I have been feeling a surging emotion for a few months now. Every time I think about what my religion is, I feel unsure. What should I say?
Technically I am born into a Hindu family. But isn't religion about believing in the teachings and following the way of life prescribed by it? That way I am quite the non-believer. Though I have been brought up to perform and participate in basic festivals/poojas, I primarily indulge in teh same to be part of the community. It is fun when everyone sits around, and dresses up, has yummy food, etc. But if you ask me if I believe in idol-worship, keeping fasts, giving money/food to temples/animals, doing all night jagrans.. I would politely decline.
Though I am not as smug as to believe there is no power, as I am still struggling with answers to many of life's questions, like what are we doing on this earth, how and most importantly did the whole universe come into being... I still dont believe in a particular GOD, or theory, or principle. I am also not a firm believer in destiny... that one is helpless, everything is already written for you. I believe everyone makes their own luck or destiny.. we are given situations, and how we react to them, is our choice and hence we decide the course of our lives.
As for GOD/DEVIL I think it is just about good and bad, a little bit of both of which is there in every human being. What part manifests itself more, is upto the person and their situation. Same for HEAVEN/HELL... it is all here on this earth. Whatever you do, good or bad, you reap teh benefits here in your lifetime only.
However, I still think that there is some power, which is behind all which is inexplicable to me, most of the things are otherwise explained by science. But Ramji, Allah, Jesus... I think they all are just mythology. No offense to those who believe in religion and GOD, I have utmost respect for believers. Even if I dont necessarily subscribe to their beliefs.
So where does that place me? I am not exactly an Atheist. Maybe agnostic. But what do I say when someoen asks me my religion? These days I have resorted to saying "None". However absurd it may sound, but that is the truth. Why is it so difficult for someone to accept that someone may not want to have a religion? Why cant we have a column in every damn form where there is an option under religion "None"? It may be common, acceptable, even fashionable abroad to not be religious, but in a country like ours, it is unimaginable. Wonder why.
I am not religious, and I am not ashamed of it. I am thankful when good happens, and I pray for safety when something bad happens. But to no one in particular. I just wish for what I want, from teh bottom of my heart, hoping it comes true.
I am waiting for the day when I will be asked to fill up the religion option in a form or something. And I will leave it blank. And I will be questioned. And I will answer. Lets see what happens then.
A couple was in the news recently, for doing just that. The husband is Muslim, the wife (coincidentally named Aditi), a Hindu. They had a baby, and while getting a birth certificate, the question of religion arose. They decided to not give any religion as an option, they wanted to leave that choice with their children when they grew up. But alas, the authorities would not accept it. "Are you ashamed of beinh a Hindu/Muslim?", they asked. "We are not ashmed of our roots but we dont practise our religion", the couple quipped. Nevertheless, the certificate is auto-generated and cant be printed if any information is left blank. The authorities suggested going for "Others" option. Though the couple was not happy with that, as that option still means defining what religion one has apart from the commonly known ones, in the absence of any other way out, the couple relented.
Like them I know I will be faced with this situation many times in my life, while making a passport, admitting a child in school, or getting admitted into a hospital; but I intend to stick to my guns. Wonder if there will be a day when it wont be frowned upon, or even noticed, when I just leave it blank, or better still there is an option "Not Applicable" or "Atheist/Agnostic"!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Chivalry is dead these days.... or not!!
Chivalry is a much debated topic in these modern times. Whether its about how much is too much (Sir Walter Raliegh laying down his coat over a puddle to let Queen Elizabeth cross it) or too little (opening doors, offering seats), to the feminists vehemently calling it a violation of their rights to equality (I know of friends who refuse to take the ladies' seats in buses etc), chivalry is popularly discussed amongst us. But whether chivalry is dead these days, I am never able to make up my mind!
A few months ago I was travelling from Delhi to Mumbai. When we landed in Mumbai, and got into the bus which transfers to the airport, 2 people were discussing how Delhiites are such MCPs while Mumbaiites are more chivalrous, taking an example within the bus of a man, who was contentedly sitting on a seat while a lady next to him was standing, looking uncomfortable. I heard the comment but felt bad for the guy, cuz I did see his gesture towards to woman to offer her a seat, but she herself refused.
