Saturday, May 21, 2005

My Family Coolest!!

My Family:
I have my dad who is a 60 year old doctor: an ultrasonologist, a private practitioner.
My mom is a 50 yr old homemaker and an astrologer.
My brother is 19, in college, doing graduation by correspondence from Delhi University and chartered accountancy simultaneously and making a good khichdi out of them both!!
I also have a 12 yr old sister… with a black nose, long brown ears, brown coat and a long hairy tail… no I’ve not fought with her and taking revenge by describing her like this… she realy looks like that: she is my 12 yr old long haired dachshund Tiffany.
Hum Paanch… we live in a little house in Delhi where I’ve been born and brought up.

My dad: the only thing I can say about him is since I have known him, he has always been my grandpa and my mom’s his second wife.
Since they got married… dad has sported white hair… not by choice… genetically he suffers with premature greying of hair.
So ALL my friends always thought he is my grandpa.
Also there is a 10 year gap between dad and mom… so some people actually think my mom is his second wife or something!!

My mom: she is a totally lost case… she must have a hearing problem… cuz she NEVER hears things right!!!
And what she hears is … well.. SO different from what is being talked about that it is not funny!
But she is a sweetheart… she is so innocently stupidly funny!
And she is like the guys… dominating, drives a car well (yes, being a Woman she drives Very well!), drinks, used to smoke..
Not saying drinking /smoking is cool /right… just that she is just not a typical mom!
She is absolutely the coolest Mum ever!

My bro: well he is a mixed bag… I really adore him for being funny and cool.. but he is also very sarcastic and un-senti at times.
So ours is a love-hate realtionship… I love AND hate him, he pretty much HATES me!!
Yeah yeah I know he is young and a guy so he loves but does not show it etc etc… so after fighting about all this and stuff like “why cant u call me didi when I am 3 years elder to you?”, I have given up on him, and accepted him as he is!!
Which has recently become very interesting: he listens to weird music, have got 4 holes in his ears pierced, got reeeeeeeeally long hair, and is contemplating getting a tattoo done!! Most people say (and I quite agree with them) he looks like Jesus Christ!! (No offense, dear God!)
Also recently he has turned into a metrosexual, as far as his appearance is concerned!
Everyday, without fail he buffs his nails, shampoos and conditions his hair (only with Ultra Doux), applies all sorts of things on his face, lips etc!!
He takes double the time I take to get ready!!

My dog: no comments: we call her by all sorts of names: tifi, tifu , chipo, chimi, champa, chipi, tipi, tipsi, chimpu, chipu, futti etc etc.
And I have names her confusa-multiple-tiffnitias!!!
That’s her species name. You see, we don’t think she is a dog: she is as coward as a mouse, as fat as a buffalo/hippo/elephant, as dumb as a donkey..
So you see we are confused what kind of a creature she is and she has multiple animal traits!!
She is a lazy thing, lying aroung doing nothing. I would have called her a sack of potatoes, but even a sack of potatoes is more useful than i refer to her as a sacj of rotten potatoes!!
Earleir she used to bark at strangers or welcome us home…
These days she growls/wags her tail lying in one corner, with eyes closed, if at all she chooses to react to anything.
Whenever we see she is not moving, we have to shake her to see if she is still alive or not!
She is also quite a big Dhabba on the Dog community… she has killed over a dozen mice but is shit scared of cats.. even kittens!!!
We are planning to get a new dog to spice up her life a bit... I knwo she is 12 and about to die... but I realy wish she lives for 3-4 years more so I can take her with me as my dahej!! ;-)

As you can make out ours is a totally crazy family: we are also totally crazy about each other!
My parents are also the MOST chilled out people I have ever seen: so much so that we can talk about anything on this earth with them. Heck I remember once we even watched uncensored Kamasutra together at home! Boy was that embarassing, yet fun!
Earlier, during my teenage, I thought I was so unlucky to be stuck with this family, but since I became 17/18, I realised how lucky I am to be with them! They make my life complete. I dunno what I would have done without them.
And seriously, given a chance to choose the ideal set of parents in my next life, I would still choose them!!

Sunday, May 15, 2005


One fine day, a little thought made its way into my mind and created a symbolic story pertaining to the most talked about issue in our country. Let me take upthis opportunity to present to you the musings of my idle mind.

There once lived a very happy family. There was a nice young gentleman calledPaki, who had a lovely wife called Indira. They had four children, two named after Paki called P1 and P2 and two named after Indira called I1 and I2. Theylived in a big, beautiful house, with all luxuries and comforts. They were totally self sufficient in all their needs and at good terms with everyone.They had a large treasure chest in their house, which they were really proud of. In short, they lived very happily, until....

