U - turn (a small fiction story based on my dream)

It was raining that day. And she was caught unawares, without an umbrella or a raincoat. But she could not miss the appointment, the most important appointment of her life. 

She hurried out of the autorickshaw after paying and ran into the premises of the family court. Under a tin roof, she took shelter and checked the time. 10:45 am. She was half an hour early. Better late than never, she told herself and walked towards the main entrance of the building. She checked for her appointment: yes it is in order, yes we will call you around 11:30, please be around, please provide your mobile no. After ensuring she will be contacted, she drifted away, looking for something to do to kill time. 

She looked outside the foggy window and noticed the signboard for the court canteen. Not a bad idea, she thought, and made a dash for the building in front of her. She was quite shocked to see the canteen: it was much larger than expected and even that early in the morning it was chockablock with people. It took her some time before she could find a dry seat and clean table for herself. She ordered a cold drink and sat there, sipping on the drink, looking absentmindedly outside the window. 

Suddenly she was roused back into reality by a young woman who was apparently talking to her. Excuse me, if you are alone, do you mind if I sit on this chair? She nodded in agreement and went back to her day dreaming. The woman however, persisted. Are you alone? What work do you have? Ive come to collect my Marriage certificate, the woman said, my husband is running late, am just waiting for him... She gave the woman a half smile and told her she had come here to collect her final divorce papers. The smile across the woman's face vanished, as she blushed and said sorry. Sorry. The woman felt sorry for her. Did she feel sorry for herself? Before she could contemplate anymore, she got a call from the office. Her turn had come. She smiled and excused herself from the table and headed with determination towards the building. 

"Its ok, its over, no big deal, you can do it, you have come this far, this is the last step", she told herself. As she walked into the room, the officer looked at her from up to down, then confirmed her details, and asked her to sign the acknowledgement copy. 

She stood there transfixed for a few seconds. This was really happening. Her marriage of 6 years was coming to an end. The officer requested her to hurry up, there were others waiting. She quickly drew out a pen, and with shivering hands, signed the register. She was quickly handed over her folder and the officer called out "Next!" 

She walked out of the room, the building slowly. Reality was finally sinking. She could barely make it to the gate. Every step was heavy as she took it. Its like what she had suggested, what she had wanted, what she had fought for, what she had spent sleepless nights thinking about, was with her. 

Butt she did not want it anymore. She wanted to go back. Back six years. when all was happy and fun. She looked at the folder starting to get wet with the raindrops, so she ran towards the main road and hailed an autorickshaw. As she sat in there, she looked at the papers again. She did not want to open and read them. She knew what they said. She knew it was over. She knew she could never go back? Or could she? Maybe she could. Maybe she could tell him that she has changed her mind and she would like to give them another chance. After all that she put him through to get here, she wasnt sure he would believe her. But there was no harm in trying! What if he did agree? What if they could rekindle their relationship? What if they could be happy again? 

Suddenly the day changed from a gloomy dreary rainy day to a bright sunny day. It stopped raining, the sun peeked out of the clouds. She smiled and told the auto driver "change of plans, please take me to Andheri instead of Juhu." I need to go back to him, tell him I still love him, ask him if he will marry me again. I have to go back and change my life. 

And as the auto took the u-turn, she tore the papers and threw them outside near a dumpster, where in the mud and water they melted into oblivion.

The Mumbai Signal: A One-stop Shop!

Gone are the days when you shopped at the kirana or the mom-n-pop stores down the street or around the corner. With time one saw the advent of departmental stores,w hich stacked everything you needed, in neat little spaces, all under one roof. Small stores lead to big ones, and they got bigger and bigger till they became Hyper!

But the latest format of sales which seems to have hit the urban cities, especially one as diversely populated as Mumbai, is the signal market (yes they call it signal here, not "red light" as they do in Delhi!). "Whats that?", I hear you say? Well let me elaborate!