Though I don't know if there was any merit in this statement, and having lived in and loved both Mumbai and Delhi I was unable to decide.... when 2 incidents occurred on my recent trips to Delhi which both asserted as well as refuted that statement of Delhiites not being chivalrous.
In my first incident I was visiting a doctor with my mother. I went up to the clinic to have a quick meeting and get back, while my mother stayed back in the car. As soon as I got back and started to leave, I realised the key had got stuck and something inside the ignition had broken because of which I could not start the car. Now the car was parked on the roadside, not a parking, as I had intended to be there only for a few minutes. But we were now stuck on the busy roadside, where soon our car was a hindrance to the already very heavy traffic.
Soon the traffic policeman came and asked us sternly to remove the car from there ASAP. We tried to explain the situation to him, but to no avail. We called a helpline, who promised to be there in half hour, but eventually turned up more than an hour later. All that while we were continuously harassed by the policemen, and were forced to move the car on neutral, manually. Mom and I got out and started to push the car towards a nearby lane. The road was unsuitable and our strength not enough to make much headway... I looked around and saw we were near a bus stand and just next to us many people, all men, were standing. But in spite of seeing two women haplessly trying to move a car by themselves, not one guy budged. They kept standing there watching the tamasha! I got really pissed and asked someone to help... and not a single guy came forward.. they just stared at me shamelessly! I told them off, telling them what a shame it was that they would not help two women in distress... not one guy felt ashamed enough to come up to help even then. I was so pissed off that day, I can express. Downright shameful behaviour, like I have never seen before. No feeling of humanity in anyone! That day I made up my mind, that indeed Delhi men were a bunch of asses.
Till I changed my mind a few weeks back, on another trip to Delhi. That day mom, dad and I were travelling to my in-laws' place, which is a good 35 km away. We had barely left our house that it started to drizzle and 2 km into the journey, we had a flat tyre! Now we had a spare, but it was raining, and we were dressed for an outing, and I was with my 55 and 65 yr old parents... Nevertheless Dad and I got out and started to work on replacing the tyre, while mom tried to hold up an umbrella for us.. again we asked a few rickshaw-walas to help... we even offered money. But no one bothered. Dad refused to let me do the hard work, and started working on removing the tyre while i assisted him. Seeing him do this brought tears in my eyes, less out of sadness and desperation and more out of frustration on the lack of some good samaritans in this city! When suddenly a Wagon R stopped and a middle aged and an old man came out, both of them with folded hands saying "Bhaisaab, can we be of any help in any way?" And then they took over, refusing to let any of us help, and both of them (the old man with an injured hand too) changed the tyres in the pouring rain, and ensured all was well, before bidding us good bye. I did not know how to thank them, not that they asked for anything. I wanted to express my thanks in some way, but giving money for example, felt like an insult to their genuine help and concern. So we all just thanked them profusely with words and bid them good bye and good luck.
And that is how I came back to square one.
Since then I have thought about this and various other experiences and incidents and though, with the attitude towards women being much better in Mumbai than in Delhi, Ive come to a conclusion that chivalry is very much alive, even if in a few men, and no matter what the statistics reveal, I think it has nothing to do with the country or city or religion or education... A true gentleman can be of any caste, age, background, and touch your life out of the blue in unexpected ways, and make you feel truly, like a lady!
A few months ago I was travelling from Delhi to Mumbai. When we landed in Mumbai, and got into the bus which transfers to the airport, 2 people were discussing how Delhiites are such MCPs while Mumbaiites are more chivalrous, taking an example within the bus of a man, who was contentedly sitting on a seat while a lady next to him was standing, looking uncomfortable. I heard the comment but felt bad for the guy, cuz I did see his gesture towards to woman to offer her a seat, but she herself refused.
