She couldn’t believe it was happening. It was all wrong timing. She tried to tell herself it was stress induced. But now she was far too late for it to be just a routine delay. She knew it wasn’t that straightforward. Nothing was, for her.
They had been trying for a baby for a while. Given their medical reports and their indulgent lifestyle, the doctors had suggested they work on improving their health before they try. After a year of working hard on diet and exercise they started trying. Slowly, a year passed. And then two. And then more. They were nearing 35 and had given up on having their own kid. They weren’t desperate enough to consider IVF, or surrogacy/adoption, and decided it was the will of God/their luck, and moved on.
After years of disappointment, they made other plans for life, and worked towards their career. Anil had just got a posting in Hong Kong from January, and she was due for a promotion next March, hoping to join Anil soon after he went. They were just getting their life on track. And now this. Why does everything have to happen at the wrong time?
She opened the urine pregnancy test box gingerly, and slowly walked to the bathroom. She had seen this situation a million times on American TV shows where a woman takes the test and is shocked to discover she is pregnant! Sohini never thought this would be happening to her. It was like an out of body experience for her. After peeing on the stick, she laid it out on the counter as instructed, and waited for the result. She was anxious, with her foot tapping and her fingers drumming the surface, so she decided to step out and divert her mind to relax.
And suddenly it struck her – how would she tell her husband? What would be his reaction? There was no knowing with him – he was unpredictable and moody. Would he be happy? Shocked? Upset? She took her mobile phone and whatsapped Anil – “Listen, we need to talk.” And she wondered what would happen when he got back home. The doorbell would ring, she would open the door. Anil would see her worry stricken face, and ask her what happened. And she would say – “I think I’m pregnant!”
Scenario 1
Anil was shocked. “Pregnant, Sohini? Are you sure?” “Yes Anil, I just tested, and I’m very late.” “Hmmm. Maybe it’s a false positive. Don’t worry we will test again. Its not possible really, we have always been careful”. “But accidents happen Anil. Condoms break all the time. And last month after the party at Kapoors’, im not even sure we used protection. This could very well be happening. I think so, I feel it.” “We can’t be doing this Sohini. Let’s be practical. I have to go to HK next month, you will join me a few months later, both of us in a new profile in a new city. We can’t be having a child! We will test again and if this is really true, I think we should abort.” “But Anil, we always wanted a child and this is our chance. How can you even think of abortion?” “Baby I know, we have yearned for a child. But it is not enough to have a child. We need to plan everything. If we do this we might regret it later. We can always try again. Heck, this would prove we are capable of conception. Once we are settled in our jobs in HK I promise you we will give this another try okay? Now cheer up!”
Sohini looked at him resignedly. She knew he was talking sense. But a small part of her didn’t want to be practical. She was torn between prudence and emotion. What was she going to do?
Scenario 2
Anil was shocked! “Pregnant? Are you sure Sohini?” “Yes Anil, I just tested, and I’m very late.” “Oh my God Sohini, finally the Gods have answered our prayers! This is fantastic news! After the big job news last month, now this… I’m so happy!” They hug. Sohini is happy he is happy but a little conflicted. “But what about the job, Anil?” “What about it? I will go next month as planned and you will join me asap. We will have the baby there!” “But how will we manage?” “Don’t worry about all that now. HK has the best medical facilities and my company is providing us with all perks. We will get a full time maid, and you can call your parents to help whenever you want!” “But what about my job?” “That you will have to figure out. You have been with them for 3 years now, I am sure they will make amendments and adjust if you need some flexibility. And anyway after the baby you will get maternity leave. With a nanny and your mom’s help I’m positive things will work out.” “Are you sure? You’re so sure, I don’t know.” “What are you saying Sohini, do you not want this? I promise to stand by you and help you in every way. I will take care of you and pitch in. Trust me!”
Sohini looked at him and wondered – will it really work out? Should I trust him? Will this hurt my career?
Scenario 3
Anil calmly asked her – “Did you take a test?” “I just did. And I’m late. It’s obvious.” “Hmmm, okay. Let’s think of this one step at a time. We need to figure out if it’s really happening. And then decide if we both want this at the moment or not. We should talk to the doctors and figure if there are any medical red flags. If all is ok, then let’s think of our jobs. Talk to our bosses. Parents. Friends. Chart out the pros and cons. Figure out the money situation. The job situation – location situation. We can choose to move, or I can cancel my posting, stay back. We could take our parents’ help if needed. Or we could also decide not to go ahead. Lets not hurry and worry. Let us think this through and after a thorough understanding of what we want and what makes sense, we will take a call. I know this is what you really wanted, but I also know your career matters to you a lot. I won’t force anything on you. I am there for you but we know you have to do the bigger job here, so why don’t we talk this through and do what’s best for us? We don’t have to do this right now. And either way, know that I love you!”
Sohini hugged him, relieved that they didn’t have to decide right this moment. She was overwhelmed. So much had to be figured out. But they would do it together!
Back to reality
The door bell pulled Sohini out of her reverie. She knew it was Anil. But before she opened the door, she quickly went to the bathroom to check the result of the test. It was a clear NEGATIVE. She didn’t know if she was happy or sad. The bell rang again so she hurried to the door and opened it. A harried Anil looked at her and asked “You sounded ominous… What did you want to talk about?” She smiled at him and said “Oh nothing, just wanted to order in dinner today. What would you like to eat?”
The end.
