair falling on his face, drop dead gorgeous smile, always surrounded by lotsa frenz... yes, such was the guy I had my first crush on... way back in school....

Its an amazing feeling to have a crush on someone! You wanna start you day looking at him, your heart is thrilled when he looks at you, and more so when he smiles! You are totally floored if he comes to talk to you, or gives importance to you by spending lunch time with you instead of his frenz.

You eye him surreptitiously, wondering if he is looking at you. When he answers in class, you look up at him dreamily and proudly. your copies are full of hearts with your and his initials, and so is your desk: full of scratches and scribbles!

When you hear from someone he was talking about you, your happiness knows no bounds. An electric shock runs down your body when he accidentally brushes against you, shakes your hand, or holds it during some sport/event etc. (or winks with a naughty grin).

You are willing to go an extra 100 miles to hang out with, talk to or help him. You consciously keep checkin your appearance in the mirror, hoping your clothes and hair look fine, and you look cute enough!

Listening to his voice is heavenly. You run to receive every call that comes, and wait by the phone impatiently for hours if you are expecting his call. When you hear about rumours of you having a crush on him, you feign surprise or anger, but are secretly thrilled, especially if he doesnt mind! You leave anonymous notes and cards for him, and think all sweet anonymous cards/notes for you are from him. (Who else could it be? ;))

In true bollywood style, you have already started to think you are in love and will marry him. You imagine being Mrs XYZ, name your kids, dream up your future!

Until one fine day you see him walking hand in hand with another girl. At first you dismiss her as another friend. But then you see them kissing at the end of class. That is when your heart breaks with a clatter, and you wake up to reality and get back to your mundane life. Swearing you will never indulge in all this crap again...

But soon enough, this really sweet and cute guy comes along... he is a new guy in school, all lost. And who should he come to for help? You of course! His killer smile and the twinkle in his eyes take your breath away.. and your heart skips a beat... There you go again!!!

These are a few of my favourite things!

2006-03-27T19:51:00.000+05:30

these are a few of my favourite things... some sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings... some of them i have experienced, some of them i havent, but would love to. thay are not in any order... i kept writing as and when a thot came to my mind... what are some of your favourite things? do lemme know!

winter morning sun
sunrise/sunset colours
rippling waters of the ocean/calm lake
waves splashing on your feet
birds flying in a formation over the horizon
dewdrops on plants in the morning
walking on the wet grass barefeet early morning/late night
beautiful colours of flowers / butterflies
voice of cuckoos, dancing peacocks
birds feeding their lil ones
kittens/puppies playing with each other... in fact all baby animals
smile of a baby... or a sleeping baby
cute lil toddlers wearing cute shoes n dresses, running around, shrieking with laughter!
toothless smile of the old
the glow on the face of a couple in love, a pregnant woman or a new mother!
sunlight streaming in teh room late afternoon/ moonlight late night..
the smell of your favourite dish, just when you are damn hungry!
finding money unexpectedly in your old jeans pocket
running into your old long lost friend and realising that you can still pick up from where you started
a sweet smile or compliment from a stranger
your guy unconsciouslyholding your hand while you both are crossing a road
no queues!!
no quizzes at IIMA!!!
Saral Da's OM classes
a song dedicated to you on tv/radio
soeone calling/messaging/mailing just to say they miss ya
someone admitting they have a crush on you
Sanjeev Kumar... oooh!! [too bad he is dead :( ]
mountains covered with flowers!
scooping up snow in your hand
bathing in the rain, then having hot tea and samosas!
the feel of a baby's skin
losing weight, however little! ;)
earning your first salary, and getting gifts for your loved ones
being proposed in public, unexpectedly, with the guy down on his knees, a ring in hand...
walkin on the beach at night, barefoot, in teh moonlight
sound of the bell announcing the end of day at school/college
tasty sams, aloo parathas, mangoes, lichis...
kadhi chawal, rajma chawal, chhole bhature... and the likes!
my doggie when she licks me on my nose!
floating in a pool, on your back, under the sun, with a drink and a book in your hand..
squirrel nibbling on nuts
a cheetah charging towards his prey... running smoothly and gracefully
winning a contest, game, lottery..
your best friend's / your own wedding
your best friend/you yourself in love! :)
sitting on the couch, with your legs propped up on the table, with a pack of popcorns and a glass of chilled pepsi, watching your fav movie!
riding a bike, gliding, with teh wind in your face..
your best friend's shoulder when u need to cry
BLOGGING!! :))

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder

2006-03-17T17:06:00.000+05:30

After a hectic week at office, I managed to get a weekend off, and rush back to meet my family in Delhi. On that idyllic Sunday, when I entered Cafe Coffee Day to grab a cuppa Irish Coffee, I bumped into a long-lost good friend, Tanuj. We used to be at school together. After leaving school, we went to different colleges to pursue higher studies, and soon lost touch. That day, I met him after almost 7 years! After lots of oh-my-god-is-it-really-you expressions, we sat down to catch up with each other, and fill each other in with everything that was happening in each other's life. Apparently he was there with a friend, (someone I did not know) Arjun. He was sitting on the chair, wearing sunglasses, dressed in smart trousers and a crisp shirt. He was quietly sitting, and smiled towards me when Tanuj introduced us.

I sat there, talking to Tanuj, while Arjun sat, listening. Not once did he talk. Tanuj told me he had married Sana, his school sweetheart... Sana! That amazingly beautiful babe, model-like in her beauty, I was sure she was gonna make it big in Bollywood! I congratulated him, and told him I was very happy for them, and that he was lucky to have found such a beautiful bride. He looked at me and smiled, saying " Well, a good looking guy like me, has to get a beautiful bride. She is good, but not half as good looking as I am! She is the one who is lucky here!!" And he burst out laughing. Tanuj... he hadn't changed. The same ol' good looking tho very egoistic guy. Got a pretty and smart girl... and gave himself all the credit.

I had had enough of Tanuj so I steered the conversation towards Arjun. I asked him if he had some woman in his life. He smiled and blushingly admitted... "Yes, I do have a sweet gal in my life, and we just got married last month!!" I congratulated him, and urged him to tell me more about this girl. He said -

" Her name is Sanya. She is the most beautiful creature made by God. Her beautiful almond shaped eyes, the long black cascading mane of hair, the flawless skin, luscious rose-red lips, slender neck, full figure, petite hands with long fingers and pretty nails, long legs and the prettiest feet ever... every dress, every cloth, every style, every colour suits her. She never needs any makeup, flowers, jewellery... she is a natural beauty: cherubic, angelic, heavenly. There is no one as beautiful as her, she is unique, and I am glad that she is mine!"

I was awed. Never had I heard anyone describe his loved one so passionately, never had I imagined a being so beautiful, and never had I seen love soooo deep... I sat there, quitely, drinking in the image of the woman he created, when Arjun interrupted my thots and said -
"Would you like to see a picture of my beloved?" I nodded my head in agreement, eager to look at this heavenly beauty. Arjun took out a picture from his wallet and handed it over to me. And I looked at him standing next to his beloved: A Plain, rather not good-looking short, dark and plump woman... I thought he gave me the wrong picture. Before I could say anything, Arjun said that he just remembered he had an important work to do and had to leave asap. He got up and left in a jiffy, forgetting the photo behind. I showed Tanuj the pic, waiting for an explanation. He just smiled at me and said -

"Yes, she is the same girl he was talking about... Sanya. They have been together, in love for almost 15 years now, even tho Arjun is blind by birth, she happily married him. They are totally in love with each other... they are really the most beautiful couple I have ever seen... Hats off to them yaar!!"

And I looked at the picture, nodding in agreement: She really was the most beautiful woman, and they were the most beautiful couple ever!!

A shiver running down my spine... and my table, bed, room...

2006-03-08T01:38:00.000+05:30

Wednesday, March 8th, 2006, at 12:00 am an earthquake of intensity 5.6 on Richter scale hit Gujarat. No casualties reported, though the aftermath of the 2001 episode has people terrorised still.

My experiences....

I have lived in Delhi for 22 years, and have experienced many earthquakes.
Nothin serious ever happens there. Gujarat one was the worst earthquakes I have ever experienced.
And one before that... the day "dil se" and "volcano" movies were being telecast on TV, and around 2 am types there was a major earthquake at the precise moment when the volcano burst in "volcano" and bomb blast happened in "dil se"... people actually thot the tremors were special effects!

Earlier I never used to realise an earthquake was happening. Mom n Dad used to come to my room.... and ask if i was ok... cuz there was an earthquake. But i had no clue.
Over the years, I became good at detecting tremors...
But lately kuch zyada hi ho gaya hai..
Every now n then I feel tremors.....

A coupla days ago at IIMA at 4 in the mornin I was roused from my sleep cuz of what I thot was an earthquake.. sleepily I checked rediff n all to see if there is any news of earthquake.
kuch nahin tha... and i heard no screams so I went back to sleep.

Today again I was sleepin when the tremors hit My bed and every thing around me was moving... and I told myself "Beta Aditi...so jaa... phir se you are imagining it..." and I was going back to neverneverland when there were harder tremors... and then shouts...
And I was happy!! For the first time... I was right! This Time it was ACTUALLY an earthquake... and not a figment of my imagination!! Excited, I ran out....
Usually I am very very scared of such things....
But today, when Earthquake in Gujarat happened.. (earthquake and Gujarat
together in a sentence make me shudder), I was anything but tensed!!
Very happily I climbed out of bed and ran upstairs in the open, and a few minuted later, came back to my room, and settled in my bed, smiling :)

But jokes apart, I am glad everyone is ok here.. and hope that's the case everywhere!!

