Wednesday, April 02, 2008


Last evening I found a huge horrible lizard in the loo, and ever since that discovery, I refused to go, until the maid came in the morning and confirmed the loo is lizard free. Although I locked up the slimy creature in the loo, I could hardly sleep all night for the fear it will somehow escape and run towards me! I got up in the middle of the night, shut every door and window to stop any lizards from coming. Not that an army was waiting to enter my room, but I always feel that all the lizards are out to get me whenever I see one.

I hate these reptilian monsters... Yeah you are damn right they are like monsters to me. Though you can make me watch as many Nat Geo series on reptiles, if I see one in front of me, I am either repulsed or scared out of my wits. God only knows why he made such creatures, like lizards and cockroaches and frogs. (I know there is a scientific reason for the existence of every creature, the food chain etc etc... as you know this is a rhetoric question, just a crib!)

Speaking of frogs, they are pretty harmless and not so ugly looking but they still freaked me out. At the IIMA campus, my room was next to a small bog which filled with water during monsoons, and as you can imagine, became a haven for these ribbitting creatures. Paro, my neighbour, would remember the umpteen number of times we girls living in the basement floor chucked out frogs out of our rooms. Rather Paro chucked them out for us. She was our knight in shining armour... rescuing us from the ambush of roaches and lizards and croaky toads, without a hint of fear on her face.

I must admit it was only after I started staying at my dorm in IIMA that I managed to be somehow tolerable of these creatures, especially lizards, who coexisted with us in our bedrroms and bathrooms peacefully. I am kinda intolerant of them now as I sleep on the floor, and I dream of these creatures crawling all over me. It has happened a few times with me at home. Whenever I sleep in my parents' room when guests are sleeping in mine, I sleep on the mattress on the floor, and invariably im woken up by a cockroach climbing up my leg.. Eeeeks!

Back at home I always had my doggie Tiffany, who loved to hunt those unfortunate lizards who dared to leave the security of high walls and crawl on the floors. I mean seriously, night or day, anytime you say "chhipkali" and Tiffany would rise and run around the house, scanning the walls for any sign of these disgusting things, and if she managed to find one on the floor, the poor thing was killed in a matter of seconds. Mind you my dog was very intelligent. She really understood the meaning of words. Like when u said chhipkali she looked at the walls, when you said chuha she scanned the floor's nooks and crannies, and when you said kabootar, she would look outside the window and scare them away with her barking! She also knew doggie, billi, bhains (she really hated buffalos, would bark her head off at them, but did not care much for cows... maybe she was racist?) But Tiffany was a brave dog. She killed more than half a dozen lizards, and more than a dozen mice in her lifetime. However there was only one skeleton in her closet - she used to get smacked by cats on her nose... even kittens. Cats were her nemesis, and no matter how much she pretended to scare them to impress us, we all knew in hearts of our hearts that Tiffany is no match for a cat. Any cat.

Anyway back to lizards... I dont know why I am scared of them so much. I guess it runs in my family. I remember, about 15 years or so ago, when all of us cousins used to visit grandparents in Calcutta. I remember that day when all my cousins and aunts were in his room, playing scrabble and chatting away at night, when suddenly my cousin shrieked... there was a lizard in the room! Everyone started to scramble, while we little kids all aged 6 and below, were quite unsure of what was happening. My elder sisters and aunts, all cowards, ran to the other corner of the room, huddled together, shivering with fear. And then, the heroine rose to the occasion. Rather she was forced to. They gave a a long jhaadu and made me stand on the corner of the bed next to the lizard and shoo it out of the room. Can you imagine? In a room full of adult women, a small 6 year old girl was shooing away the lizard!! I certainly felt important and brave that time, but not so much right now. I guess even I am turning into a scaredy cat when it comes to reptiles and insects. The only creatures I am not afraid of are ticks.. I used to search my doggie's coat for ticks all the time and they are teh only insects I have been able to hold and kill. Otherwise even the smallest of these things makes me cry out loud!

Anyway I think I have rambled on enough for this random post, will rush to get ready for office now, please pray for me that the lizard is not waiting for me in a corner in there, poised to attack me! Cuz of all the people in the world, I don't want to become lucky by having a lizard fall on my head or anywhere else for that matter!


Yashika Totlani said...

This is as random as it gets! Lizards....?!?!?

Okay... a post I can relate to easily. Iv had those times when there have been lizards in the loo n iv refused to step inside until they are removed. Very recently, I decided to exercise my grey cells n be innovative with the lizard-kingdom. That translated into spaying oodles of black 'hit' on it in anticipation of killing it. As expected, it didnt die but got wobbly in the knees. Then I called mama to throw the slimy thing out. Eewwks.

Keep writing :)

Sugar&Spice said...

haha good one yashika... ill have to try that!!

~Abhi said...

The black Hit wont help, unless you use it as a flame-thrower :D

the post reminded me of a friend who has a similar "love" for lizzies..
you might get an idea or two here :)

Ashen Glow said...

Well you are forgetting something dear... Tiffany had this amazing tendency to bark at me as well..
And i used to wonder why she did that in spite of having known me for years (and the zillion times that iv been to your place)..
Did you say reptiles?.. umm.. Crabs arent reptiles are they?...
Shucks.. but they are crawly things after all.. Sigh!! Tiffany, Tiffany... So it was the Crab that you used to bark at..
And now adi, you can tell the whole world that your doggie befriended the Crab in the end...
See? all good hindi movies have a happy ending! :)
And tadaaa!! now its Laila's turn!

Sathish said...

You don't eat lizards?!!

lovish agarwal said...

ROFLMAO.. Tiffany a racist :O!! hahahahaha... It was as usual a very intriguing article... By the way did the lizard fell on your head? I hope she did!! :P Kidding!!

Sugar&Spice said...

no satish i dont eat lizards...

thanks abhi.... for teh tip n teh link... :)

dont worry lekha... crabs are not reptiles :))and wish u all the best with laila... cuz given how darpok the dog is, i think teh situation is the other way round thsi time!!

thank god she disappeared... else i wd not have entered the loo for ages! :P

Beauty and the BEast said...

I must admit mid-way thru my read I did feel 'left out in the wild.' Lizards, reptiles, frogs... Dogs bought me back to real life.
My hound loves to hunt lizards as well.She then in all promptness plops her hunt at my feet and looks at me with pleading eyes, expecting a pat for her achievement...

Whats a woman to do?? :)