Colours of Life!

(This is the copy of the article I wrote for an NGO's magazine... I interviewed a rickshawpuller to get a glimpse of the life he lives... thought I could share my experience and what he had to say!)

Clad in a red check shirt, blue pants, folded; a pair of chappals… that is how he has always been seen: this is his everyday attire, his uniform to work. That is Mr. Harish Chand Gupta, a local rickshaw puller. Slim, with average height, a thick moustache and lines of experience etched on his prematurely matured face, he looks older than his 21 years. Originally belonging to a small village called Supol in Bihar, this Marwari Baniya now resides in a small colony in East Delhi.

Born to a well-to-do family, Harish has two sisters and two brothers, apart from his parents in his family. His father commanded a good position in a private organisation, earning about Rs.15000 per month, when he got entangled in a murder conspiracy and lost his job. Since then the family has been forced to resort to farming to sustain itself. His sisters are happily married and settled with husband and kids. His elder brother has a business of his own while the younger one operates an atta chakki.

Harish’s childhood was eventless, yet full of fun and frolic… playing without any worries, studying, hanging out with friends without a care for the world… no responsibilities, nothing. Such was life till class Six, when it became evident o him that life is not going to e as smooth as before. Seeing the increasing financial burden on his parents and the dismal returns on their flood-affected land, Harish decided o quit studying and leave his village in search of a better life.

And this is how he ended up in Delhi twelve years ago, in 1994, at the tender age of nine, all alone and a total stranger to the city, just like the scores of other people like him, to earn his living and make his own luck, in the city of his dreams. When he reached Delhi, he first worked in a clothes factory as a helper for six months. He then shifted to a beer brewery in Haryana and worked there in the capacity of chief engineer for five years. However, daunted by some ghastly accidents and deaths in the factory premises, he soon quit his job. He then went to Punjab and farmed for another two years. After that, till date (five years now) he has been pulling his own rickshaw, which he bought from his savings.

Apart from pulling his rickshaw, he also alternates as a keeper in a nearby bookstore. In total he manages to earn about Rs. 4000 per month. Of this he spends Rs. 2500 on rent, food and other expenses; and manages to send home Rs. 1500. On a typical day, he wakes up at 5:30 am, gets ready, works from 7-9 am, has breakfast and takes rest, gets back to work till lunchtime at 2 pm, rests some more after lunch, opens the bookstore around 4 pm, cleans it and arranges everything, then back to his rickshaw, working till about 9 in the night, when he comes home, cooks and has dinner and retires for the day. He lives all alone, cooks, washes etc. all by himself, with no one to take care of him. He has no social life, no friends, and no entertainment… not even a television or radio. Such is his life, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Is he happy? He says: “Life is currently okay. I do not particularly enjoy it, but do not mind it either. I plan to make it better. I want to make enough money to be able to buy some land of my own to build a house and cultivate a small farm. For that I am learning how to drive a taxi, to start a taxi service of my own.”

Doesn’t he dislike being alone? Wouldn’t he like a life partner, to take care of him and support him in all his endeavours? He quips: “I do not want to get married just yet. My parents and after my life to ‘settle down’, but I want to have my own house and enough money to sustain a family comfortable before I marry.” Marriage and settling down, apparently is a touchy issue for him, due to heartbreak in the past. Some time ago, he fell in love with a girl who did not reciprocate his feelings. Since then he has been quite forlorn and has stopped believing in love.

His happiest moment?

“The life is led as a child, amongst my family and friends: no troubles or worries… only lots of love and fun!”

His saddest moment?

“When my loved on refused my proposal and broke my heart.”

His moment of regret?

“I should not have quit my studies and left my village so soon. Had I stayed on, maybe I would have been much better off right now…”

His proudest moment?

“When I bought a small radio for my parents from my first salary!”

All in all, life for Harish has been full of hardships, struggle and sacrifice; but he still goes on, determined to fulfil his dreams.

His parting words?

“All I want to say to everyone is that one should study and work hard, get a good job, house and family; and take good care of them all… strive to achieve your goals, believe in yourself, don’t give up, and be a good human being.”

With this, and a twinkle in his eyes, a dream in his heart and a song on his lips, he rushes off, beckoned by a prospective customer, and pedals away into his future!

R.I.P. Confusa Multiple Tiffanitias!

Sad News...

My doggie of 15 years died 4 months ago...
Her name was Tiffany. She was a cute lil golden brown dacshund, the light of our lives.
She was old, sick, but comfortable. Although I knew that there will be one day when she would have to go, I could never bring myself to accept it, and still have not.