Roadtrip!!

2006-03-01T16:28:00.000+05:30

It was a cool day in December. With end term exams coming up in the near future, we were bored of mugging... and decided we had to have some action in life. So it was decided. We were going to have a road trip to a nearby archaeological site: Lothal. Now I know even you have forgotten your class 6 history lessons... Lothal was one of the port cities of the Mohenjodaro-Harrappan civilization, located about 60 km from Ahmedabad. We got the directions, arranged for bikes, the drivers and pillions, and decided to set out on a fine Saturday afternoon. Why afternoon you ask? Cuz baby, this is IIMA: we have classes on Staurday as well! :(

Anyway so we got everything ready, got over with classes, had lunch, and set out. This trip introduced me to some new people: a guy I had only heard of but never really known - Danko. Another guy, who I didnt know was even a student - Vikas! Anyhow after hurried introductions, hajaar instruction, rules, regulations and much deliberation we finally started off: MaNac and Dhamki, PG and Mirchi, Vikas and BV, Danko and ME!

We reached the highway, and turned right. We kept going on, smoothly, 4 bikes: 3 gals and 5 guys... with hair flowing in the breeze, sailing on the smooth Gujarat highway roads. After about 45 minutes, we were nearing Gandhinagar when PG decided to ask one of the localites if we were on the right way. This is how the conversation went.

PG: "Bhaisaab, yeh Lothal jaane ke liye sahi raasta hai?"
Guy: "Kya??"
PG: "Bhaisaab, yeh Lothal jaane ke liye sahi raasta hai?"
Guy: "Kya keh rahe hain aap? Lothal? Arre bhaiya, yeh raasta Lothal nahin jaata!"
PG: "Kya baat kar rahe hain?
Guy: "Aap log galat aa gaye hain... Lothal Amdavad ke doosri taraf hai..."
And he walked away, leaving us all stumped.

We had gone the wrong way! It was already 3:30 pm, and we had lost almost 1 hour, in the wrong direction. We would need another 45 minuted to just get back to Ahmedabad! We quickly got all the bikes rounded up and took a poll: What to do? Go back and go home, or visit Gandhinagar and Akshardham etc., or actually go ahead with Lothal anyway? We all decided we had enough enthu to continue with Lothal, no matter how fruitless it could get. So off we went, about turn forward march, back to Ahmedabad and on to Lothal.

We raced the bikes. Forgotten were all the rules of "no driving above 80 kmph". But it was fun, reeeally fun! A lil too sunny, and the wind would make your eyes water, but it was one hellava ride! The roads were well maintained, divided, with very little traffic.

As far as I consciously remember, I have hardly ever sat on a two wheeler, leave alone own one. So in teh beginning I was a bit skeptical about putting my life in someone's hand, but then i thot "what the heck.." But I did not regret the decision: Danko drives really well, and it was great fun! On the way, we almost ran over a dog which suddenly came in the way... but thank god for Danko's reflexes... nothing happened to any of us!

On the way, I was enjoying the sights and the scenery... after a few factories, all we had around us were trees and fields, smooth roads, cooooold wind, and beautiful weather! I could not help noticing the ads for an engine oil called "Laal Ghoda". It reminded me of a particular brand of tea which seems very popular in Rajasthan. Its called "Laal Ghoda Kala Ghoda Chai"! Everytime I went to Jaipur, I saw hordings, bullock carts, buildings etc... everything short of humans painted with this Ad!!

Anyhow after a fast and furious ride, when we were trying to race the sun (cuz if we were too late there was danger of the museum and site being closed down for the day), we somehow managed to reach Lothal at 5:45 pm. And guess what? it closed down like 15 mins ago!! We got down, and talked to some employees sitting around, hoping to get in. We begged, and even offered bribe, but they would not agree. Not cuz of any other reason but that they did not have the keys. The officer took them and went to Ahmedabad. The gate to the excavated site and museums were locked. Since there was no way we could get in the museum, we jumped over the fence surrounding the site.

It was deserted. And actually quite an anti-climax. Not as amazing as we thot... quite derelict and decrepit... some wells, some kitchens, some baths... The so called houses were too small to qualify as a full fledged house. However, as mentioned in my history textbook, I did notice that the structures were in proper right angles and the drainage system was amazing! (Better than IIMA I'm sure... everytime it rains the whole institute is flooded! Louis Kahn forgot to make drains it seems... ) We had a lot of fun taking digs at the Harrappan Civilization, making fun of everything around us, weaving imaginary scenarios and stories... when PG says "People, beware. The atmas of Lothal may not like all this... the bhatakti atmaas may tak revenge!!" Anyway, after hanging around for 20 mins or so, suddenly a guy materialised from nowhere. He said he was Harish, one of the caretakers. He said he jumped over the fence too, and showed us around. Explained the whole structure, very passionately. PG, the ghost-crazy guy was convinced that teh Harappan spirits had sent him to stop us from making fun and giving us gyaan!

After some time, it was around 7, and we were getting hungry, and there was no way we could reach the insti on time and have dinner in the mess, so we asked Harish if he could arrange for some food. He said that there were hardly any houses nearby: Lothal is a pretty dead place. It would take a lot of time for anyone to get food from any place. But he agrred to go look for it anyway. We thought of having a bon-fire. We asked him if we could get some sticks etc. He just nodded and went away. We waited for him for 15 mins, but no sign. We called out for him, but it seemed that he had disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared.

Bas, phir kya tha, PG was back in his Bhootiya mood.. "Guys lets narrate scary stories.." It was getting dark. We were on the way back to the well where we kept our helmets etc. when we saw a neat pile of sticks... as if conjured from thin air! When we arrived here, it wasnt there. And here it was, sitting happily, as if it had been there all this while. And there was no way Harish could have set it up, cuz he was nowhere to been seen for miles. We wondered how it came there, but gav eup soon and lit a nice crackling fire. Danko got a bedsheet, which we spread on the grass, and lay down, to look at the stars.

The sky was soooo beautiful!! Never had i seen so many stars, twinkling in the sky... we also spotted quite a few satellites. After a coupla futile tries of narrating scary stories, and some bakarr, we decided it was nearing 7:30 and it was high time we leave. It was decided we would have dinner at some road-side dhaba. So we packed our stuff, put out the fire and jumped out, and went off.

We reached the highway and saw 2 dhabas: one did not have food, the other had some stuff, made for the owners. But one look at our hungry faces and the guy agreed to arrange for some food somehow! He finally got us some weird dal, pyaaz aur aloo sabzi, another weird looking dish, a dish made of farsaan, and tasty parathas, with achaar and salad! We dint care what we were eating: we just gulped everything down with gusto! It was one of the most fulfilling tho weird meals of my life!

After a hearty meal, around 9 pm we got back on the bikes and had a freeeeeezing trip back! As usual, I was being my "i-dont-feel-cold" self.. and was wearing floaters and a single sweatshirt! I almost froze the death!! But the experience was fun all the same! On the way back, we clicked our pics in the darkness: 3 headlites shining on the dark roads... all in line.. it was beautiful! By 10:45 or so, we were back in the campus. Snug in our rooms, after a hot bath! Boy! Was that one hellava Raodtrip! It was my first and the best ever trip!!

Since you have gone...

2006-02-07T02:44:00.000+05:30

Since you have gone
The flowers have lost their colour
The birds dont sound sweet anymore
The sun has lost its warmth
The moon has lost its glow
Since you have gone

Since you have gone
The mornings dont feel refreshing
The nights are so depressing
Life is so empty and hollow
Each day is difficult to swallow
Since you have gone

Since you have gone
No touch feels as gentle
No word sounds as kind
No one seems to be my own
I am simply losing my mind
Since you have gone..

comin up shortly...

2006-01-31T15:33:00.000+05:30

hey all...
i have been extremely busy with this and that..
i am in teh middle of 4 new posts....
do bear with me and keep checking, ill come up with new posts asap!
thnx!

Philadelphia...

2005-12-07T22:17:00.000+05:30

One night, after finishing with my studies, I decided to go to sleep. But since I’m suffering from some kind of insomnia these days, I wasn’t particularly sleepy, and decided to finish watching a movie I was watching last week: Philadelphia.

Its an old movie starring Tom Hanks, and for those who don’t know about it, its about a man called Andrew Becket who is a brilliant lawyer with a great future until his law firm discovers he is gay and is suffering from AIDS, and they fire him, although on the pretext that he was incompetent (which they proved by deliberately jeopardising his work). So he decides to go to the court for wrongful termination. After a long and painful court battle, he emerges victorious, and is awarded around 5 million dollars by the jury. However, he is unable to enjoy any of it, cuz he dies soon after.

After I finished watching the movie, which by the way is extremely well made with excellent performances by Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks (a must watch for all those who haven’t seen it yet), I thought about the underlying message in the movie: about the general attitude of people towards homosexuals and AIDS, which could range from strong hatred and disapproval to apathy, to sympathy to.. And who knows… Even empathy.

But there rose a number of questions and concerns in my mind.

Some of us, including myself, feel that there is nothing wrong in being gay, and that it’s ok to hang around with a person suffering from AIDS. We are educated people who know that no way will hanging out with anyone with AIDS will infect us. Or being friends with homosexuals will change our orientation. We can easily say that we are very sensitive and tolerant etc etc. (as long as no one around us is in that position)

However, I wonder, how many of us have actually come across and personally known a gay/AIDS patient?If we were to meet one, are we sure we would not flinch when he shakes hand with us? Or when we have stay with him, eat with him etc.? Would we accept him as easily as we accept other friends? Just cuz he has AIDS?