Until one day a stranger from a distant land in the west came to their door knocking. And then they committed a blunder they would never forget..... Theyinvited him to stay with them, for as long as he wished. With passage of time,Mr. Britton, as he called himself, began sweet-talking and winning over everyone in the household. He started telling both husband and wife how each was more superior to the other and ought to live independently. The innocent couple, blinded by the radiance of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow painted by the stranger, began to believe his every word, and began fighting with each other.

Slowly and subtlely Mr. Britton created a rift between them and startedc ompletely controlling their thoughts, deeds and words. Soon he managed to get his hands on the treasure chest too, by breaching the trust of the people who had put their lives in his hands. When Indira and Paki came to know of this,they felt betrayed and chucked Mr. Britton out of the house. But the damage had been done. The treasure was lost, their relationship was totally spoilt and in the end, they had to split.

Everything was divided - the house, the personal belongings, even the children!I1 and I2 went to stay with Indira and P1 and P2 with Paki. Now I1 and P1 , whowere older, more mature, understanding and kind, were broken-hearted, but I2and P2, young and hot blooded, nursed grudges against each other and the"other" family, little realising that there was no family if all of them were separated. While splitting, I2 and P2 created a lot of commotion and bad blood:they became violent and physically hurt the very same people they once so loved! I1 and P1 were greatly saddened by this behaviour and prayed for peace.

At last Paki and Indira settled down in their designated parts of the house.Since they had divided one house into two parts, they faced a lot of problems.They were single-handedly trying to face the harsh realities of life that were so easily taken care of when they were together. They started looking at each other as their enemies and swore to protect their kin from each other. Although they had divided everything, they still had occasional fights about various possessions, subject to mockery by onlookers. Others started to interfere in their personal matters, and filled their mind with filth about each other,increasing their hatred. Soon they started believing that Paki was Muslim andIndira was Hindu and then started the debate on who was better, with neither side agreeing to be any less than the other. I2 and P2, on their part, would throw filth on each other's premises, and get in, in the dark of the night and trouble each other and the others.

This is not just a story, a figment of my imagination. Look closely and you will see its resemblance with the most important problem faced by us today: our relationship with our neighbour. Paki is none other than Pakistan, and Indirais India. Mr.Britton is none other than the British. I1 and P1 are those people in India and Pakistan who do not have any hard feelings against anyone, and I2and P2 are those who do. The treasure chest is what made the pre-divided India to be called the Golden Bird. The Partition was a very difficult time: the land was divided, and people were forced to leave their houses. History is witnessto the horrendous and gory bloodshed, the tears of the doomed, the death of somany dreams and hopes. Women were assaulted and men were killed in the most atrocious and blood-curdling manner. Members of the same family were thirsty for each other's blood!

After the partition, both countries lost out to each other in terms of labour,industries, minerals, land, resources, money etc, and are facing problems till date. They still fight over the Line-of-control and Pakistan-occupied-Kashmir and the state of J&K. Other countries, some pally with Pakistan, some withIndia began to interfere, making matters worse. Religious differences were made the crux of the problem. Both countries speak (inadmittently do) ill of each other. Children in Pakistan are taught in schools that India is their enemy.Indians go to the border to spit on the "Other" side! There is enough of crossborder terrorism to make life hell for those living near the borders who reallydon’t care about these political differences.

Who has gained? Certainly not India and Pakistan, who are still suffering fromthe aftermath. Certainly not the people in those times, who still suffer from nightmares, if they are not dead already. Certainly not us, who lose so much time , effort, money and precious lives of our soldiers in trying to protect our frontiers! But there are those who will gain, after the two countries fight and fight and become the reason for the downfall of each other: they will come to pick up the bones. Do we really want this? Where is the pretty picture everyone painted at the time of the partition? All we seem to have been left with is hatred, sorrow, death, destruction, tears, and terrorism.

Ah! Terrorism! Another oft-misinterpreted term. We have some wrong perceptions,wrong equations, which we must correct. What we must understand today is thatits not
Its I2 + P2 = TERRORISTS and I1 + P1 = INNOCENT

There are good people and bad people on both sides. All Pakistanis do not hate us, nor do All Indians hate them. I don’t hate Pakistanis. I only hate the terrorists, in both countries, the ones causing both countries immense grief.It’s high time we recognise this big difference and get on with doing what is right.

My story does not intend to preach anything. Through this I merely wish to ask every Pakistani and Indian to go for introspection and ask himself/herself just one question: Whose side are you on, I1 + P1 or I2 + P2? Think properly and decide wisely and well, because on your decision, DEPENDS OUR FUTURE!!