Though I don't know if there was any merit in this statement, and having lived in and loved both Mumbai and Delhi I was unable to decide.... when 2 incidents occurred on my recent trips to Delhi which both asserted as well as refuted that statement of Delhiites not being chivalrous.
In my first incident I was visiting a doctor with my mother. I went up to the clinic to have a quick meeting and get back, while my mother stayed back in the car. As soon as I got back and started to leave, I realised the key had got stuck and something inside the ignition had broken because of which I could not start the car. Now the car was parked on the roadside, not a parking, as I had intended to be there only for a few minutes. But we were now stuck on the busy roadside, where soon our car was a hindrance to the already very heavy traffic.
Soon the traffic policeman came and asked us sternly to remove the car from there ASAP. We tried to explain the situation to him, but to no avail. We called a helpline, who promised to be there in half hour, but eventually turned up more than an hour later. All that while we were continuously harassed by the policemen, and were forced to move the car on neutral, manually. Mom and I got out and started to push the car towards a nearby lane. The road was unsuitable and our strength not enough to make much headway... I looked around and saw we were near a bus stand and just next to us many people, all men, were standing. But in spite of seeing two women haplessly trying to move a car by themselves, not one guy budged. They kept standing there watching the tamasha! I got really pissed and asked someone to help... and not a single guy came forward.. they just stared at me shamelessly! I told them off, telling them what a shame it was that they would not help two women in distress... not one guy felt ashamed enough to come up to help even then. I was so pissed off that day, I can express. Downright shameful behaviour, like I have never seen before. No feeling of humanity in anyone! That day I made up my mind, that indeed Delhi men were a bunch of asses.
Till I changed my mind a few weeks back, on another trip to Delhi. That day mom, dad and I were travelling to my in-laws' place, which is a good 35 km away. We had barely left our house that it started to drizzle and 2 km into the journey, we had a flat tyre! Now we had a spare, but it was raining, and we were dressed for an outing, and I was with my 55 and 65 yr old parents... Nevertheless Dad and I got out and started to work on replacing the tyre, while mom tried to hold up an umbrella for us.. again we asked a few rickshaw-walas to help... we even offered money. But no one bothered. Dad refused to let me do the hard work, and started working on removing the tyre while i assisted him. Seeing him do this brought tears in my eyes, less out of sadness and desperation and more out of frustration on the lack of some good samaritans in this city! When suddenly a Wagon R stopped and a middle aged and an old man came out, both of them with folded hands saying "Bhaisaab, can we be of any help in any way?" And then they took over, refusing to let any of us help, and both of them (the old man with an injured hand too) changed the tyres in the pouring rain, and ensured all was well, before bidding us good bye. I did not know how to thank them, not that they asked for anything. I wanted to express my thanks in some way, but giving money for example, felt like an insult to their genuine help and concern. So we all just thanked them profusely with words and bid them good bye and good luck.
And that is how I came back to square one.
Since then I have thought about this and various other experiences and incidents and though, with the attitude towards women being much better in Mumbai than in Delhi, Ive come to a conclusion that chivalry is very much alive, even if in a few men, and no matter what the statistics reveal, I think it has nothing to do with the country or city or religion or education... A true gentleman can be of any caste, age, background, and touch your life out of the blue in unexpected ways, and make you feel truly, like a lady!
Friday, July 03, 2009
Finally! It's time to be happy and Gay!
As you may have already heard, in a landmark judgement by the Delhi High Court yesterday, Homosexuality has been decriminalize. Before this, Section 377 of the IPC, from the British Raj times, read that homosexuality and any form of unnatural sex was a crime. The same has been amended, keeping in mind the basic right of a human being to equality and choice of partner. While this is a reason to rejoice for many, both LGBTs and others, issues like legalisation of gay marriages are still under debate.
I am all for equality and right to choose a partner for every human being, and ever since I came to know about the existence of Section 377, I have wondered which dark era we are living in. Why are we still sticking on to such ridiculous laws left to us by the British? As the biggest democracy, and the second largest population in the world, cant we think and make laws for ourselves, as per the situation and for the better of the people in our country?