Wanna taste the first mango/strawberry of the season? Bored on the long trip home, wish you could catch up with the latest gossip in the cine magazine or catch the latest Jeffrey Archer book? Looking for a matching trinket for the latest dress you just bought? Wish you could pacify your kid making a ruckus on the back seat, with a drawing book or a toy? Fancy a cute or cool stickon decoration for the dashboard, or maybe a an ornate vase/statue for home? Just had a fight with your wife/gf and wished you had some flowers to make up? Running late for a party where you needed a cool contraption like the glowing devil horns? Phone runs out of battery, wish you had a car charger? Feeling hungry, looking for a quick snack like peanuts or something? Well look no further! your friendly traffic signal on the way to home/work will give you all that and more!

Gone are the days when the only thing you got n signals (atleast Delhi signals) were gola (or nariyal), fake (or maybe real) Bisleri water bottles, mid-day newspaper and people selling aggarbattis and orange dusting cloths for your car. From food, to latest contraptions, to flowers to reading material... you got it all in just 2 minutes that you wait at the signal. Dare you stop and you are hoarded by a plethora of products to choose from.

However, Caveat Emptor! There is no guarantee of these things, which look very nice from the window but may turn out to be totally different once you reach home and check em out! And the constant buzzing and knocking of the irritating hawkers may get to you, especially on some of the longer signals (yes, some of them have a waiting time of upto 10 minutes sometimes!), and ofcourse the other irritants like beggars and eunuchs! Some of the hawkers are weird too: some book sellers always ask me for a lift across the sea link to Bandra from Worli sea face! These days another favourite ploy to rid you of money is to pretend someone died, and ask for money for teh funeral: funny how teh same wman loses her relative every day!! And then there are the Eunuchs who love to touch you (atleast men, thank god not women), to get you to pay them! God bless if you try to get away with paying them just a measly fiver! And some just dont stop bargaining, like starting with Rs 300 for the box of strawberries, and coming down to as low as Rs 50!

Sure there are pros and cons but sometimes you do get some neat bargains and cool stuff at the signal that you not have seen or picked up otherwise. And the time you save by doing the shopping on the go! No need to park the car, or hunt for shops! :)

I just thank god Mumbaikars dont believe in Shani, and we are not hounded by people asking for money for Shani Maharaj on Saturdays, wearing hideous black clothes, and carrying decayed blackened metal tins with photos of random deities! Well, that is another thing to love about aamchi Mumbai! :D

Well time to wrap up and get ready for another trip around the city: looking forward to the latest stuff on the block, or shall I say signal? ;)

Blood is thicker than water?

One thing I have observed over the years, in media, in real life: blood really is thicker than water. Its amazing how much we care about our parents, siblings, and children, but alas, the same devotion is not to be there for spouses. Not to say there is no love, but when compared, blood ties win over love ties, even if just by a shade.

Look around. There are divorces happening by the second. Funny how we dont hesitate before parting ways with our life partner. But have you heard of divorce form kids or parents? Sure not everyone treats their parents or kids well. But a majority of us manage lifelong relations with our parents, because we owe them, and we accept who they are. Same for our kids.. they are our own flesh and blood, we create them, so we have a speacial attachment which goes even beyond our parents/siblings. Such emotion!

Similarly why cant we accept our partners for what they are? Why is there always this divorce option we can resort to? Why cant we just work on the relationship like we do for our parents/kids? I dont mean one should accept abuse or adultery. But these are hardly reasons for divorce these days. People part on petty everyday issues. Due to "irreconciliable differences". I see people willing to kill and die for their kids. But few can do it for their partners. Dont we understand if it were not for our partners we would not have the kids?

Today, trust comes naturally from blood ties. We blindly trust our parents, but are more suspicious of our spouses. I feel atleast in the indian context, when a child is born to a couple, the love relation of the couple dies and parental relationship emerges, and stays forever. No space for love anymore. Life revolves around kids. I am totally for taking care of parents/siblings/kids the best way you can, but to ignore relation with your spouse as a lover, as a companion in the whole race for taking care of others, is sad.

So much is said, written about love. Our books, movie, music... everything revolves around love. But what happens to love some time after marriage? Seems today no one really needs a life partner. You have friends for company and intellectual stimulation, flings for physical need, and servants to do everything else. Need a kid? just adopt, or go for IVF etc. Seems marriage, and life partners have outlived their use.