She died when I was here in Ahmedabad, when I could not even wish her goodbye, when I could not see her one last time; in my mother's lap. Everyone back at home is quite grief stricken. I cried the day mum told me. But I'm over it. But I know, I'm not quite over it. I'm ok right now, cuz I'm here. But I know the moment I set foot at home, I will burst out crying, cuz there will be no brown lil thing running towards me, barking, jumping, trying to lick my face, wagging her tail @ 10 wags/sec! There will be no sad eyes looking at me when I leave home. There will be no innocents looks at me while I enjoy her favourite sweet. There will be no one staring at me questioningly when I'm trying to trouble her. There will be no one responding to my calls. There will be no one running to go fetch my slippers, or the ball I just threw. There will be no one on my lap when we go out for a drive. There will be no barking when the bell rings. There will be no snoring beside me on my bed at night. There will be no Tiffany ever... again!

While this thought saddens me to no end, I try to think of the happier times that we had with her! Tiffany, the doggie with a million names, every one had a different name with which they called her. So many names, so many poems made for her... Tifi, tifu, chipi, chimpu, chima, tipu, chipu, timpukdini, champakali, cheepnee, tipni, futti, chunni, cheefee...!!!!

We called her confusa multiple Tiffanitias: confusa because we are still confused what kind of weird creature she was, multiple cuz she portrayed multiple animal characteristics (she was timid like a mouse, jumped around like a rabbit, was fat like a buffalo/elephant, etc) and ofcourse, Tiffanitias was her Species Name!! I know its crazy, but thats how she was, and we were, when we were around her.

I miss her, still. And always will. After all, even human beings are not capable of the unconditional love that she showed me. Even if I slapped her a minute ago for doing something stupid, she would come running with the same enthusiasm and love when I would come back home that evening, that she would have had, had I not scolded her. I could vent my anger on her, say anything and everything to her, without the fear of being judged. She meant so much to us, that none of us would eat, sleep or do anoything without her. So much that if ever a calaity struck, even before I would grab food/water/money or look for family, I would look for her. So much that even if my mom had just one roti to eat, she would first give a part of it to Tiffany, and then to us. She was the baby of the family. She was a part of everything in our lives. She went with us for vacations, car drives when we went for icecream, to our relatives' houses when we went for dinner. She was an active part of every festival we celebrated: she got the tikka and sacred thread on her wrist on Dussehra and Diwali; we coloured her wild on Holi. She sould sit patiently through all poojas, except when I made rangoli: then she would roam about happily in that room, wagging her tail, ruining my colour work!! We even tried to make her into a quintessential Indian Doggie... by draping her with a duppatta for a sari, complete with earrings and makeup!

She was great fun outside home too... When she was a young doggie, she was known to be a fast runner. The moment someone would open the front door, she would run out, and it would take 10 of us kids and 20 minutes for us to locate and catch her!! What a devil she was! Not only that, she was quite a dish when in her ol days... there were countless dogs who were crazy about her, but the lady she was, she never gave any Bhaav to anyone. Sure she had friends, but her heart beat for only one: Raph, our neighbour's Golden Labrador. So what if they were different breeds, so what if she was 1/10th the size of her lover, they were crazy about each other. Every chnce she got, she ran out and right into their house, and rush to meet her love. A pity they could not consummate their love. Apart from her lover, she had a lot of friends, like Beetle and Sugar amongst others, and she spent days and night froliking about with them! They were best buddies, totally inseparable! Such was their bond, that they all celebrated and attended eeach other's birthdays. Ah! Birthdays! Another fun day for her. We would get a cake, nad arrange for lots of fun non-veg food , and invite all the dogs of the campus. Ad they, like good friends, would never come without a gift for her: a ball, a bowl, a collar/leash, a chewtoy, food etc.

We had lots of fun during the rains too. Funny, she hated having a bath like every other canine, but she loved the rains. She loved running out, getting dirty, and jumping around. There were areas where water collected, and we used to put her in a tub, and she used to happily float away in her makeshift boat! Yes, life after that was not so much fun, when she would enter the house and dirty everything she touched! Then both she and us kids got the scolding of our lies from our parents. But we never learnt, and repeated the whole thing the next day!

Towards the end of her life, she was old, lazy but comfortable, and thankfully not diseased or in pain. She just died of old age: she gave up eating, and after a few revivals, she finally gave up on July 5th 2006. She died a virgin: we never could get her to mate with any dog. Was she a lady, or plain stupid, we are not so sure. But whatever she was, she was a darling, and we all miss her presence in our lives. Nothing is the same without her, and can never be. In a month, we are getting a new doggie, but no one will ever be able to take her place in our lives and hearts!

Tiffany, we love you and miss you and always will!
So long, Farewell. Adieu my friend! Adios Amigo! Hasta La Vista Baby!

The Show Will Go On...

