Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Reverse Discrimination: A new phenomenon in Urban India

So we all know about gender discrimination. In India's case discrimination against girls. However in the past decade some of us have really changed their outlook about girls, and become positive, welcoming, encouraging towards them. A lot of youth today prefer the girl child. A no. of NGOs are working for the cause of the girl child. Yay for girls!

But recently I've realised this trend of being pro girls has led to a trend of being anti boys, a sort of reverse discrimination, among the pregnant couples. Its become fashionable to say that you want a girl if you're expecting. God forbid if you are pregnant and when asked, you say you want a boy. People would give dirty looks - How can you be a woman and want a boy? How can you not support the girl child? How regressive/chauvinistic of you!

Now I have a lovely daughter and when I was pregnant I did want a girl and I was very happy to get her. But when I have my next child I would like it to be a boy. Not because he will progress my husband's name. Or get dowry for me. Or stay with me and take care of me in my old age - I have no expectations and would prefer to be independent till my dying day.

I want a boy because I want a brother for Anaisha and I want to have the experience of a mother son relationship which I'm sure is different from a mother daughter relationship and fulfilling in its own way. I don't think there is any 'benefit' in having a boy. I just want one of each for diversity. And it doesn't mean i'm against having girls or am regressive/chauvinistic. And just in case I have another girl Ill embrace her with the same love, as I would a boy.

I hope we can be less judgmental towards people who want to have sons, if they want them for the right reasons. Let's love the girls but let's not start hating the boys! And for all the hard core feminists who still don't get me, please go ahead and chew my head off, I'm ready! :)