Good God!!

In today's world of the Gen X (or Y or Z), the young and the restless are also increasingly becoming the atheist and the faithless. The turn of the century bringing about immense advances in science and medicine, bringing us closer toand opening up secrets of life, and the need to be practical to keep up withthe fast pace of life, leaves us with little time for our faith and our GOD.

Essentially there are two groups of people - those who believe in God, andthose who do not. And then there are those like me who are a little confused about the whole deal. The scientific, rational and practical person in usrefuses to endorse such views, as doing "poojas" and keeping "vrats" and "idolworship". We do not believe in the supernatural, ghosts, life after death, orso-called sciences like astrology and Vaastu Shastra.

Traditionally I do not believe in God. To me, idols in places of worship are stone, and the rites and rituals made up to appease the Gods and ward off evil seem ridiculous. According to me, religion is man made, conceptualized to appease gods and save oneself from disaster, in the days of the early man, when mankind had no idea what was fire or why it rained or that earthquakes cannot be averted through prayers. But today, when we know so much, it still seems we are none the wiser.

As Karl Marx once quoted " Religion is the opium of the people". What has religion given us in the current world scenario? The innumerable number ofriots and Jihads? The murder of joy and peace, one brother killing the other,all in the name of God? Petty religious issues taking precedence over thefeeling of humanity? Look around you, and you will find nothin more. If this is what we get for believing in God, then do we really need Him?

The answer is YES, WE DO! There is a downside of believing in God and following a religion, but there is also an upside. Atleast in the name of God, some poor souls get some money and food in the name of alms and "langars", some people do not commit sins sometimes for the fear of wrath of God, some peope actually do good, say good, think good, believing it to be the path to find God, be safe from devil and hell, and go to heaven after death.

I say- hell and heaven, both are on the earth only, depends on how you look at your life. Depending upon your hardwork and attitude, you may have all the pleasures of heaven here itself, or you may make your life worse than hell. God(good) and Devil (evil), they are you, inside you, inside all of us. It is uptous to decide which form has to surface and be dominant. Some people have adominant devil, some have a dominant god, but all of us have both. Depends upon how we develop ourselves.

Why does a common man need God? What does he look for in Him? What does God provide him? Broadly speaking, God is needed because of the following reasons:

• he helps us when we ae in trouble, and guides us
• he gives us happiness and provides us with material possessions
• we talk to him when our heart and mind are in conflict, share our problems and doubts
• he encourages us when all hope is lost and cheers us when we are sad
• he gives us sadness and hardships so we never forget the importance of happiness
• he punishes us when we commit sins

And to be granted the above, the religious indulge themselves in various formsof worship, like prayers, fasts, charity, festivals, rites, rituals,superstitions etc. Basically they devote themselves to live right and keep Godhappy, that is the source of their happiness.

I am only a little different. I see God in my loved ones, namely my family andother important relationships. I believe that these people are the ones who give me hope, love, guidance, appreciation, help, happiness, sadness,encouragement etc. They fulfil my physical, emotional, financial, material,spiritual, mental needs. They tell us when we go wrong and punish us if we commit sins in spite of knowing about them, they teach us what is good and what is bad.

In short, I believe that if I devote myself to the happiness of these people, Iam going to be happy. They are my God for whom I will toil, they are the path for me to find inner peace. All this IS a bit unconventional, but the questionis, would I be termed as a believer, or an atheist?You Decide!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Idiot Box

Ever thought of your life without Man’s greatest and most important invention?No no, not the wheel, but your life and soul…. your Television!!! We never tire calling it the idiot box, but can you really imagine one day without your own telly? Without the unending saga of Kyunki Saas for Mom, serious Aaj Tak Newsfor Dad, Bugs Bunny and Popeye for kids, evening aarti for Dada/Dadi, Friendsfor Didi/Bhaiya, our world does seem so lost and boring, doesn’t it? We can’teven start imagining what would happen if we were made to live without any television to bring happiness and sunshine in our mundane lives! Just the other day, I encountered a similar situation. The cable-walla had some problems in his connection, and thus, the television was out for the day! And what a day that was!

Mummy, who sits down to get her daily dose of the soaps after doing her household chores, had become really frustrated out of boredom. “How do I pass my day without seeing which Saas is troubling her Bahu, which woman is having an extra marital affair, which scheme the vamp is cooking in her mind?” Littlebrother was outraged: “the TV had to go out today, of all the days, when theGrand Prix is on?????” Surely God is mean, to inflict such cruelty upon Schumacher-fearing/loving/worshipping fans!” But nothing to beat what Dad had to go through…. “Ok, so we cannot watch Des Mein Nikla Hoga Chand, but Pardes mein nikla hai chand, or not, how do we know without the news? What is this world coming to?”