And what about homosexuality... would the guys be ok with hanging around such a guy? Or would they fear being branded a gay themselves if they hang around one? Would they really make friends with him, have the minimum physical contact with him? Or would they be afraid he may try to take advantage?

Would we accept that our children are gay, happily???? Would we allow them to choose their sexual orientation? How would we react if we come to know tomorrow that our best friend is actually gay? And he wants to "stay with/marry" his partner? Would we still continue the same relation?Would we really?? (Everywhere one can substitute his with her and gay with lesbian)

I'm not even going into the Indian Penal code which says that homosexuality is a CRIME. There are still many many countries in this world where homosexuality is a taboo and gay marriages are banned. But the awareness and tolerance is rising slowly. However as far as individual acceptance and tolerance is concerned, I'm not sure.

If you ask me, I do not have an answer to these questions. Cuz the fact of the matter is I have never had a very near and dear one suffering from AIDS nor have I ever personally known, seen, talked to a homosexual person. So I don’t know how I would react if someone very close to me was gay and/or had AIDS.

But I do know that we all are glad no one like that is around us. We make fun of gays, we term every pansy looking guy a gay, and we find it difficult to accept 2 guys holding hands. I don’t know what it says about us. Are we tolerant? Or we pretend to be? Can we really tolerate? Or will this expected tolerance fail when we are faced with such a person in reality?

I don’t know. Do u?

A Movie of its kind....(sensitivity disclaimers..!!)

2005-12-07T01:58:00.000+05:30

Just this weekend, i was chilling around with some of my classmates.
One turned up late, saying that he was busy watching an EPIC movie.
When he told which movie it was, everyone (3 guys) except me started laughing,
and i had no clue what teh big deal was!
And then one of them suggested: "Why dont we show Fidoe what an epic movie it is!"
And then began the search for the most poetic and ultimate Mithunda movie: GUNDA!!!

We went to DC++, LAN etc... downloaded part 1, and since we could not wait, we
downloaded the right software to watch it while it was being downloaded.
I was advised to watch only the first 20 mins of the movie.... when it is D- grade,
rest of the movie its C grade.

So i began my journey into the world of GUNDA, and what a world it was!!
Every single guy I saw, I had seen before in previous, good, decent, perfectly
respectable movies.....
And here they were, in this stupid movie, in stupid locales and situations,
doing stupid things, acting stupidly, mouthing ridiculous (and sometimes
downright OBSCENE) dialogues.....
but it was worth it, the peotic, rhyming dialogues, kinds of which would put
Keats, Shakespeare, Wordsworth to shame!!!!
Every moment of the first 20 mins was a laugh riot!!

Every character had an entry dialogue.....

"Mera naam hai bulla, main rakhta hoon khulla.."
now, he keeps WHAT khulla, i dunno!! ;))

"mera naam hai chutiya (as in the hindi word for ponytail, not teh abuse), main
khadi karta hoon sabki khatiya"

"naam hai mera ibu hatela, maa meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitan ka chela...khayega kela??"

"mera naam hai potey, jo apne baap ke bhi nahin hotey"

Then there are some stupid dialogues like...
"oye neta, kaam ki baat bata, jiske liye tu dilli se billi ka doodh peekar aaya hai!!"

when bulla's sis is murdered, the senti speech of her bro:
"munni, meri behen munni, to tu mar gayi? lambu aata ne tujhe lamba kar diya?
maachis ki tilli ko khamba kar diya? maine tere liye 300 ladke dekhe the..
lekin tu to katela gurda, yani murda ho gayi??

So bulla kills lambu aata to take revenge, and another character tells him...
"bulla toone khullam khulla lambu aata ko maut ke tave par senk diya, uski
laash ko worli ke gutter mein phenk diya!"

When mithun gets the villain arrested, the villain says this on his way to jail...
"tujhe banake maut ke mooh ka nivala... tere seene mein gaad dunga maut ka bhala!!"

Potey is threatening mithun:
"zyada badbad karke apni zindagi mein gadbad mat kar!"

But i think the best dialogue award goes to (pardon me for using the language...)

"Gangwar shuru ho gaya hai... ab laashen aise tapkengi, jaise chhote bachche ki
nuni se pishab tapakti hai... tap tap tap..!!"

It was crazy... watchin these 20 mins.... the rest of the movie is not worth watchin.....
It was one hellavan experience!
Do try watchin it if u havent already... u will know what i mean!!
:)))

Why does GoDu go boing-boing??

2005-11-05T20:43:00.000+05:30

(APA referencing: Oka's post on D company NB in response to Kaka's question...)

Dr. John was a charming chap. He was an orthopaedic surgeon at the Care Nursing
Home in Ahmedabad. He was a pretty good surgeon but as a husband he was
unfaithful to his wife.

He had a raging affair going on with one of the nurses in his hospital.
That particular day the nurse was very attractively dressed. She had all the
charm of a lady - a terrific hairstyle, short miniskirt, a suave handbag and a
yapping dog.

Although John was immediately ensnared by her looks, he didnt look kindly upon
the idea of bringing a dog to the hospital.

"Why did you have to bring this devil to the hospital. You know the amount of
mischief he does. You cant even tie him up. He'll bark his lungs out and
distrub all the patients."

"Honey, dont worry about it. I will hold him and keep him quiet."
"Ok" said John, as he turned towards another nurse approaching him.
"Doctor, there's an emergency case for you to operate on. I think it is a case
of a bone or joint transplant."
"I will be there in a minute." says John.

John and his lover nurse get ready for the operation by getting into their
gear. They had to take the dog to the operation theater as well.
"Now look what you have got us into. What do we do about this dog?"
"I'll ask him to sit and he'll sit quietly in one corner as long as I am
standing near him. Dont worry."

1 hour later, they are right in the middle of the operation. The patient did
require a transplant. John and his group of nurses manage to take out the
offending bone and keep it in a weird looking liquid in a jar.

This was the point when the doctor suddenly gets horny. He excuses himself from
other nurses and pulls his lover along. They go to a neighbouring room and
umm... well.. have a different kind of operation.

The dog, now finding that there's no one to control him, goes berserk. He leaps
onto the table and takes the bone in the jar and starts chewing on it like
crazy.

The lover was the first to return. She sees what the dog has done and gets one
hell of a shock. Before John could return she grabs the half chewed bone from
the dog and puts it back in the jar. She spanks the jar and makes him sit in
one corner again. She's just set things right when the doctor walks in. She
breathes a sigh of relief.

They complete the operation successfully.
After the patient is recovered completely, John congratulates him.
"So, Mr. Godu, you are completely fine now."
"Yes. Thanks to your professional skill and God's blessings. I am completely
safe. I will take your leave now."

Godu walks out of the entrance, stands for a second, breathes in the air and
goes... boing.

That was his first boing.

Class Farticipation?

2005-10-01T03:45:00.000+05:30

(some excerpts from the most arbit CPs and funny events, courtesy D Co.)

Dash-isms
-----------

Prof: Arabind DASH, is it??

Dash: No ma’am its Daash but its ok. I’m used to everyone mispronouncing it since school times.

Prof: No it’s ok; we will call you by your proper name.

Dash: Please don’t ma’am; I am more comfortable with Dash now!!

MANAC: arbit CP
------------------

Dash: My production does not depend on how much i produce.....

Marketing:
------------

Shveta: Solar cookers need less oil etc, so we can target the old people, or heart patients cuz they need minimum oil in food..

Dash: Yes, with the heart patient market in India growing....

Momo: We must promote monsoon so more people visit our resort during monsoon

Dash: Yes, we can have a rain dance for them..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Challenge CPs!!!

CCPs for the day: Spiderman, Superman, SubSaharan, villages croppin up, Oka/Karthik!

Prof: what should we name our cement brand?

Prostee: We should name it Oka/Karthik cement, after Lord Karthik, the God of
Construction (Erection!!)

Student: Instead of Mukhiyas and all we must concentrate on other people like the masons.

Prostee: No, we should definitely concentrate on the Mukhiya, after all he is SUPERMAN for the people!!

Khakee: Madam its not about being a SPIDERMAN or SUPERMAN, its to do with......(blah blah blah)

and above all, our Uncle Shobhit aka Thoku

Uncle: No one is Superman. With villages cropping up in India, we must move away from this Sub- Saharan region, and ...... (etc etc etc)

(Will keep updating this space, so keep checkin!!)

Nostalgia - 2

2005-10-01T03:37:00.000+05:30

(this is my favourite and the best poem i write when i was young..)

Present day problems,
Which keeps us busy,
When faced by me,
I really feel dizzy!

Water problems, air problems,
Food problems, place problem,
So much pollution, so much confusion,
Is made by our huge population.

Forests are cleared, trees are cut,
Many people are happy, but-
What about the destroyed nature?
Will it become earth's worse feature?

Nostalgia - 1

2005-10-01T03:34:00.000+05:30

(this is the first poem i ever wrote!!)

My horse is very gay,
He eats oats and hay,
He takes us for a ride,
And in the stable he is tied.

He is something like a mule,
But he doesnt run on fuel,
Babies are called foal,
and sometimes they are coloured coal!

:))

Another Day Without you... (II)

2005-09-23T13:44:00.000+05:30

Another day,
Another day without you,
Towake up to the dull morning sun,
The senseless chirping birds,
The lifeless colourful flowers.

To begin yet another day/ week/ month,
Without your smile to brighten up the morning,
Without your deep intense eyes to lull me to sleep in the afternoon,
Without your soft feather touch to rouse me in the evening,
Without your luscious lips to kiss me good night.

