Monday, March 11, 2013

Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!

Blood indeed in thicker than water. Whether consciously or unintentionally, we have a tendency to be biased towards our immediate family over others.

For instance, I see all around me working people, especially guys, who live with their parents are spoilt. Mom cooks and serves food to them, does their laundry, makes their bed. Since they are working they are pretty much exempt from doing household chores. Moms go out of their way to make life comfortable for them no matter what age. They dont ask them to lift even a finger.

However all changes if the son gets married, especially to a working woman, n decides to continue living with parents. The moment the daughter in law arrives, mothers expect her to wake up early, cook food, do all household chores. Its like they were waiting for her to arrive, as if she were a maid, to retire from their daily duties.

This I feel is unfair. If you expect your dil to chip in, the same is to be expected from the son. You cant allow the son to sleep in late, not clean up after himself, while expecting the dil to be up early n working. Your son doesnt cook cuz he never learnt, he was busy doing other things like studying etc. Probably so was his wife. Your son has a long day at work and is thus exempt from chores. So should be his equally hardworking and tired wife. Any set of rules or instructions should never be just for the woman but for the man as well. If you cant ask your son for something, dont ask your dil either. Its hypocrisy.

Which is not to say parents should slave after children forever. Or children shouldnt chip in. But whether son or daughter or dil, make the same rules for sharing responsibilities around the house from the beginning and stick to it. No biases. N if you dont have a system in place or cant enforce one, be happy with whatever children voluntarily help with. Dont just force it only down the poor dil's throat. Spare her: she is also someone's daughter. And an equal in the family. Not an outsider.

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