Bloodshot eyes
Dark and gloomy skies
No day, no night
Only she is in sight

No present, no future
He only knows the past
Disappointed yet optimistic, says he
"Nice guys finish last"

He loved her, but did she?
'She loved me... she loved me not..'
Plucking petals of a flower?
More like pices of his heart!

Those magical nights
And the mornings after
The high, higher than cannabis,
The hearts beating faster...

The sweetest coffee - the one they shared
The dinners where they hardly ate
Sneaking in for a midnight rendezvous...
These meant much more than just a date.

They knew they were different
But still it felt just right
They knew it was almost impossible
But the romantics, they always saw light

But like they say, all good things end
And end they did, but maybe only for one
For the other there was hope, even across borders
but little did he know, that she had none.

One day, then two, a week, then a few
He waited for her by day and by night
For her, he was no more; but he still felt her
In the breeze, the music, the moonlight!

He now sits here, still
wasted, withering away
But he refuses to give up
Till he hears her say

"I Love You"
And then he will be reborn
But until then, the curtains wont fall
The show will go on!

Memoirs of a Mother.. (A true story)

I still remember that fateful day in the wintery January of 1983, when I realised that I was pregnant! Our joys knew no bounds. I was 28 and eager to start a family. Barely married a few months ago, my husband and I did not have much: just a single room house on rent, a few essentials and the both of us. My husband, fresh out of Med School, had recently acquired a job with a grand hospital and was earning a good Rs. 3000 per month. We had little, but we were happy. And now, a little one was to come into our lives soon. It was a heartening feeling; but a little scary too. How would we manage? Would we be able to afford a good life and provide for a bright future for our child? All my fears and anxiety were laid to rest by my husband who was very supportive, and by my family and friends. And thus began the beautiful journey of motherhood.

We were very excited. We began nurturing our dreams: thinking of names, buying clothes, collecting important tid-bits from family and freinds (recent mothers' hand-me-downs), plans to save money to buy toys and crib...

And then it struck me - my husband sonographed me and gave me "the news" (at that moment I could not decide whether it was good or bad) - I was pregnant with twin girls!

For a moment I was shocked - I could not react, and when I did, it was not pleasant. It was simply impossible: raising two girls, together, in a one-room house, on a meagre salary... It could just not be done! I gave up. I told my husband I wanted to abort the babies. I would not be able to handle them. I wasnt sure we could pull it off. My husband, though crestfallen at my reaction, convinced me that we could make it if we tried. My family came to our rescue. They collected lots of baby things, came to live with me and help with the pregnancy and promised to help take care of the babies when they arrived. And so I agreed, and the journey continued.

The next few months' were pretty comfortable. Sure, I had some weird cravings at weird timings, and I suddenly stated hating my favourite foods. There were good days, bad days, horrible days, and great days too. Everyone pitched in , in whatever way they could. There was a lot going on, both inside and outside, but I was so loved and taken care of that I did not realise how time flew.

Then one fine day in late August, a month before the due date, things started to speed up and we were surprised to know that the stork intended to visit us a month before plan. On August 30th, 1983, I finally gave birth to the two most beautiful and precious babies ever! It was fairly smooth though exhausting., but all my tiredness went away when I saw the tiny little bundles of joy!

They were born premature, and as a result were very weak, thin and sick. It was a miracle they survived, but they were getting better by the day. The were identical twins: fair, rosy, fragile - and everyone who saw them fell in love with them. The doctor who delivered them told me she had 4 sons and desperately wanted to adopt my second baby. Smiling, I refused. Smiling because just a few months back I was ready to abort these little ones, or give them away; but today, I could not bear to do that! My brother-in-law also wanted to adopt my second one, and so did a few others, but I politely refused them all. These were my babies, my fruits of labour; and I was going o keep them, love them and nurture them twice as much as any mother! The two little Japanese dolls (as my doctor called them) had a band strapped to their wrists to differentaiate between them: one with a blue strap, one with a red one. We deided to call the elder one Mini, and the younger Tini for the time being, till we finalised their proper names.