I yearn for you, your touch, your kiss,
I yearn for your presence in my life,
The only thing which makes it worth living.

But alas, I know,
I know you are not here, you cant be.
And I have to, yet again, spend another day, another hour, another minute, another moment, Without you, waiting for you.
Waiting for the moment when we are together again,
And this time, for ever,
With nothing and no one to tear us apart, ever again.

And thus, I go on and on,
Only so I can finally be with you.
But till then I am alone and incomplete,
For yet another day.

Kaka-isms...

2005-09-21T00:49:00.000+05:30

(Now presenting some of the golden words of Kaka, pka AC pka Arvind Chandrashekhar, a proud D Co. member... Read at your Own RISK!!)

Q: What is the opposite of Dominoes?
A: Domi-doesn’t-know!

Fidoe (at 4 in the morning): Is anyone awake?
Kaka: I am sodium. (Main Hoon ‘Na’!!)
Fidoe (to Kaka in response to his previous response): You are Incorrigible!
Kaka: No, im in D0604!

Flexi: Whats in a name?
Kaka: 4 letters.. a, e, m and n.. in different order though…

Fidoe: I have a nemesis: IC (and sometimes QM)
Kaka: I have a nemebro…

Jerky: BOL
Kaka: Kya bolun?
Jerky: Kuch nahin, bas sun.
Kaka: kyun, moon kyun nahin?
Jerky: aaj AMAVASYA hai!!
Kaka: Nahin aaj monday hai!!

(when Moti made some comment)

Prostee: Moti, mug le beta!
Kaka: Moti mug le Niche!!
(CCCF: Beta: fin club, Niche: Mktg club!)

Prostee: Aaj main upar, aaj main Niche..
Kaka: Aaj subsidiary upar, aaj subsidiary Niche!
Prostee: Aaj subsinoteboook upar, aaj subsinotebook Niche!
Kaka: Aaj kuchsinotebook upar, aaj kuchsinotebook Niche!
Prostee: Aaj kuchsicoinbook upar, Aaj kuchsicoinbook Niche!
........................................ (and it goes on n on n on)
Prostee: Stop! it looks like some language spoken in the rainforests!
Kaka: ra-out forest!
Flexi: reddy-ut forest!
Khakee: Blue-dyut forest!
Kaka: Bluedyut fo-works!
Flexi: bluedyut fo-unrest!
Kaka: bludyut fo-worldbank-rest!

(Im thinking of renaming this post as Kaka-isms and Prostee-isms....)

Santosh(the day before announced eco quiz): i predict there will be a quiz tomorrow!
Prostee: you are like lifeless boozevendor...(bejan daruwala!!)

Lusty: Ive lost my roon keys, so if anyone sees it let me know.
Kaka: whats the room no.?
Lusty: its D-2030.. how does it help?
Kaka: just in case i find it lying about, or telling the truth about...!!!

Q: What would you be called if you were seeing Kammo???
A: A-Kammo-dating!!

Oka: Dont remind me of eco.
Pondy: eco eco eep eep
eco eco eep eep
Kaka: You sound like the roadrunner suffering from hiccups!

An apprehensive and tensed Shyam posts on the D Co nb at 1:15 pm-
Shyam: Quiz?
Kaka: No, thanks!

Mishti: Group 2 takes Non-Life Insurance for marketing assignment.
Kaka: why? you think your project will be that bad??

(I dunno the origin of this one, but nevertheless...)
Q: If Preeta Vyas is teaching us marketing pre-mid-term, who is gonna teach us post-mid-term?
A: Post-a Vyas!

(I am in the process of getting more inputs, and will keep posting as and when I get something. So keep checking this space for updates on Kaka-isms...)

Once upon an IC class...

2005-08-27T04:17:00.000+05:30

It was a normal beginning to a normal day. The IC class started, and so did Shilpa: sleeping!! Not even one minute had passed by, of the very first class, but Shilpa was already off to her dreamland. She beat Chhedi to it, who joined her in a matter of minutes. Kaka in any case has sworn never to stay awake in any IC class! No wonder Kaki and Kaka are made for each other. With her hand supporting her chin, she kept dozing off, but not as explicitly as Kaka.

Sam looked very dazed, with uncombed hair, eyebrows raised, eyes wide open, trying to stay up, but unable to keep them open for more than 5 seconds at a time! Kudos to Rohit. He started sleeping after a full 30 minutes!! Rahul was a sight to see. His head supported by his hand, propped up on his elbow, he kept nodding in agreement to everything the Prof was saying, but with his eyes closed.

Even Noni, our IC stud, was finding it difficult to keep her eyes open. Atul joined the group soon with Hermy and Fifo. Arijit, bored of the class cuz he always knows everything, in fact much more than what is being discussed, decided to use his precious time more effectively by catching up on his beauty sleep.

Another sight was Kushagra: sitting at one end of the row, with his glasses in place, he was staring at the screen, albeit with his eyes closed!! Diptesh actually put his head down and slept off. Bas! As if the whole class was waiting for this! As soon as the lights were switched off, many people stopped pretending and put their head down to sleep peacefully and comfortably, including Kainchee, Lifty, and Ludo. Pondy Singh is good with camouflages. One look and you think his head is bent down, reading the text profusely. Look carefully: he is actually enjoying his trip to fantasyland! One of the most serious sleepers of the class is Mishti, who sleeps as if she is meditating or in some trance, in spite of the comical antics of the Prof!

The best part of it all was when I was writing all of this and the Prof Cold called me to explain the solution to a little problem he had written, but I had no clue about! I was too busy writing, and pretending to understand everything. Thank god that IC is based on logic, and I was able to give some arbit answer, that too all thanks to Fugga, who murmured some weird things behind the Prof’s back!

Long live (doze?) the D Company sleepers! D Company rocks!

Without you...(I)

2005-08-22T03:04:00.000+05:30

Another day.
Another day has ended.
Without seeing your divine face,
Without my heart skipping a beat,
Without losing myself in a trance, listening to your sweet voice,
Without feeling the warmth of your breath on my neck,
Without the comfort of your touch.
Another day.

Another night.
Another night has come and gone.
Another night of solitude.
Of an empty bed, of going to sleep in my own arms.
Here I am, ending my day on a lonely note,
Wondering about my fortune, had you been here.
Yearning for you, wishing you were here,
Right here, right now.
Missing you desperately.
Pray tell me why do I love you so??

T(he) NITE!!!

2005-08-11T12:53:00.000+05:30

Time: 4 am
Place: CR 10
Situation: Dozens of students, poring over their work, books etc; working hard, racing their minds…

Is this an extra class?? Heck no! It’s T-Nite time folks!!

Now what is this T-Nite?? Is it some dinner party?
Actually no. It has nothing to do with food. Nor is it a single night.
T-Nite is that week of the PGP1 calendar when all sections get ready to face each other in competition, where the talent of the batch and the unity and bonding of the class are judged.

T-Nite at WIMWI is synonymous with enthusiasm, energy, sleeping in class and loads of fun. It is that time when all classmates get to know each other, something that they did not get enough time to do before. This is evident from the fact that till now many of us did not know the names/dorm names of many of our classmates, or had spoken to them for the first time. But it is never too late. The foundation for the bond which we would share over the next two years is laid during this very eventful week.

Apart from bringing people together, T-Nite also acts as a platform for students to display their talents, be it dancing, singing, mimicry, sketching, acting or simply velagiri!! There is a lot of fun, masti, jokes and nautanki going on at all times.

Typically, after classes, the section gets together and prepares for the upcoming performances and events, often until the wee hours of the morning. So it is not unusual to find people eating, drinking, studying and even sleeping in the classroom. They stay here all day, leaving only for meals, trips to the loo, sleeping, and of course to talk to their GFs/BFs in private!! Loads of coffee, tea and cigarettes are consumed in an effort to stay up as long as possible.

In spite of being well aware of the fact that the T-Nite takes so much of our time and effort, the professors are relentless. We have to keep up with studies and be prepared for surprise quizzes. So how do the students manage to keep up, given the hectic schedule? Once again the dynamics and synergy of the class come together. For each lecture, some students study the case beforehand and take remedial sessions for the benefit of the whole class. So no matter how hard the professors try to cold call, most students are well prepared for the classes. However nothing can be done to avoid the sleepless nights and the sleepy faces, droopy eyes, stifled yawns and falling heads in class the next day. So the students resort to poking sleeping neighbours and diverting the prof’s attention away from them or passing time by asking lotsa pointless questions! :)

T-nite also brings with it physical and mental exertion, loss of sleep and appetite which cause illnesses, disrupting the mood of celebration. But the euphoria of the event is such that the illnesses disappear as quickly as they arrived!!

But T-Nite is a package deal, with its goods and bads. Since it is all about competition, and sometimes it can get ugly. In a bid to outdo the others, sometimes people get carried away and pass remarks, or indulge in actions which provoke or hurt the sentiments of others. But such incidents, by and large are rare, with some amount of bantering accepted by all, in the spirit of celebration.

T-Nite is one event the PGP1s will remember throughout their course, rather throughout their lives. The friendships, relationships forged during this period last a long long time, and for some, a life time. Given the academic pressure at WIMWI, such activities really boost up the morale, enthusiasm energy and performance of the students, in addition to creating a more jovial environment. Each batch enjoys it as much as, if not more than, their seniors. Hope WIMWI continues with this tradition for all years to come!!

3 Cheers for T-Nite!!

Coincidence...