News about the repealing of Section 377 was a great relief for me. I'm straight, but I feel happy for all those who have finally got the right to be who they are, and not be made out as criminals. I can imagine the sighs of relief and happiness the LGBTs must be heaving, having fought for their basic rights for so many years in India. I am glad to know, that finally India has started to tread the path of maturity, and is trying to rid itself of biases, stereotypes, and conservative beliefs.
But I still have doubts in my mind. Forget about further steps and legalisation of gay marriages etc. Taking this first step of decriminalisation itself might be a big problem for India. Already several religious groups and leaders have started to protest against this historical judgement, justifying that legalising homosexuality will lead to further disintegration of the family system and this kind of consensual unnatural sex is against the law of nature, and India's moral, social and religious fibre.
What crap. I mean its high time we adapt ourselves to the changing world and accept certain things in life, like the existence of Gays. Though its less popular, its not unnatural for a person to feel attracted towards the same sex. And whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, whether you legalise it of not, gays will always be there. By legalising homosexuality, we have allowed these people an equal right to be who they are. It is a basic right, denial of which was extremely unfair.
Every individual has their own religious, social, moral, cultural beliefs, and is entitled to their opinion. If you think that homosexuality is against your belief system, then you keep away from it. How can you dictate to another adult human being to choose their partners as per your beliefs?
But these protesters don't care for rationality, right to equality, and logic. I wonder what they are really afraid of? That suddenly all straight people will start feeling homosexual after this ruling? That suddenly all their kids will get affected by this ruling and become gay? Yes, is someone is gay, they will now get a chance to come out of the closet, but isn't it better that way than to force people to get "Cured" from this "affliction" and FORCE them into straight marriages?
They say it will ruin the already fragile family system. I do not agree. If gay marriages are legalised, I am sure may gays will be more than happy to settle down into happy matrimony and live a fulfilling life like any other straight couple: set up a house together, earn a living, do household chores, take care of each other. How does it matter if the two people doing that are both men or women? As long as they love each other and care for each other; no one in the world has a right to judge them as a threat to the society. They are part of society and have every right to live as they want.
They say there will be no offspring and the human race will die out. I don't think it is ever possible that everyone in this world turns gay and no babies are born. Not everyone is gay, nor ever will be. And even if that does happen, I think the earth will rejoice that finally the human race has stopped producing more people, who do nothing but violate nature. I know this sounds extreme but so does the protest.
They say if their son is gay they wont have grandchildren and their family name will not continue. In countries where gay marriages are legal, gays are also allowed to adopt or have children of their own with some help. There is no reason why we cannot have that here as well. With so many childless straight couples, and orphans on the other hand, adopting sounds like a great idea. And with sperm banks and surrogacy, now one can have their OWN flesh and blood too.
They feel that even if they are OK with someone in their family being gay, the society will not accept and ostracise them. Well, as time passes, people will get matured, or so I hope, and realise that homophobia is baseless and ridiculous. Haven't we come a long way from the times when Sati was legal and widow remarriage unthinkable? We managed to change one of the many important and long-believed traditions of our culture. MAybe we will be able to make a change in this case too. Hopefully sooner or later people will think logically and accept homosexuality: it wont be a taboo anymore, and LGBTs will be a comfortable part of the society. This change may take years or decades, and maybe the stigma may not be completely wiped out, but I hope some change does come about. And the change will start from each individual.
Ofcourse, until then we should prepare ourselves for a slew of protests, rallies, marches, and who knows, maybe even riots, all against this judgement, and continuing social stigma against the queer. But here's hoping that one day soon, this will die down and everyone will move on.
If only we understand, accept, respect and celebrate our diversity, can we be happy together as one nation. Kudos to the High Court for taking this decision. Cheers to all the gays on India, and boo to all those who are against this!
I am all for equality and right to choose a partner for every human being, and ever since I came to know about the existence of Section 377, I have wondered which dark era we are living in. Why are we still sticking on to such ridiculous laws left to us by the British? As the biggest democracy, and the second largest population in the world, cant we think and make laws for ourselves, as per the situation and for the better of the people in our country?