And I sit back and observe, the way this little idiot box has taken over the lives of millions of people! Gone are the days, when the husbands used to come back from work, and TALK to their wives, instead of propping up their legs on the coffee table and watching Sachin bat, or Saddam being hounded. Gone are the days when the kids ACTUALLY went out and played! When was the last time your child, having taken out precious time from tuitions, classes, computer and television, went out to play/cycle/walk etc.? Can’t remember? Nor can I! There just does not seem to be enough interaction with the outside world, since the television has entered our lives. We never seem to have enough time with our spouses, kids, parents, friends…

But can we put the blame squarely on this box? Are we ourselves not to blame?Its us who should chalk out our priorities, decide what’s good and bad for us,what we should do, how often, how long, with whom we should spend time.I am just waiting for the day when the kids really engage in recreation outside the four walls of the house; the teens actually take out time to build upon their fragile relationship with their parents, siblings, grandparents; a family actually sits together and eats and talks; a husband actually spends time with his wife after a long day’s work, and we understand more about the people with whom we live and interact, rather than Jennifer Lopez or Tulsi Virani! And I do hope that day comes soon! Ok, I have to go now; I have missed the first 2 seconds of Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki already!

The Bride's Woe

Ah! The day has come
When she has to leave,
It’s here so soon
She can’t believe.

It seems like only yesterday
When she had turned twenty,
But now, her time left at home
Doesn’t seem plenty.

In a flash, come all
The sweet memories of her past,
She smiles, she laughs, she cries at them
For her, forever will they last.

When she was in pain, her mother comforted her,
When her self was dwindling, her father supported her,
Her brother whose shouts and fights she had to bear,
Even in his eyes today, she can see tears.

No longer is she free
To walk and talk the way she wants,
Even though her in-laws seem friendly,
These thoughts linger and haunt.

“ She’s not too fair and a bit too fat!”
“Don’t you know how to do it? It’s done like that!”
“Sit like this, don’t stand like that!”
The thought of hearing these in the future makes her sad.

She sits in front of the mirror and stares,
At her nubile and naïve appearance.
“Don’t worry you can do it,” echoes her mind,
Thus assured of the future, she gathers her confidence and endurance.

At last, beautiful and graceful she joins her groom,
And they steadfastly take vows together.
Entwining in the eternal bond of love,
They are pronounced husband and wife, forever!

Now comes the saddest part
As now, she has to depart
After bidding goodbye to parents, family and friends,
She now brings all rites and rituals to an end.

She flings back ‘wet’ grains of rice from the doorstep,
Behind her, where her parents collect them
Thus symbolically breaking all ties with her family,
With moist eyes, she leaves them.

Then the day comes when she achieves the fruit of her labor:
Today is the day, her first child, a girl, arrives.
Reminded of her own sad departure on that fateful day,
Overwhelmed, she hugs the child lovingly, with tears in her eyes.

Rain Rain Come Again!

The heavenly earthy smell wafting up the air, the pitter patter of the raindrops, the cool breeze tickling your face, the lush green faces of swayingtrees, the first bath in the first rain, eating pakoras and drinking teasitting in the balcony …. Feels heavenly, doesn’t it? Come rain, and the earthregains its youth and beauty, with all the flora and fauna dancing away toglory, welcoming the respite from the scorching heat. The young lovers fall inlove again, with each other and the romantic weather.

But where there is love, beauty, serenity, there are faulty telephone andelectricity lines, water logged roads, traffic jams, mud splashed shoes andclothes… its not as romantic as it seems. With these things, you feel as ifthere is always something present, waiting to take the fun and beauty out ofeverything. If only we were to overcome these problems, we could really enjoy the lovely weather, and really wish, Rain Rain Come Again!

OF the pitter patter of tiny feet..

I just got up after watching an interesting movie: Hyderabad Blues 2. it revolves around a couple married for 6 years, where the wife is dying to have kids, but the husband is not ready for the responsibility, the resulting fights and tension, and the falling apart of the marriage. What concerns me is not the fights or the couple… but the new trend that has started in our Indian culture as well: the decision to not have children.

Up till now what we saw was a shift in the family system: from joint family to nuclear family, then from working husbands an housewives to Double-income-no-kids households. But even they just delayed the whole process of having a family, owing to the need of settling down. It seems now though, that a completely new and never-before fashion has cropped up: of having no kids at all.