2005-07-19T16:50:00.000+05:30

"Life is full of coincidences..." or so my dear friend Medha once commented.
And i agree with her. All of us at some point or the other come across such amazing coincidences that it becomes difficult to imagine it is all luck, and not especially designed so by the heavenly powers that be!
I have come a across hundreds of coincidences myself, mainly regarding people having the same likes/dislikes, place of residence, thoughts and ideas, names, etc.
But shall I tell you the most fascinating coincidences of all that I have come across??

In my family, my mother is an astrologer, my father is a doctor, and their daughter is called Aditi.
My parents have Kumars as family friends, where Mr. Yogesh is an astrologer, Dr. (Mrs.) Alka is… you guessed it right... a doctor, and they have only one child, a girl, called
Aditi.
Also they have another family as their long time friends: Dr. Charak. It’s obvious by his name that he is a doctor. He is also a practicing astrologer and teacher of the same in Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan. In fact my mom learnt astrology under him only.
And guess what? He has 3 daughters, out of one which is called Aditi!!

3 families, all with a doctor, an astrologer, and a daughter named Aditi! And all 3 know each other! Some coincidence that, isn’t it??

Maine aapko pehle bhi kahin dekha (and sometimes suna) hai...

2005-07-19T16:29:00.000+05:30

I suffer from this irritating habit of associating strangers/new acquaintances’ faces with people I already know. One month at IIMA and I already have look-alikes of Gaurav’s brother Saurav, my school friend Nishu, etc in my class, and I keep telling them how much they resemble my friends… in fact Garima, who looks exactly like Nishu (and she agreed with me when I showed her Nishu’s photo) also sounds exactly like my friend Priyanka!! Is it a coincident that both girls have spent considerable time in Chandigarh??

Not only this, I se a number of faces everyday which remind me of someone or the other. And my fellow-IIMAites would agree with me when I say that we have a ditto copy of Vivek Oberoi in our batch… I mean the guy looks so much like him, it’s not funny!! I’m sure by now he must be sick and tired of people staring at him or telling him he looks like VO!!

They say there are 7 people with the same face as yours in the world, including yourself, which means effectively all of us have 6 look-alikes each. Wow! That’s a lot of humshakals!! I had one… my identical twin sister, but she died when she was 2 weeks old. Since then I have never come across anyone who looks like me, nor have I been told by someone that they know someone who looks like me. Except once I thought a girl who appears in the song “kuku-ku” from the movie “Pyar tune kya kiya” as a fisherwoman looked somewhat like me. That’s the closest anyone has come to resemble me.

I wonder where the rest of the look-alikes are… I’d sure love to meet them someday!!
And then wonder... “Kya hum kumbh ke mele mein bichhad gaye the ya….”
:)

What's going on??

2005-07-19T03:35:00.000+05:30

What’s going on???

Yes, that’s the question I ask myself everyday when I think about my current position and future potential in academics at IIMA…
What with seven subjects in pre mid-term, and 6 going over my head, I am pretty confused!

MANAC: the god of all subjects, it stands for managerial accountancy, but I think it’s a pretty maniacal subject!! I am a commerce student; I have studied accounts till class 12, and thought that MANAC won’t be so hard, but I sure was in for a surprise! I don’t know nuts about what these people are doing in the cases that we get! And the namak on the ghaav is that the engineers here have mastered it faster and better than I ever could! Who says commerce people have an advantage??

Or Eco students: we have a subject called economic analysis. Being a business economics student I was very happy. But the professors here have a way of making your whole life’s studies redundant in an instant: in no time we were showered with concepts I had never even heard of, and deep analyses of cases, which went way OTT! But I guess such are the ways of this institute!

OM: now don’t even start talking about it. Operations management is a very interesting but a highly technical and complicated subject. Now I know many would like to differ with me on this, but frankly it is a little out-of-ordinary for non-engineers… at least for me it is. But I enjoy it a lot, even if I don’t understand it much! ;)

HRM or human resource management is also a subject we had touched upon in school and college, but it been made very interesting by our instructor. He is a little intimidating and condescending, but the way he pulls out HR issues from deep down in the case, is awesome!

QM: now that’s a difficult one: with all the simplex and graphs and excel solvers and equations and network problems etc., I feel pretty lost! But fear not, I have my neighbour, PaRo, who is Eveready to help me out of the Quantitative Methods mess!! Cheers to PaRo!!

Then there is IC (intro to comps): my nemesis. Humse ka bhool Hui Jo ye saza humka mili… now I’m getting outta control… but what to do?? All this excel spreadsheets, complex formulae (IF nestled in AND nestled in MATCH nestled in INDEX… it goes on n on n on...) this subject has the honour of presenting me with y first “?” grade in the term!!

Last but not the least is WAC, or written analysis and communication. It’s basically to help develop and improve business communication skills. It’s a pretty decent course, and we have a real fun instructor: we discuss options available in a particular case, and then write a report on it. The best part is the discussion, where our prof comes up with funny and creative comments on our suggestions etc.!! This really helps ease all the tension which is associated with the WAC report, when everyone is running around to complete it before the stipulated time. The second best part of the course is, the WAC run, wherein all the late bloomers are running to submit the hard copy of their repots, intercepted by our seniors who are trying to delay them ( a delay of even a minute leads to lower grade points!!) and dunk them with water on their way back! Fortunately in our first and only assignment till now, I finished the report and submitted it well in time, but not everyone was lucky. PaRo was wearing her running shoes at 4:20, while getting a printout of her report, and ran all the way to the class room, just in time for the submission!!! It was fun, watching them run and the seniors trouble as well as cheer them!! Thankfully everyone reached on time, even if they were 1 second away from penalty!!

So in a nutshell, these are the subjects I have, and the way I am faring in them... everyday we prepare in advance for our classes (or try to) and attend classes next day (this we HAVE to) and be attentive and not sleep (that also we try very hard to… but….) and what does the PGP office do to reward us? Give us a quiz (read surprise test) almost everyday now!! Now I’m not a religious girl but I sure do hope dear God becomes pleased with me for some reason and showers me with… the answers to all quiz questions!!!

:)

P.S.: Mom Dad, if you are reading this, don't fret... IIMA is not chucking me out just yet!! ;)

Disclaimer: the ideas expressed are totally mine and events described are 100% authentic, though teh inetrpretation may change. Any resemblance to the life of, or reference to a person, living ( hopefully not dead) is not coincidental... i mean it!! Cuz thats how it is here at WIMWI!!

What's in a name??

2005-07-19T02:51:00.000+05:30

Finally the deciding day has come: I have been given my dorm name: FIDOE.
Now don’t go wondering/asking me what it means… its CCCF (Wimwi term, meaning: conceptual clarity and contextual familiarity) is top secret!!
What is interesting is that the word FIDO is related to “dogs” because it comes from fidelity which means trust, loyalty, faith.
This made me search on my name, and I came across lots of information which I did not know. Till date I believed that my name, Aditi, doesn’t have any meaning. It’s the name of a rishi’s wife, who was the mother of devtas or gods in heaven.
But boy! Was I wrong!!! Here is what I came to know about moi:

In Hindu mythology, Aditi was the goddess of the boundless sky. Her name means "free from bonds" or "the unfettered" or "Limitless" and the Vedas hint that she was once all-encompassing. She undoubtedly pre-dates them, and was once “the goddess of the past and the future, the seven dimensions of the cosmos, the celestial light which permeates all things, and the consciousness of all living things.”Aditi, is called the free one, because in Sanskrit her name means "boundless," and is considered an archaic mother goddess, depicted in Hindu, Vedic literature. She represents unlimited space and consciousness, hence infinity or eternity. According to the Rig Veda Aditi is said to be the wife of Kashyapa or of Brahma and the mother of the Aditya, under whose constraint the universe is made possible; and she also personifies death because she consumes everything. She is also considered to be the mother of Hari and other legends have her as the mother of Indra. No human physical features of her are drawn, though she is sometimes identified in the guise of a cow (don’t quite like this bit). Aditi was believed to be a guardian goddess of prosperity and could free her devotees of problems and clear away obstacles.

Wow!! Now I am able to appreciate my name even more! Though its popularity gets on my nerves:
In school it was ok, I was mainly the only Aditi, 1-2 juniors may have shared my name...
But in college, my senior, batch mate, junior: I had 3 Aditis around me!!
And even in IIMA, there are 3 Aditis, one in each dorm!!
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the other Aditis… just that I miss the uniqueness of the name. But I do think it’s a pretty name, whatsay??

IIMAditi

2005-07-03T15:12:00.000+05:30

“All my bags are packed ready to go
I’m standing here outside the door
I hate to wake you up and say goodbye
But the dawn is breaking, it’s early morn
The taxi is waiting; he’s blowing its horn
I’m already so lonely I could die…

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go…

‘Cuz I’m leaving on Rajdhani Express…

Confused??? Something wrong with my lyrics??
No Sir! This is exactly how I felt on June 20th evening (I know my lyrics still say morning... but I did not want to change that) when I was to leave for Ahmedabad to pursue my higher studies.
I had packed 3 suitcases full of all imaginable and unimaginable things, after checking and rechecking and re-rechecking and finally checking one last time everything was in.
And then I left my home… with my doggie barking madly behind closed doors… not sure if I would see either ever again, since my parents may shift home while I’m away, and my doggie, who is very old, may just kick the bucket in my gham!!

Anyway so I finally boarded the train after lots of tearful hugs and kisses to my dad and Gaurav. Mom and Rachit accompanied me to Ahmedabad. I had 2 more IIMA bound people going with me, and met 2 more on the journey.