And then our world came crashing down - Mini improved and came back home a week after her birth, but suddenly Tini was getting sicker and sicker. As it is, in multiple births, each kid doesnt get equal nutrition during pregnancy, and in this case Tini was the weaker one. She was going from bad to worse and stayed at the hospital. The days crept by. Finally she started to get better, and by the time she was 13 days old, she was well enough to visit her home for the first time. There was much jubilation. With lots of hopes and dreams, we finally got Tini back home, and lay her next to Mini. What a beautiful sight they were! We decided to keep a watch throughout the night. My husband stayed up for a few hours while I slept. Then he woke me up, and it was my turn to stay up and watch over Tini's condition. While the 3 slept, I stayed awake, but very drowsy. Dont know how and when but at some point I fell asleep and was only woken up by loud crying noises of Tini, in the wee hours of the morning. We all woke up, and after doing whatever we could to calm her down, we realised something was wrong. We rushed her to the hospital. apparently she had caught a deadly infection on the blood called Septicaemia from the hospital itself, and was very sick. Though enraged by the lack of proper care in such a big hospital, we first concentrated on immediate steps for Tini's treatment and recovery. Those few hours were the worst hours of our lives. We hoped, wished and prayed, but it was too late. In the wee hours of a September day, when the little one was just 2 weeks old, she succumbed to the disease. The other half of Mini, my second Japanese doll - was gone! The baby so many people wanted, did not go to anyone; not even to us.

With heavy hearts and tearful eyes, we went back, wondering if there was any way we could have avoided this. Had I stayed up, could we have saved her life? Maybe, maybe not. Thus came an end to our dreams, hopes, wishes, happiness: atleast half of it. Though she spent all her life in the hospital, we missed her presence. But all the same we were grateful to God that Mini was alive and kicking. She continued to be sick for a year or 2, but after that she flourished. But even today when I see Mini, sometimes I think of the little one, long gone: of how pretty she would have been, how her life would have shaped up... Would she have been a star student? Would she have had a great sense of humour? What would have her marriage been like?

' Sweetheart I know you were going thruough hell, and aybe it was a blessing for you to be liberated. But do know, all of loved you and still do. We did whatever we could for you, and above all, we miss you and wish you were here. But, as they say, sometimes God gets lonly and needs some nice people around him. I guess he needed you the most, amongst all of us... '



(FYI, My old nickname is Mini)

Touch Wood!

How many of us are there who have never used this term? None? I thought so... You see, we humans, in spite of being the supremely intelligent creatures we are, cannot help but be superstitious about some or the other thing at some point in life. The other day when I was thinking about this, I thought of asking around, what people believe in.

Some common beliefs which most of know, if not follow, are:

1. Do not go out during an eclipse
2. Dont walk under a ladder against a wall
3. Do not take the path which has been crossed by a cat, esp a black one!
4. Do not cut nails, comb hair at nite
5. Dont purchase steel items, oil, black clothes etc on saturday
6. If someone sneezes just as you are leaving the doorstep to go out, your day will be ruined
7. Dont wash hair/clothes, consume Non Veg food on a particular day (differs from culture to culture)
8. Dont use scissors in air, or give someone a knife; it creates fights
9. Order of wearing shoes, or taking them off; which foot to keep out first when leaving home etc is important
10. teen tigade kaam bigade!
11. trisdekaphobia!!! No - 13!!
12. Dont keep footwear near head when sleeping on teh floor; wash feet before sleeping; else you will get nightmares
13. Aankh fadakna (can be both good and bad, depends on which one is fadakoing!)
14. Repeated howling of dogs means death in house
15. Veseels falling, crow crowing outside means visitors coming (crows also make wishes come true)
    
16. When you bite your tongue while eating means some has just abused you .. while some believe it means you will get delicious food soon!! (I would rather believe the second interpretation!! :))
    
17. Fallen eyelashes or Buddhi ke baal (seeds getting dispersed) fulfil wishes!!
18. Bury broken tooth, or keep inder pillow for money from tooth fairy (aka mum n dad!)
19. Spilling salt or breaking mirrors means bad luck
    

Some interesting and unfamiliar ones include

1. Don't give a sutta with the fag b/w th index n middle finger (as in the way you smoke it)
2. Keep the doors open much after 6:30-7 PM : at that time Laxhmi aayegi :))
3. In some village the newly weds are not allowed to sleep together for 3 whole days..thoda control ker liye to long lasting marriage hogee.. (poor poor newlyweds!! suhagraat bhi manae nahi dete.. zaalim zamana!!)

Whatever it is, we are really good at coming up with some really awesome ideas, logics for doing and not doing some things. Some beliefs may actually be doing good, like keeping a vrat may actually cleanse your system... no junk for one day may actually do good! Also not cutting nails etc at nite may have come around to ensure cleanliness?? Same goes for washing feet before sleeping!

But some beliefs are are like obstacles.. Have come across situations when some people were sick but they were not given adequate treatment as they were thot to be affected by spirits.. and they died! Stupid, harmless superstitions are ok, but some totally illogical and dangerous beliefs and rituals can be fatal; be it the ritual of shooting in air during a marriage (in one instance the groom himself was shot dead by mistake), or sacrifice girl child to satisfy gods (arising more from the various biases our society suffers from!).... the list is endless!

High time we separate the harmless beliefs from teh harmful ones, and make a wise choice in deciding what to believe, for the betterment of all humankind!