News about the repealing of Section 377 was a great relief for me. I'm straight, but I feel happy for all those who have finally got the right to be who they are, and not be made out as criminals. I can imagine the sighs of relief and happiness the LGBTs must be heaving, having fought for their basic rights for so many years in India. I am glad to know, that finally India has started to tread the path of maturity, and is trying to rid itself of biases, stereotypes, and conservative beliefs.
But I still have doubts in my mind. Forget about further steps and legalisation of gay marriages etc. Taking this first step of decriminalisation itself might be a big problem for India. Already several religious groups and leaders have started to protest against this historical judgement, justifying that legalising homosexuality will lead to further disintegration of the family system and this kind of consensual unnatural sex is against the law of nature, and India's moral, social and religious fibre.
What crap. I mean its high time we adapt ourselves to the changing world and accept certain things in life, like the existence of Gays. Though its less popular, its not unnatural for a person to feel attracted towards the same sex. And whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, whether you legalise it of not, gays will always be there. By legalising homosexuality, we have allowed these people an equal right to be who they are. It is a basic right, denial of which was extremely unfair.
Every individual has their own religious, social, moral, cultural beliefs, and is entitled to their opinion. If you think that homosexuality is against your belief system, then you keep away from it. How can you dictate to another adult human being to choose their partners as per your beliefs?
But these protesters don't care for rationality, right to equality, and logic. I wonder what they are really afraid of? That suddenly all straight people will start feeling homosexual after this ruling? That suddenly all their kids will get affected by this ruling and become gay? Yes, is someone is gay, they will now get a chance to come out of the closet, but isn't it better that way than to force people to get "Cured" from this "affliction" and FORCE them into straight marriages?
They say it will ruin the already fragile family system. I do not agree. If gay marriages are legalised, I am sure may gays will be more than happy to settle down into happy matrimony and live a fulfilling life like any other straight couple: set up a house together, earn a living, do household chores, take care of each other. How does it matter if the two people doing that are both men or women? As long as they love each other and care for each other; no one in the world has a right to judge them as a threat to the society. They are part of society and have every right to live as they want.
They say there will be no offspring and the human race will die out. I don't think it is ever possible that everyone in this world turns gay and no babies are born. Not everyone is gay, nor ever will be. And even if that does happen, I think the earth will rejoice that finally the human race has stopped producing more people, who do nothing but violate nature. I know this sounds extreme but so does the protest.
They say if their son is gay they wont have grandchildren and their family name will not continue. In countries where gay marriages are legal, gays are also allowed to adopt or have children of their own with some help. There is no reason why we cannot have that here as well. With so many childless straight couples, and orphans on the other hand, adopting sounds like a great idea. And with sperm banks and surrogacy, now one can have their OWN flesh and blood too.
They feel that even if they are OK with someone in their family being gay, the society will not accept and ostracise them. Well, as time passes, people will get matured, or so I hope, and realise that homophobia is baseless and ridiculous. Haven't we come a long way from the times when Sati was legal and widow remarriage unthinkable? We managed to change one of the many important and long-believed traditions of our culture. MAybe we will be able to make a change in this case too. Hopefully sooner or later people will think logically and accept homosexuality: it wont be a taboo anymore, and LGBTs will be a comfortable part of the society. This change may take years or decades, and maybe the stigma may not be completely wiped out, but I hope some change does come about. And the change will start from each individual.
Ofcourse, until then we should prepare ourselves for a slew of protests, rallies, marches, and who knows, maybe even riots, all against this judgement, and continuing social stigma against the queer. But here's hoping that one day soon, this will die down and everyone will move on.
If only we understand, accept, respect and celebrate our diversity, can we be happy together as one nation. Kudos to the High Court for taking this decision. Cheers to all the gays on India, and boo to all those who are against this!
Friday, June 26, 2009
MJ - R.I.P.
Today is one of the saddest days of my life.
I woke up, thinking it was just another usual friday, when the news hit me.