The journey as such was comfortable, though God knows why I had kept hoping wishing and praying the train would not be derailed/blown up since I was traveling for the first time to the state of Gujarat, which is famous for both natural and man made calamities. (read: riots etc.)

Finally on the morning of June 21st we finally reached Amdavad Junction. We left in a taxi for IIMA campus. Reached there, submitted papers, got my dorm room. Wow! What a surprise! Such small rooms! No comforts, leave alone luxury! The fan was too slow, the room was dusty, no dustbin, broken comp chair, power points not working, and the worst: no mirror in the girl’s dorm rooms!!! Nooooooooo….

“Mommy I want to go home…” is what I wanted to screech out. Nevertheless we began to unpack and set the room. Got the repairs done, cleaned it up, made the room habitable.

Finally we got over with it, and left to search for a suitable hotel for my family to stay in. after half an hour in an auto, we zeroed in on a small hotel, and paid the guy 25 bucks. 25 bucks!!! Can you believe that? I sure can’t! The autos here are soooo cheap; it’s not even funny…

Anyway after settling down we shopped for things that I did not carry. And after all the time, energy and money spent, I was all set for the next two years to come. And then came the day when my family had to leave for Delhi. After lots of tips, caveats, blessings and tears my mom and brother left on June 23rd.

And Aditi Varma was left all alone, in a tiny room, all by herself, amongst a sea of strangers, for the next two years.

Well that’s what happened in the past week. Lots of new faces, names, rules, people, surroundings, responsibilities, odd jobs…
Mom dad brother and Gaurav call up everyday to see how I’m doing.
I miss my house, my loved ones, my friends…everything in Delhi.
But I’m well settled now. I have settled down in this hostel life comfortably, and am gearing up for the extremely hectic but hopefully equally enriching and interesting life at IIMA!

Bank upon them???

2005-06-02T19:37:00.000+05:30

Recently I had to visit a few banks to procure an education loan for my further studies. I had a lot of fliers from different banks with competitive terms and rates of interest. There are many banks who provide financial assistance. However best deals can be had only fom government banks. But since I wanted it for IIM-A, I wasn't very worried. Armed with all documents and confidence, I set out on my quest, sure that they would process it without a hitch. Boy! Was I wrong!!

I first went to the great Indian Bank nearby. Small dingy office, loads of people stuffed in, no water/ac, lots of confusion. Nevertheless my mother and I found our way in, looking for the person dealing with Loans. After a few mins of going from one desk to the other, we finally were guided to the right one, which, alas, was empty.. The officer had chosen that very moment to go for a stroll in the park or something, because we never saw him all the time that we were there. We waited for 15 minutes, than asked where he was. No one, not 1 person, had a clue where he was or why he wasn't on his desk. And no one bothered to find out either.

I looked around me. There were so many people clueless and without guidance. No one was helping them out. There was a very very old lady, who apparently could not speak in hindi. She came alone. Finally a stranger woman, a co-customer, not a bank employee, helped her get to the right individual. I caught some fragments of their conversation. Apparently the old woman had not received pension for the past 6-7 months, and was finding it difficult to survive. The employee said " We dont know. Get the death certificate, employment details, pension/bank details." The old woman was worried: how in the world would she get hold of all this, this frail little lady who could hardly walk???? But the staff was apathetic. They had the " We dont care how you do it, it is your problem, not ours" attitude. Poor thing.

Meanwhile my mother started getting impatient. Although we were told to speak to the officer and not the branch manager, she barged in his room, and started off about my admission and our requirements. The branch manager said " Why have you come here? Go out and talk to teh officer in charge. Don't waste my time." We told him the guy was not available. He called another officer to confirm this. He spoke in a regional language, but his conversation was seasoned with enough english/understandable words for us to deduce he was upset that they let us in, that he did not have time for us. He then delivered the same, saying he was busy, had something very important to do. Mom started to say " My daughter has got through IIM-A. We got a letter from your Ahmedabad branch manager stating that their regional branch would be happy to grant us the loan." With a I could'nt care less tone he said that all this doesnt matter to him. If we needed anything, we would have to come some other time. Goodbye. You can leave now.

Thats it. He did not even offer the two ladies a seat, forget water etc. Whatever little time that he spoke to us, he was curt, almost rude, and he got back to his work. We just looked at him, then at each other, silent, enraged at being dismissed like this, but aware that we didnt have much of a choice. Without a word, we left the premises, vowing never to return.

I was thoroughly disappointed that day. I thought banks were not just about numbers and money, but also people. If you have a customer, isn't it fair you treat them well? Give them reasons why their work is being delayed or they are not being attended to, apologise for inconvenience caused, give other options according to the customer's needs, urgency of matter and convenience. Help those who are not that bank-savvy, instead of avoiding customer queries/difficulties, by absolving themselves of all mistakes and responsibility, passing everything on to the head of the customer!!

I really wanted to tell that guy at Indian Bank "Mr. Manager, you may be hot shot in your bank, but I could teach you a thing or two about customer satisfaction. "

Having worked with American Express and dealing with hundreds of customers everyday, I know how bad it feels when you leave them disapppointed, or how cherished they feel when they are treated well. Treating well doesnt mean give money to the undeserving or doing anything else which lead to a loss, but making the customer feel s/he is cherished, and if they are being told a service NO, giving a solid logical reason. And even then not to despair: there are other options available.

Well thats the way it works at American Express, but not Indian Bank. And thats why both banks are where they are. If they continue like this, they wont be left with too many patrons soon!

My Family Coolest!!

2005-05-21T00:13:00.000+05:30

My Family:
I have my dad who is a 60 year old doctor: an ultrasonologist, a private practitioner.
My mom is a 50 yr old homemaker and an astrologer.
My brother is 19, in college, doing graduation by correspondence from Delhi University and chartered accountancy simultaneously and making a good khichdi out of them both!!
I also have a 12 yr old sister… with a black nose, long brown ears, brown coat and a long hairy tail… no I’ve not fought with her and taking revenge by describing her like this… she realy looks like that: she is my 12 yr old long haired dachshund Tiffany.
Hum Paanch… we live in a little house in Delhi where I’ve been born and brought up.

My dad: the only thing I can say about him is since I have known him, he has always been my grandpa and my mom’s his second wife.
Since they got married… dad has sported white hair… not by choice… genetically he suffers with premature greying of hair.
So ALL my friends always thought he is my grandpa.
Also there is a 10 year gap between dad and mom… so some people actually think my mom is his second wife or something!!

My mom: she is a totally lost case… she must have a hearing problem… cuz she NEVER hears things right!!!
And what she hears is … well.. SO different from what is being talked about that it is not funny!
But she is a sweetheart… she is so innocently stupidly funny!
And she is like the guys… dominating, drives a car well (yes, being a Woman she drives Very well!), drinks, used to smoke..
Not saying drinking /smoking is cool /right… just that she is just not a typical mom!
She is absolutely the coolest Mum ever!

My bro: well he is a mixed bag… I really adore him for being funny and cool.. but he is also very sarcastic and un-senti at times.
So ours is a love-hate realtionship… I love AND hate him, he pretty much HATES me!!
Yeah yeah I know he is young and a guy so he loves but does not show it etc etc… so after fighting about all this and stuff like “why cant u call me didi when I am 3 years elder to you?”, I have given up on him, and accepted him as he is!!
Which has recently become very interesting: he listens to weird music, have got 4 holes in his ears pierced, got reeeeeeeeally long hair, and is contemplating getting a tattoo done!! Most people say (and I quite agree with them) he looks like Jesus Christ!! (No offense, dear God!)
Also recently he has turned into a metrosexual, as far as his appearance is concerned!
Everyday, without fail he buffs his nails, shampoos and conditions his hair (only with Ultra Doux), applies all sorts of things on his face, lips etc!!
He takes double the time I take to get ready!!

My dog: no comments: we call her by all sorts of names: tifi, tifu , chipo, chimi, champa, chipi, tipi, tipsi, chimpu, chipu, futti etc etc.
And I have names her confusa-multiple-tiffnitias!!!
That’s her species name. You see, we don’t think she is a dog: she is as coward as a mouse, as fat as a buffalo/hippo/elephant, as dumb as a donkey..
So you see we are confused what kind of a creature she is and she has multiple animal traits!!
She is a lazy thing, lying aroung doing nothing. I would have called her a sack of potatoes, but even a sack of potatoes is more useful than her...so i refer to her as a sacj of rotten potatoes!!
Earleir she used to bark at strangers or welcome us home…
These days she growls/wags her tail lying in one corner, with eyes closed, if at all she chooses to react to anything.
Whenever we see she is not moving, we have to shake her to see if she is still alive or not!
She is also quite a big Dhabba on the Dog community… she has killed over a dozen mice but is shit scared of cats.. even kittens!!!
We are planning to get a new dog to spice up her life a bit... I knwo she is 12 and about to die... but I realy wish she lives for 3-4 years more so I can take her with me as my dahej!! ;-)

As you can make out ours is a totally crazy family: we are also totally crazy about each other!
My parents are also the MOST chilled out people I have ever seen: so much so that we can talk about anything on this earth with them. Heck I remember once we even watched uncensored Kamasutra together at home! Boy was that embarassing, yet fun!
Earlier, during my teenage, I thought I was so unlucky to be stuck with this family, but since I became 17/18, I realised how lucky I am to be with them! They make my life complete. I dunno what I would have done without them.
And seriously, given a chance to choose the ideal set of parents in my next life, I would still choose them!!

Expressions....

2005-05-15T07:40:00.000+05:30

One fine day, a little thought made its way into my mind and created a symbolic story pertaining to the most talked about issue in our country. Let me take upthis opportunity to present to you the musings of my idle mind.