Now why on earth would one not want to have any kids at all??? Isn’t procreation what makes the world go on? Isn’t it what we are here to do, we are supposed to do?? How can anyone choose not to have kids? If everyone stops having children, what will happen to this earth? Hey chill… we don’t have to get so carried away…. Chances that everyone on this earth decides to skip having kids is as high as the sun rising from the west... but nevertheless, a surprisingly large number of people don’t seem bothered, and do not wish to take up the responsibility of progression of human population.

Many couples adopt kids, not because they are unable to have their own, but because they don’t wish to increase the already overburdening pressure of population on earth, and also wish to do something for the orphans. Some adopt because they can’t have kids of their own, either because they are medically unfit, or they are homosexuals. Still others adopt kids because they don’t have life partners, and want children, even at the cost of bringing them up single-handedly.

But there is also another group of people, steadily on the rise, who just don’t want kids. Usually the reason is financial stability. They feel they won’t be able to bring up a child well. But even such couples have at least 1 child. They may wait till they are settled and financially well off before they have children, i.e. they have kids late, maybe very late, but they do. Other reason may be that their marriage/ relationship is on the rocks and they feel having kids may weaken their stand and make it difficult for them to separate if need be, as everyone very well knows the harshest impact of divorce/separation is the children of the couple. Some people don’t have kids due to their career limitations: they believe having kids can wreak havoc on their superb career. As a result, many married actresses/models skip the having children routine, lest they ruin their figure and lose their charm, their USP, their salability.

But what does one say to/think of those people who are physically and mentally fit, financially stable, have a great marriage/relationship, well settled in their jobs… in short possess everything that takes to become great parents, but still opt out of it. They don’t even adopt. They just don’t want kids. As simple as that. Why, you ask? How can a human being naturally not want to procreate? Well… it’s an interesting issue.

These kid-less couples say that they don’t want children simply because they see no need to have kids. Now why on earth do people want to have kids, apart from our basic instinct? Mainly because they feel it’s the natural next step to a relationship/marriage. They are expected to have kids. Many women want kids because they feel incomplete unless they have given birth and experienced the miracle of god. Most couples get bored of their monotonous lives… they want some action and excitement. Some people want support in old age, while others want to continue their lineage. Some have kids just so that their child can take over their business. After all, they can’t leave all that they strove for to some stranger… don’t these things apply to this set of couples as well?

Apparently not. They don’t really care. They are too well settled in their lives, jobs, to let anything upset the schedule, including kids. They don’t think they are ready to have kids….EVER! They don’t think they will have time, or the mental preparation to handle kids. Many people have jobs/ambitions/lifestyle that would be hampered if they had kids. They don’t need support in their old age, they don’t feel empty and lonely, they don’t want to experience creating a new soul, or bringing up another human being. All in all they think having kids is a bad idea, which will ruin their life. In exchange they have to listen to a lot of hushed whispers and eager queries about WHY they don’t have any kids, and suffer a number of shocked and disapproving looks when they tell them they just don’t need kids. But it doesn’t matter to them. They are ready to take a whole lifetime of this nonsense but have made up their minds not to give in to the pressure of parents dying to have grandkids etc., and stick to their decision.

Now I personally don’t have anything against these people… after all it’s their life, and they are the ones responsible for whatever decisions they take. But I do feel that it is a great feeling to be a parent and give birth to and bring up a child. It’s really a gift from God which all of us should accept and experience. There used to be a time when I was sure I was never going to give birth to any kids because the whole process seemed so painful and difficult, right from conception to childbirth to post natal care of the child. But over the years I have mulled over the issue, and have come to the conclusion that everyone must have kids, and OWN kids if possible, including me. Now I want to be a proud mother of a naughty boy and a pretty daughter one day, no matter what I have to do to make that possible and successful! And though I can’t force these people, I sure want to tell them, “Guys, you are missing a lot in life. Life is short, enjoy it and make the most of it while you can. It’s never too late. Maybe you think children are a burden, but trust me, they are god’s most beautiful creation. Try having one child, then you will know of the innumerable pleasures they bring to us, who, in our fast paced lives, have forgotten how to smile!”

Ever wondered....

You know when i first heard of the song "Aaja mahiya" from the film "Fiza", I thought the lyricist had a very sick sense of romance... I actually thought the words were .. " Aa thook maloo main tere haathon mein.." Now why would Hrithik want to smear his spit on Neha's hands??? Whenever i hear my friends say it was their favourite song, I thought they were so weird. Much later I realised it was actually "Aa DHOOP maloo main tere haathon mein.." Oops!

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Hey All!
Welcome to my world!
I like to address myself as Sugar & Spice.. cuz that's exactly what I am!!
For more information about me and my world, do feel free to look this blogspot up whenever you can and want to...
S&S :-)