Michael Jackson died yesterday at his LA home. He collapsed, went into coma and finally died.
But I still cannot believe it. It has not sunk in. He just suddenly died. Im shocked.
I loved that guy. He was the first international music star I ever heard. I grew up on his songs. We all did. We sang, danced to his tunes. He had a song for every mood... romance, dance, brotherhood...
There have been many talented musicians who have walked on the face of this earth, but no one had the mass appeal and fan following like that of MJ.
I know apart from all the mourning, there are many people who are happy he is dead or are making fun of his supposed paedophile ways. I dont know if he really did those things, and I dont care.
He was a phenomenon. A legend. He crossed all boundaries of music and geography. He did a lot to give back to the world through his songs and activities. He was a great man and I sincerely feel the world has suffered a great loss.
Not only is it a sad loss, its a tragic loss. MJ had unmatched fame and fan following. And money. But a rare skin disease, failed marriages, financial ruin and paedophilia controversies marred the man, and made his last 5 years a horror.
I feel sad for him, what a sad way to go, but maybe it was a relief for him from the mess his life had become.
All said and done, I wish he had stayed longer, come to India for one last concert, written and sung his last legendary song... But that is not to happen and we will have to make do with the legacy and the music he left behind.
I just hope the whole autopsy thing is done and over with ASAP and more mockery and drama is not made out of him and his life. May his soul Rest In Peace.
Michael Jackson - we love you and will always miss you. You will be remembered forever!
I woke up, thinking it was just another usual friday, when the news hit me.
Michael Jackson died yesterday at his LA home. He collapsed, went into coma and finally died.
But I still cannot believe it. It has not sunk in. He just suddenly died. Im shocked.
I loved that guy. He was the first international music star I ever heard. I grew up on his songs. We all did. We sang, danced to his tunes. He had a song for every mood... romance, dance, brotherhood...
There have been many talented musicians who have walked on the face of this earth, but no one had the mass appeal and fan following like that of MJ.
I know apart from all the mourning, there are many people who are happy he is dead or are making fun of his supposed paedophile ways. I dont know if he really did those things, and I dont care.
He was a phenomenon. A legend. He crossed all boundaries of music and geography. He did a lot to give back to the world through his songs and activities. He was a great man and I sincerely feel the world has suffered a great loss.
Not only is it a sad loss, its a tragic loss. MJ had unmatched fame and fan following. And money. But a rare skin disease, failed marriages, financial ruin and paedophilia controversies marred the man, and made his last 5 years a horror.
I feel sad for him, what a sad way to go, but maybe it was a relief for him from the mess his life had become.
All said and done, I wish he had stayed longer, come to India for one last concert, written and sung his last legendary song... But that is not to happen and we will have to make do with the legacy and the music he left behind.
I just hope the whole autopsy thing is done and over with ASAP and more mockery and drama is not made out of him and his life. May his soul Rest In Peace.
Michael Jackson - we love you and will always miss you. You will be remembered forever!
Monsoon Ala Re!
Monsoon is here, and how!
It has been raining a bit here and there in the past few days in Mumbai.
But it was only today that it really poured. Started early morning around 7-8, and continued till afternoon. The town side got flooded, large parts of suburb roads were covered with water too. Many people got stuck on the way to work..
All this in just a few hours of rain on day 1! Im all for rain.. but I wonder if we are prepared as a city for the upcoming onslaught, what with the highest tide in years coming up next month! Im sure no one wants a repeat of July 2006 floods.
I hope the residents and BMC together can make this monsoon enjoyable and not painful!
It has been raining a bit here and there in the past few days in Mumbai.
But it was only today that it really poured. Started early morning around 7-8, and continued till afternoon. The town side got flooded, large parts of suburb roads were covered with water too. Many people got stuck on the way to work..
All this in just a few hours of rain on day 1! Im all for rain.. but I wonder if we are prepared as a city for the upcoming onslaught, what with the highest tide in years coming up next month! Im sure no one wants a repeat of July 2006 floods.
I hope the residents and BMC together can make this monsoon enjoyable and not painful!
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