There once lived a very happy family. There was a nice young gentleman calledPaki, who had a lovely wife called Indira. They had four children, two named after Paki called P1 and P2 and two named after Indira called I1 and I2. Theylived in a big, beautiful house, with all luxuries and comforts. They were totally self sufficient in all their needs and at good terms with everyone.They had a large treasure chest in their house, which they were really proud of. In short, they lived very happily, until....

Until one day a stranger from a distant land in the west came to their door knocking. And then they committed a blunder they would never forget..... Theyinvited him to stay with them, for as long as he wished. With passage of time,Mr. Britton, as he called himself, began sweet-talking and winning over everyone in the household. He started telling both husband and wife how each was more superior to the other and ought to live independently. The innocent couple, blinded by the radiance of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow painted by the stranger, began to believe his every word, and began fighting with each other.

Slowly and subtlely Mr. Britton created a rift between them and startedc ompletely controlling their thoughts, deeds and words. Soon he managed to get his hands on the treasure chest too, by breaching the trust of the people who had put their lives in his hands. When Indira and Paki came to know of this,they felt betrayed and chucked Mr. Britton out of the house. But the damage had been done. The treasure was lost, their relationship was totally spoilt and in the end, they had to split.

Everything was divided - the house, the personal belongings, even the children!I1 and I2 went to stay with Indira and P1 and P2 with Paki. Now I1 and P1 , whowere older, more mature, understanding and kind, were broken-hearted, but I2and P2, young and hot blooded, nursed grudges against each other and the"other" family, little realising that there was no family if all of them were separated. While splitting, I2 and P2 created a lot of commotion and bad blood:they became violent and physically hurt the very same people they once so loved! I1 and P1 were greatly saddened by this behaviour and prayed for peace.

At last Paki and Indira settled down in their designated parts of the house.Since they had divided one house into two parts, they faced a lot of problems.They were single-handedly trying to face the harsh realities of life that were so easily taken care of when they were together. They started looking at each other as their enemies and swore to protect their kin from each other. Although they had divided everything, they still had occasional fights about various possessions, subject to mockery by onlookers. Others started to interfere in their personal matters, and filled their mind with filth about each other,increasing their hatred. Soon they started believing that Paki was Muslim andIndira was Hindu and then started the debate on who was better, with neither side agreeing to be any less than the other. I2 and P2, on their part, would throw filth on each other's premises, and get in, in the dark of the night and trouble each other and the others.

This is not just a story, a figment of my imagination. Look closely and you will see its resemblance with the most important problem faced by us today: our relationship with our neighbour. Paki is none other than Pakistan, and Indirais India. Mr.Britton is none other than the British. I1 and P1 are those people in India and Pakistan who do not have any hard feelings against anyone, and I2and P2 are those who do. The treasure chest is what made the pre-divided India to be called the Golden Bird. The Partition was a very difficult time: the land was divided, and people were forced to leave their houses. History is witnessto the horrendous and gory bloodshed, the tears of the doomed, the death of somany dreams and hopes. Women were assaulted and men were killed in the most atrocious and blood-curdling manner. Members of the same family were thirsty for each other's blood!

After the partition, both countries lost out to each other in terms of labour,industries, minerals, land, resources, money etc, and are facing problems till date. They still fight over the Line-of-control and Pakistan-occupied-Kashmir and the state of J&K. Other countries, some pally with Pakistan, some withIndia began to interfere, making matters worse. Religious differences were made the crux of the problem. Both countries speak (inadmittently do) ill of each other. Children in Pakistan are taught in schools that India is their enemy.Indians go to the border to spit on the "Other" side! There is enough of crossborder terrorism to make life hell for those living near the borders who reallydon’t care about these political differences.

Who has gained? Certainly not India and Pakistan, who are still suffering fromthe aftermath. Certainly not the people in those times, who still suffer from nightmares, if they are not dead already. Certainly not us, who lose so much time , effort, money and precious lives of our soldiers in trying to protect our frontiers! But there are those who will gain, after the two countries fight and fight and become the reason for the downfall of each other: they will come to pick up the bones. Do we really want this? Where is the pretty picture everyone painted at the time of the partition? All we seem to have been left with is hatred, sorrow, death, destruction, tears, and terrorism.

Ah! Terrorism! Another oft-misinterpreted term. We have some wrong perceptions,wrong equations, which we must correct. What we must understand today is thatits not
P1 + P2 = TERRORISTS and I1 + I2 = INNOCENT
Its I2 + P2 = TERRORISTS and I1 + P1 = INNOCENT

There are good people and bad people on both sides. All Pakistanis do not hate us, nor do All Indians hate them. I don’t hate Pakistanis. I only hate the terrorists, in both countries, the ones causing both countries immense grief.It’s high time we recognise this big difference and get on with doing what is right.

My story does not intend to preach anything. Through this I merely wish to ask every Pakistani and Indian to go for introspection and ask himself/herself just one question: Whose side are you on, I1 + P1 or I2 + P2? Think properly and decide wisely and well, because on your decision, DEPENDS OUR FUTURE!!

Good God!!

2005-05-15T07:35:00.000+05:30

In today's world of the Gen X (or Y or Z), the young and the restless are also increasingly becoming the atheist and the faithless. The turn of the century bringing about immense advances in science and medicine, bringing us closer toand opening up secrets of life, and the need to be practical to keep up withthe fast pace of life, leaves us with little time for our faith and our GOD.

Essentially there are two groups of people - those who believe in God, andthose who do not. And then there are those like me who are a little confused about the whole deal. The scientific, rational and practical person in usrefuses to endorse such views, as doing "poojas" and keeping "vrats" and "idolworship". We do not believe in the supernatural, ghosts, life after death, orso-called sciences like astrology and Vaastu Shastra.

Traditionally I do not believe in God. To me, idols in places of worship are stone, and the rites and rituals made up to appease the Gods and ward off evil seem ridiculous. According to me, religion is man made, conceptualized to appease gods and save oneself from disaster, in the days of the early man, when mankind had no idea what was fire or why it rained or that earthquakes cannot be averted through prayers. But today, when we know so much, it still seems we are none the wiser.

As Karl Marx once quoted " Religion is the opium of the people". What has religion given us in the current world scenario? The innumerable number ofriots and Jihads? The murder of joy and peace, one brother killing the other,all in the name of God? Petty religious issues taking precedence over thefeeling of humanity? Look around you, and you will find nothin more. If this is what we get for believing in God, then do we really need Him?

The answer is YES, WE DO! There is a downside of believing in God and following a religion, but there is also an upside. Atleast in the name of God, some poor souls get some money and food in the name of alms and "langars", some people do not commit sins sometimes for the fear of wrath of God, some peope actually do good, say good, think good, believing it to be the path to find God, be safe from devil and hell, and go to heaven after death.

I say- hell and heaven, both are on the earth only, depends on how you look at your life. Depending upon your hardwork and attitude, you may have all the pleasures of heaven here itself, or you may make your life worse than hell. God(good) and Devil (evil), they are you, inside you, inside all of us. It is uptous to decide which form has to surface and be dominant. Some people have adominant devil, some have a dominant god, but all of us have both. Depends upon how we develop ourselves.

Why does a common man need God? What does he look for in Him? What does God provide him? Broadly speaking, God is needed because of the following reasons:

• he helps us when we ae in trouble, and guides us
• he gives us happiness and provides us with material possessions
• we talk to him when our heart and mind are in conflict, share our problems and doubts
• he encourages us when all hope is lost and cheers us when we are sad
• he gives us sadness and hardships so we never forget the importance of happiness
• he punishes us when we commit sins

And to be granted the above, the religious indulge themselves in various formsof worship, like prayers, fasts, charity, festivals, rites, rituals,superstitions etc. Basically they devote themselves to live right and keep Godhappy, that is the source of their happiness.

I am only a little different. I see God in my loved ones, namely my family andother important relationships. I believe that these people are the ones who give me hope, love, guidance, appreciation, help, happiness, sadness,encouragement etc. They fulfil my physical, emotional, financial, material,spiritual, mental needs. They tell us when we go wrong and punish us if we commit sins in spite of knowing about them, they teach us what is good and what is bad.

In short, I believe that if I devote myself to the happiness of these people, Iam going to be happy. They are my God for whom I will toil, they are the path for me to find inner peace. All this IS a bit unconventional, but the questionis, would I be termed as a believer, or an atheist?You Decide!

The Idiot Box

2005-05-10T08:51:00.000+05:30

Ever thought of your life without Man’s greatest and most important invention?No no, not the wheel, but your life and soul…. your Television!!! We never tire calling it the idiot box, but can you really imagine one day without your own telly? Without the unending saga of Kyunki Saas for Mom, serious Aaj Tak Newsfor Dad, Bugs Bunny and Popeye for kids, evening aarti for Dada/Dadi, Friendsfor Didi/Bhaiya, our world does seem so lost and boring, doesn’t it? We can’teven start imagining what would happen if we were made to live without any television to bring happiness and sunshine in our mundane lives! Just the other day, I encountered a similar situation. The cable-walla had some problems in his connection, and thus, the television was out for the day! And what a day that was!

Mummy, who sits down to get her daily dose of the soaps after doing her household chores, had become really frustrated out of boredom. “How do I pass my day without seeing which Saas is troubling her Bahu, which woman is having an extra marital affair, which scheme the vamp is cooking in her mind?” Littlebrother was outraged: “the TV had to go out today, of all the days, when theGrand Prix is on?????” Surely God is mean, to inflict such cruelty upon Schumacher-fearing/loving/worshipping fans!” But nothing to beat what Dad had to go through…. “Ok, so we cannot watch Des Mein Nikla Hoga Chand, but Pardes mein nikla hai chand, or not, how do we know without the news? What is this world coming to?”