Great idea. No lazy husbands or nagging wives. No feeling of being bound. Everyone is independent and free to do whatever they want. But remember: one day, your parenst will be no more, your kids will have a life of their own, and the only person you will have is your partner. And if you have not given importance to that relationship, or you dont have a partner, you will be lonely till the end of your life. And trust me, loneliness is the worst disease of them all.

Someone please tell me

I do not have the time, patience or inclination to read lengthy newspaper articles nor sit glued to news channels, so I may not know inctricate details of the proceedings of the case. But someone please tell me.. Why are we just not hanging Kasab? It has been over a year since the 26/11 carnage, there is every proof available that Kasab is guilty... then why discuss a details of a million charges one by one, even when he has pretty much pleaded guilty to his crimes? Seriously why is this trial taking forever, why are funds being spent on keeping him in custody, whay the hell are the authorities dilly-dallying? IS there any doubt he is a monster who killed so many people? Havent they gotten out enough from him? Whats the point in dragging this forever? Enough words. Time for some action now. Cmon lets hang him and get over with this finally.

Defining Religion

I have been feeling a surging emotion for a few months now. Every time I think about what my religion is, I feel unsure. What should I say?

Technically I am born into a Hindu family. But isn't religion about believing in the teachings and following the way of life prescribed by it? That way I am quite the non-believer. Though I have been brought up to perform and participate in basic festivals/poojas, I primarily indulge in teh same to be part of the community. It is fun when everyone sits around, and dresses up, has yummy food, etc. But if you ask me if I believe in idol-worship, keeping fasts, giving money/food to temples/animals, doing all night jagrans.. I would politely decline.

Though I am not as smug as to believe there is no power, as I am still struggling with answers to many of life's questions, like what are we doing on this earth, how and most importantly did the whole universe come into being... I still dont believe in a particular GOD, or theory, or principle. I am also not a firm believer in destiny... that one is helpless, everything is already written for you. I believe everyone makes their own luck or destiny.. we are given situations, and how we react to them, is our choice and hence we decide the course of our lives.

As for GOD/DEVIL I think it is just about good and bad, a little bit of both of which is there in every human being. What part manifests itself more, is upto the person and their situation. Same for HEAVEN/HELL... it is all here on this earth. Whatever you do, good or bad, you reap teh benefits here in your lifetime only.

However, I still think that there is some power, which is behind all which is inexplicable to me, most of the things are otherwise explained by science. But Ramji, Allah, Jesus... I think they all are just mythology. No offense to those who believe in religion and GOD, I have utmost respect for believers. Even if I dont necessarily subscribe to their beliefs.

So where does that place me? I am not exactly an Atheist. Maybe agnostic. But what do I say when someoen asks me my religion? These days I have resorted to saying "None". However absurd it may sound, but that is the truth. Why is it so difficult for someone to accept that someone may not want to have a religion? Why cant we have a column in every damn form where there is an option under religion "None"? It may be common, acceptable, even fashionable abroad to not be religious, but in a country like ours, it is unimaginable. Wonder why.

I am not religious, and I am not ashamed of it. I am thankful when good happens, and I pray for safety when something bad happens. But to no one in particular. I just wish for what I want, from teh bottom of my heart, hoping it comes true.

I am waiting for the day when I will be asked to fill up the religion option in a form or something. And I will leave it blank. And I will be questioned. And I will answer. Lets see what happens then.

A couple was in the news recently, for doing just that. The husband is Muslim, the wife (coincidentally named Aditi), a Hindu. They had a baby, and while getting a birth certificate, the question of religion arose. They decided to not give any religion as an option, they wanted to leave that choice with their children when they grew up. But alas, the authorities would not accept it. "Are you ashamed of beinh a Hindu/Muslim?", they asked. "We are not ashmed of our roots but we dont practise our religion", the couple quipped. Nevertheless, the certificate is auto-generated and cant be printed if any information is left blank. The authorities suggested going for "Others" option. Though the couple was not happy with that, as that option still means defining what religion one has apart from the commonly known ones, in the absence of any other way out, the couple relented.

Like them I know I will be faced with this situation many times in my life, while making a passport, admitting a child in school, or getting admitted into a hospital; but I intend to stick to my guns. Wonder if there will be a day when it wont be frowned upon, or even noticed, when I just leave it blank, or better still there is an option "Not Applicable" or "Atheist/Agnostic"!