And I sit back and observe, the way this little idiot box has taken over the lives of millions of people! Gone are the days, when the husbands used to come back from work, and TALK to their wives, instead of propping up their legs on the coffee table and watching Sachin bat, or Saddam being hounded. Gone are the days when the kids ACTUALLY went out and played! When was the last time your child, having taken out precious time from tuitions, classes, computer and television, went out to play/cycle/walk etc.? Can’t remember? Nor can I! There just does not seem to be enough interaction with the outside world, since the television has entered our lives. We never seem to have enough time with our spouses, kids, parents, friends…

But can we put the blame squarely on this box? Are we ourselves not to blame?Its us who should chalk out our priorities, decide what’s good and bad for us,what we should do, how often, how long, with whom we should spend time.I am just waiting for the day when the kids really engage in recreation outside the four walls of the house; the teens actually take out time to build upon their fragile relationship with their parents, siblings, grandparents; a family actually sits together and eats and talks; a husband actually spends time with his wife after a long day’s work, and we understand more about the people with whom we live and interact, rather than Jennifer Lopez or Tulsi Virani! And I do hope that day comes soon! Ok, I have to go now; I have missed the first 2 seconds of Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki already!

The Bride's Woe

2005-05-10T08:47:00.000+05:30

Ah! The day has come
When she has to leave,
It’s here so soon
She can’t believe.

It seems like only yesterday
When she had turned twenty,
But now, her time left at home
Doesn’t seem plenty.

In a flash, come all
The sweet memories of her past,
She smiles, she laughs, she cries at them
For her, forever will they last.

When she was in pain, her mother comforted her,
When her self was dwindling, her father supported her,
Her brother whose shouts and fights she had to bear,
Even in his eyes today, she can see tears.

No longer is she free
To walk and talk the way she wants,
Even though her in-laws seem friendly,
These thoughts linger and haunt.

“ She’s not too fair and a bit too fat!”
“Don’t you know how to do it? It’s done like that!”
“Sit like this, don’t stand like that!”
The thought of hearing these in the future makes her sad.

She sits in front of the mirror and stares,
At her nubile and naïve appearance.
“Don’t worry you can do it,” echoes her mind,
Thus assured of the future, she gathers her confidence and endurance.

At last, beautiful and graceful she joins her groom,
And they steadfastly take vows together.
Entwining in the eternal bond of love,
They are pronounced husband and wife, forever!

Now comes the saddest part
As now, she has to depart
After bidding goodbye to parents, family and friends,
She now brings all rites and rituals to an end.

She flings back ‘wet’ grains of rice from the doorstep,
Behind her, where her parents collect them
Thus symbolically breaking all ties with her family,
With moist eyes, she leaves them.

Then the day comes when she achieves the fruit of her labor:
Today is the day, her first child, a girl, arrives.
Reminded of her own sad departure on that fateful day,
Overwhelmed, she hugs the child lovingly, with tears in her eyes.

Rain Rain Come Again!

2005-05-10T08:46:00.001+05:30

The heavenly earthy smell wafting up the air, the pitter patter of the raindrops, the cool breeze tickling your face, the lush green faces of swayingtrees, the first bath in the first rain, eating pakoras and drinking teasitting in the balcony …. Feels heavenly, doesn’t it? Come rain, and the earthregains its youth and beauty, with all the flora and fauna dancing away toglory, welcoming the respite from the scorching heat. The young lovers fall inlove again, with each other and the romantic weather.

But where there is love, beauty, serenity, there are faulty telephone andelectricity lines, water logged roads, traffic jams, mud splashed shoes andclothes… its not as romantic as it seems. With these things, you feel as ifthere is always something present, waiting to take the fun and beauty out ofeverything. If only we were to overcome these problems, we could really enjoy the lovely weather, and really wish, Rain Rain Come Again!

OF the pitter patter of tiny feet..

2005-05-10T08:43:00.000+05:30

I just got up after watching an interesting movie: Hyderabad Blues 2. it revolves around a couple married for 6 years, where the wife is dying to have kids, but the husband is not ready for the responsibility, the resulting fights and tension, and the falling apart of the marriage. What concerns me is not the fights or the couple… but the new trend that has started in our Indian culture as well: the decision to not have children.

Up till now what we saw was a shift in the family system: from joint family to nuclear family, then from working husbands an housewives to Double-income-no-kids households. But even they just delayed the whole process of having a family, owing to the need of settling down. It seems now though, that a completely new and never-before fashion has cropped up: of having no kids at all.

Now why on earth would one not want to have any kids at all??? Isn’t procreation what makes the world go on? Isn’t it what we are here to do, we are supposed to do?? How can anyone choose not to have kids? If everyone stops having children, what will happen to this earth? Hey chill… we don’t have to get so carried away…. Chances that everyone on this earth decides to skip having kids is as high as the sun rising from the west... but nevertheless, a surprisingly large number of people don’t seem bothered, and do not wish to take up the responsibility of progression of human population.

Many couples adopt kids, not because they are unable to have their own, but because they don’t wish to increase the already overburdening pressure of population on earth, and also wish to do something for the orphans. Some adopt because they can’t have kids of their own, either because they are medically unfit, or they are homosexuals. Still others adopt kids because they don’t have life partners, and want children, even at the cost of bringing them up single-handedly.

But there is also another group of people, steadily on the rise, who just don’t want kids. Usually the reason is financial stability. They feel they won’t be able to bring up a child well. But even such couples have at least 1 child. They may wait till they are settled and financially well off before they have children, i.e. they have kids late, maybe very late, but they do. Other reason may be that their marriage/ relationship is on the rocks and they feel having kids may weaken their stand and make it difficult for them to separate if need be, as everyone very well knows the harshest impact of divorce/separation is the children of the couple. Some people don’t have kids due to their career limitations: they believe having kids can wreak havoc on their superb career. As a result, many married actresses/models skip the having children routine, lest they ruin their figure and lose their charm, their USP, their salability.

But what does one say to/think of those people who are physically and mentally fit, financially stable, have a great marriage/relationship, well settled in their jobs… in short possess everything that takes to become great parents, but still opt out of it. They don’t even adopt. They just don’t want kids. As simple as that. Why, you ask? How can a human being naturally not want to procreate? Well… it’s an interesting issue.

These kid-less couples say that they don’t want children simply because they see no need to have kids. Now why on earth do people want to have kids, apart from our basic instinct? Mainly because they feel it’s the natural next step to a relationship/marriage. They are expected to have kids. Many women want kids because they feel incomplete unless they have given birth and experienced the miracle of god. Most couples get bored of their monotonous lives… they want some action and excitement. Some people want support in old age, while others want to continue their lineage. Some have kids just so that their child can take over their business. After all, they can’t leave all that they strove for to some stranger… don’t these things apply to this set of couples as well?

Apparently not. They don’t really care. They are too well settled in their lives, jobs, to let anything upset the schedule, including kids. They don’t think they are ready to have kids….EVER! They don’t think they will have time, or the mental preparation to handle kids. Many people have jobs/ambitions/lifestyle that would be hampered if they had kids. They don’t need support in their old age, they don’t feel empty and lonely, they don’t want to experience creating a new soul, or bringing up another human being. All in all they think having kids is a bad idea, which will ruin their life. In exchange they have to listen to a lot of hushed whispers and eager queries about WHY they don’t have any kids, and suffer a number of shocked and disapproving looks when they tell them they just don’t need kids. But it doesn’t matter to them. They are ready to take a whole lifetime of this nonsense but have made up their minds not to give in to the pressure of parents dying to have grandkids etc., and stick to their decision.

Now I personally don’t have anything against these people… after all it’s their life, and they are the ones responsible for whatever decisions they take. But I do feel that it is a great feeling to be a parent and give birth to and bring up a child. It’s really a gift from God which all of us should accept and experience. There used to be a time when I was sure I was never going to give birth to any kids because the whole process seemed so painful and difficult, right from conception to childbirth to post natal care of the child. But over the years I have mulled over the issue, and have come to the conclusion that everyone must have kids, and OWN kids if possible, including me. Now I want to be a proud mother of a naughty boy and a pretty daughter one day, no matter what I have to do to make that possible and successful! And though I can’t force these people, I sure want to tell them, “Guys, you are missing a lot in life. Life is short, enjoy it and make the most of it while you can. It’s never too late. Maybe you think children are a burden, but trust me, they are god’s most beautiful creation. Try having one child, then you will know of the innumerable pleasures they bring to us, who, in our fast paced lives, have forgotten how to smile!”

Ever wondered....

2005-05-10T03:45:00.000+05:30

You know when i first heard of the song "Aaja mahiya" from the film "Fiza", I thought the lyricist had a very sick sense of romance... I actually thought the words were .. " Aa thook maloo main tere haathon mein.." Now why would Hrithik want to smear his spit on Neha's hands??? Whenever i hear my friends say it was their favourite song, I thought they were so weird. Much later I realised it was actually "Aa DHOOP maloo main tere haathon mein.." Oops!

HI!!!

2005-05-07T01:37:00.000+05:30

Hey All!
Welcome to my world!
I like to address myself as Sugar & Spice.. cuz that's exactly what I am!!
;-)
For more information about me and my world, do feel free to look this blogspot up whenever you can and want to...
Cheers,
S&S :-)